Chivalry is Dead
by M. Michelon
Summary: Kim Conwell hates school. She hates home. She isn't very popular. The only place she actually feels at home is at her barn with her horse or in her dreams. In her own little world, men know how to treat a woman right. In her little world, chivalry hasn't died yet. If only that world was a reality. Can a certain wolf show her a new reality? Or is chivalry truly dead?
1. Prologue

**Author's Note: For those who are interested in Jared and Kim, I hope you all like this story. There are just a few things that I need to get out of the way really quickly. Those who read my other stories know that I have my own little world in which I right. I'm a Bella-basher. My original story ****_The Consequences_**** has blossomed into this series and I greatly appreciate all the support that I've been getting for them. Characters that are not recognized are probably my original characters. Feel free to PM me at any point and ask questions if you don't want to read the other stories. With that said, please enjoy!**

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**Prologue**

I slid my hands down my pants, hoping that it would somehow make the dirt from my morning ride disappear. But it didn't; if anything, it probably spread the mud down my thighs. I guess it didn't really matter. I wasn't someone that people looked at anyways. I flipped my hair over my shoulder, pulling the long dark tail. I hated my hair. It was thicker than all of my friends and pin straight. It refused to take a curl no matter what I did. So I generally shoved it up on the top of my head in a high ponytail.

I pulled my old truck into a spot away from everyone else. I didn't have many friends at school. I knew people and I was friendly to people. But my real friends weren't at this school. For that reason alone, I parked away from all the hubbub. I stuck my nose in a book and didn't look up until I got to my classroom. I didn't need people to notice me. Once they started, they would only notice more things about me that they could tease me about.

Most people in La Push loved spring time. It was the time when the green that surrounded our area was actually welcome. It was the start of new life, the slow change to the start of summer, and the wonderful prelude to the end of the school year. But I hated it. It was the time when all the girls on campus started to wear their shorts and think about what they wanted to wear for the infamous Spring Fling dance. It was a well known fact that you didn't go unless you had a date. And me? Well, I never had a date so I never got asked. Which mean that while everyone else was trying to figure out the right way to ask their dates, what colors were appropriate, etc, etc, I was trying to keep my head down and my butt out of trouble.

"Kim," Mr. Murphy called. I hated the creep. I couldn't put my finger on him, but there was something about him that sent warning signals flashing in my brain. "Did you do last night's assignment?" Of course I did last night's assignment. All I ever did was after school was work and homework. But meek little Kim knew better than to say anything. It would all get back to my mother and I would pay for it later. So instead, I just nodded. "Well, I look forward to seeing your responses in class. There were several other students that had problems." I just nodded, wondering if all the other students he had spoken to were girls too. Regardless, I just nodded again and took myself off to my locker.

I tucked my Jane Austen between my thighs and started twirling the combination. People were hustling and bustling around me, shoving past, knocking into me. I kept my legs braced apart like a football player expecting to get the blow. I lurched a little as some dumb jock hit me from behind, managing to knock my book from between my legs. The things that I was holding in my hands went sprawling to the floor. A few other kids started to laugh a little, sending my face up in flames. A few of them even hurled their little insults at me. "Klutz," one guy said as he walked by.

A large frame hunkered down next to me and started gathering my stuff for me. "Ignore him. Tyler's just a dick," Jared said. Of all the people to come and help me, it had to be him. He'd always been nice to me, but he'd never really paid me much attention. He didn't look at me, just politely gathered all of his my things and handed them to me. "Sorry about that."

"Jared, leave the nerd alone before she has a heart attack from being so close to you," someone called.

"Shut up!" he defended. I don't think he even realized who he was helping. "Just because you all are assholes doesn't mean that chivalry is completely dead." Says the man that wasn't looking at me while he was trying to be chivalrous. "Sorry about them, again." He stood up and reached a hand out to me. Once he'd helped me to my feet, he handed me my things and smiled down at me. Our eyes never met, but at least he looked at me... kind of. "Have a nice day." He gently thrust all of my books at me. I nodded and tried to say something in response, but I couldn't form a sentence. Not with him around.

I suppose it was a childhood fantasy, but it was one that I liked. There were days that I imagined Jared coming up on my horse, trotting around the arena and finally noticing that I was there. The reality was that Jared probably didn't even know how to ride a horse. And if he did, I highly doubted he wanted to ride Geronimo. Most people were immediately intimidated by the horse's size. If they only took a chance, they'd find that my nearly seventeen-handed horse thought he was more of a puppy than a horse. In my head, though, Jared wouldn't be intimidated by my animal's size. He would ride around just like any well seasoned cowboy. Then he would notice me standing at the gate and pull Geronimo to halt in front of me. I'd open the gate and he'd step away from the gate far enough for me to slip in. And then he'd reach his hand down to me, taking hold of me just below the elbow and pull me up behind him. And then, like a dream, we'd go loping off into the forest in the sunset.

But a dream is all that it would ever be. Jared would never notice me. We had been in the same class since we were in third grade and he hadn't noticed me yet. I doubted that anything was going to change. Besides, Jared grew more ruggedly handsome as the years wore on. And while I may have grown a few curves and learned what looked good on me, I wasn't anything special to look at. I was supposed to wear glasses, but I traded them out for contacts when I was with my horse. I wore cowboy boots and extra long jeans that would cover my heels when I was riding. I had an addiction to ribbed tank tops and little hoodies that would go over to keep me warm. In the winter, I wore my thick winter jacket that was a few sizes too big. But for the most part, I looked the same every day. The only thing that changed was the color of my shirt. How could I expect Jared to live up to my dreams when I clearly didn't live up to the dreams that any guy would have?

I couldn't.

I shoved the rest of my stuff in my locker and pulled my first two classes' books out. I pushed as much stuff as I could into my messenger style bag and kept the other stuff in my arms. I knew that it was wrong, but I was still dreaming. I was still wishing that _someone,_not necessarily Jared, would care about enough to want to walk me from class to class. But I didn't have anyone. I didn't have a brother or sister to stand up for me. I didn't really have best friends that would be there to hang out with me. The best that I had was a boy who still believed in chivalry. He stood up for everyone, not just me.

But that boy was the things that dreams were made of. He gave me hope that maybe, just maybe, good guys still existed. And while Jared my not be the one for me, I could find someone just as polite.

Of course, those thoughts and hopes were punctuated by a door slamming closed in front of my face as one of the basketball guys failed to realize that I was standing right behind him with an armful of book. I juggled my hold on the things in my arms and tried to get the door far enough open that I could shove my toe in and open it all the way. No one really noticed me trying and of the few that did, no one got up. Well, one guy did. Someone I didn't know stood up and looked at me. He even made eye contact... And then he went over to his girlfriend.

That settled it. The idea that someone should take care of women, be there to care for them, protect them, and provide for them; the idea that families should be raised by partners that loved each other was gone. Chivalry is officially, now and forever, from this moment forward dead.


	2. Chapter I

**Author's Note: Wow! Thank you guys for the overwhelming support on a story that just started. A disclaimer to those who are new to my little world. I write slow and steady and long stories. In my version of the Pack, Jared & Kim were the third couple to imprint. Which means that we can expect another ****_long_**** story like ****_The Consequences._**** Enjoy!**

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**Chapter I**

"I don't know Ryanne," I said while we were sitting in chemistry. We'd been assigned lab partners at the beginning of the year. I wasn't sure how I felt about her in the beginning. She hung out with mostly men and had very muscular arms. It was a well-known fact that she was fighter and that she was good. But the more that we talked and got to know each other, the more I liked her. She would be a person that I could spend more time with and consider a friend. Eventually. For now, she was just someone that I could talk to. "I've never gone to the Spring Fling."

"It's my favorite dance that the school hosts," she replied, flipping her ponytail over her opposite shoulder. I wished that my hair would curl and bounce like her ringlets. But I had always heard that girls with curly hair wished that theirs would be as pin straight as mine. "You're not going by yourself. You're going with me."

"But... But Ryanne, we don't know each other," I replied. We had been lab partners for the entire year and knew the basics about one another, but we weren't close enough to go to a dance together like the girls who had been best friends since kindergarten did. "And everyone knows that you go to the dance with Jacob Black every year."

"Jake can't go; he has work. But he's such a pain in the ass that he doesn't want me to go by myself and he won't let me go with another guy. Please, Kim, please," she begged. She turned those brilliant blue eyes over to me with a sparkle that was so childlike, I couldn't ignore it. Was this how Jacob felt every time that he talked to her? How did the boy ever say no to her?

"Can I just think about it?"

"Is your thought process going to take longer than two minutes?"

"Have some patience," I surprised myself by saying. I slapped a hand over my mouth immediately and looked down at the table, but Ryanne laughed at me instead.

"I'm not very good at that, am I?" she giggled. "Look, here's my cell phone number." She handed me a scrap of paper with the ten digits scrawled on it. "Text me when you decide. But please let me know soon. The suspense will probably kill me _and_ I need to figure out when I can go dress shopping," she explained. I chuckled at her and nodded. Only after did I turn my attention back to our assignment. More molecular problems. Why was it that math had to appear in almost every single subject? And what was wrong with the man who thought it was a good idea add the alphabet into the subject? Was he suicidal or just plain evil?

By the time lunch had rolled around, I was more than ready to be finished with the hustle and bustle of school. It was play time for me. I wanted to be out in the pasture, tugging on Geronimo's lead to get him to walk just a little bit faster so that we could make it to the tack room and be on our way. But I still had two more classes before I could officially be done for the day. So I found myself a quiet, dark corner in the back of the library, where the dragon who guarded the books wouldn't notice me eating.

I knew that it was stupid, but I loved losing myself in the world of Jane Austen. Most of her characters were _real_ people. And I don't mean that they were modeled after real people. They were jaded, disappointed, proud, stubborn. They weren't perfect. Each character had his or her own flaws that needed to be overcome. I liked that it was okay for people to get angry and that apologies were made at some point. And, you know, that chivalry still existed. I couldn't decide between old English novels and the romance novels of the Old West. I guess it didn't really matter so long as the guy go the girl.

I barely survived my next two classes. Calculus, which was by far the most boring of all the classes I had, was spent staring at my notes and pretending like I was paying attention. I, however, was drawing out a new pattern for the tooled leather chaps I wanted to make this summer. Something new for the show season coming up. That, of course, was if Geronimo and I decided that's what we wanted to do. Knowing my mother, that was what I was doing regardless.

When the bell rang out and called the end of my, I shoved everything into my messenger bag and walked as quickly as invisibly as possible to my car. I threw my book bag into the empty back seat, glad that I'd remembered to pull the jump seats up this morning. If another one of them snapped, I don't think my mother would let me keep the car. It was hard enough to convince her to let me keep the vehicle from the late nineties anyways. "You are a reflection of your mother," she'd say. "And try around in that mud covered _thing_ is not the reflection that I want out there."

I impatiently waited for the line of older kids and smart students that were leaving an hour early. Once I was out of the parking lot, I sped down the back roads of town to avoid traffic and found myself at the barn. There were very few people my age at the barn. Most of them that were down there were taking lessons. I think there was one other girl who owned her own horse, but she was too busy living up the high school experience to actually be around her horse. I guess that was fair. There was a part of me that felt like she should be around more often or sell the horse. But I never said anything. I'd had my mother's harsh opinions thrust on me so often that I refused to do the same to others.

I guess I should explain the barn a little better. It wasn't a literal _barn_ in the sense that I'm sure people think of when I call it that. The "barn" was a boarding facility with two covered arena, more than a hundred paddocks, and two pastures. Geronimo was one of the few that lived in a paddock that had its own little run area attacked to it. I was out there everyday, but it for some reason I couldn't get out there I wanted my boy to have room to run around. He must have heard my car doors close or my engine or something, because my horse was standing at the gate of his stall waiting for me.

He nickered as I neared his little box. It was kind of ironic that I had him, though. A black and white Tobiano paint, his dark color matched my hair. My mother had some professional pictures that were framed in her house of me lying down along his back, his solid black main mingling with my hair. "Hey there boy," I said, scratching at his muzzle. His lip curled back when the scratch from my nails tickled his nose. "You ready to go out?" He tossed his head around in a show of attitude that he didn't actually have.

Most days, I wondered why I even bothered putting a halter on the beast. He followed me around like a puppy dog. I didn't even bother tying him once I'd gotten to my tack room. My mother was well off in her job teaching at the University of Washington in Seattle. Unfortunately for me, and I guess for her, she taught in the fashion design industry. Basically, if everything wasn't the newest and greatest, my mother wanted it. And here, the greatest thing was a private tack room with cross ties. I kept a cot in the corner and, despite the logic of it, I preferred sleeping there to sleeping at my home. That was mostly because I felt more at home here than I did in the large house that my mother owned.

I brushed, picked, and tacked my horse in less than ten minutes and walked him out to an open area. He stood still and straight while I grabbed mane, reins, and horn. "Do you think you could shrink a little?" I asked him. I said it every time that I got up. Hiking my hip up so that my knee was in my chest wasn't always comfortable. But once I was up and settled and trotting towards the single outside arena, I wouldn't have him any smaller.

Most people who didn't ride horses every single day didn't understand how it could easily become second nature. So while I was sitting on my horse, letting him warm up in the circular arena, I was looking down at my iPhone. I don't know what I was thinking, but I found myself looking at hairstyles for formal dances and dresses that would look good on me. I found myself dreaming again.

But this time, there was a chance for that dream to become a reality. Ryanne had offered me a chance to go to the dance without a date and without embarrassing myself. Why shouldn't I take it?

I switched from the internet to my messages and texted her number. _Hey Ryanne, it's Kim. If you still want to go to Spring Fling, I'd like to go._ I sent the text quickly, before I had a chance to second guess myself.

_Can't wait!_ she replied.

And as stupid as the dance would be, I couldn't wait either.


	3. Chapter II

**Author's Note: I don't really have much to say. I'm sorry that it's been a few days. I hope you all enjoy. Love & Thanks**

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**Chapter II**

I tried to sneak into the house, but that was impossible. My mother knew everything that happened in her house. I just wanted to grab whatever dinner Ms. Callahan had made, hide upstairs in my side of the house and disappear from view. I slid my boots from my feet, leaving them in the muck room. "Kimberley," she called when the door closed. I sighed heavily. Why couldn't it just be Callahan? "Where have you been?"

The same place I always go after school. If you were an actual part of my life, you would know these things. "I was with my horse," I said instead of all the mean things that were swirling around in my head.

"And what about your homework?" she demanded.

I did it in my tack shed while I was waiting for my horse to dry. "I've finished it, Mother." She made a little gasping noise when I came into her line of sight.

"What on Earth happened to your clothes?" I was sure that I was covered in shavings. But they always smelled so good and they were always so warm. They were the perfect place to take a nap after a long ride on the trail. "Kimberley, when will you learn to buy clothing that will actually make you look semi-attractive?"

Way to build up a teenager's confidence. "I'm sorry, Mother. I didn't mean to be such a mess." I didn't mean to be such a disappointment to you. "May I go upstairs and shower?"

"I don't want to see those clothes again, Kimberley." I just nodded because I wanted her to stop talking to me. "I will be in the office if you need me." When was the last time I asked her for anything? Right; two months before never. I forgot all about that. I snuck through the house to the kitchen. The cantankerous old crone was sitting in front of the television, a pile of knitting in front of her. I grabbed the labeled dinner out of the fridge.

_Kimberley, I've noticed your jeans were getting too tight. Mrs. Callahan will be making only salads for you. Love you, sweetheart. _Shedidn't even have the decency to write out her words of encouragement. It was typed, printed on card stock and taped to the top of a ceramic bowl. I pulled it off, angry, and flipped it over. _No man will ever want a fat woman. _I swear the woman's goal in life was to destroy all my happiness.

I ate my dinner sitting on a bench in my room that was part of a box window. I sent my dishes down the dolly that led to the kitchen, glad that I could avoid my mother yet again. I showered in peace, letting the hot water trickle down my skin and wipe away the dust from the barn. Once I was clean and brushing my hair in front of the large window, knuckles rapped against my door. "Come in."

My mother entered the room in all her elegant glory. "I'm flying to New York for two weeks," she said. "Mrs. Callahan will be available to you for anything that you need." It was the same speech that I had gotten at least once a month since I was old enough to understand that my mother wasn't coming home at night. Most other children would have taken to their housekeepers and nannies, but I didn't. Mrs. Callahan was too demanding and cruel to be the mother in my life. And I had gone through too many nannies to cling to them. My mother was easily bored.

By the time I woke up in the morning, any sign of my mother had disappeared just like her. Mrs. Callahan greeted me stiffly and shoved food down my throat, urging me out of the house so that she could watch her shows. The day flew by much like the one before. The only major difference was that this time, Ryanne and I made plans to go shopping in Port Angeles on Thursday.

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The truck pulled up shortly after school Thursday afternoon. I felt kind of guilty for leaving my horse alone for the day, but decided that he could probably use a break. Ryanne came up to the front door and knocked. I yanked the door open and saw her... and Jacob Black. Why were we going shopping with him? "Don't ask," she said. "He's coming with us and so is my sister." It must be nice to have family that would always want to be around. "Just think of him like a chauffeur."

I nodded and let her lead the way. I squished myself in the back if the car, kind of surprised when Bella Swan didn't move into the backseat of the car with me. Instead, she tried to awkwardly intrude on Ryanne and Jake. I felt like I was part of a soap opera. And I definitely didn't want to be a part of that. I kept my head down, staring out the window and waiting for us to get wherever it was that we were going. Once we were out of this small car, surely things would be less awkward.

Or not. It was the day before the dance and there were hundreds of dresses, just none that people wanted. That's why all of these ones were left. Bella, however, was making everything more tense than it had been when she was in the car by walking down the aisles that held the black dresses. She looked like a widow in mourning. And completely out of place in Ryanne and Jacob happy little teasing bubble. "You told her that it was the _Spring _fling, right?" I muttered to myself. I must have been louder than I thought because Jacob and Ryanne smiled. I ducked my head and flushed with guilt.

"Bella's not going to the dance," she said with a little giggle. "She's been sick lately and my dad asked me to bring her along," she explained. She took a quick look at the line and groaned. "Let's just find our dresses and get out of here." She didn't look at all happy that Bella was here. She was certainly less than enthused that we were stuck shopping. That suited me just fine. I knew my size, so I normally went to the tank tops and grabbed colors. There wasn't much thought with what I did.

I looked back at the line. I hadn't ever seen it look so bad. I groaned. "This is what you get for shopping the night before the dance; we'll be lucky to find anything," I said, feeling a little bolder. Ryanne didn't seem to mind my brand of sarcasm. I didn't mention that we could have gone into my mother's office and grabbed any number of clothes that she had sitting up there. No, I just continued shopping and struggling to ignore Bella's complaints about the amount of time it was taking. We sorted through racks and racks, getting a few good picks each. Jacob settled himself contentedly in a chair, expecting us to show him our dresses by the looks of it. I blushed beet red and looked at Ryanne. "I don't want Jake to see any of these." She smiled and nodded at me.

"Okay, we'll just show each other." I breathed a sigh of relief. "Besides, Jake's not taking me to the dance, so he doesn't get to see," she shouted afterwards.

"I have to work," Jacob screamed back. Ryanne just laughed and shook her head. And then the real work began. I was five dresses in when I came across a dress that I didn't know I had picked up. It was a size ten. I sighed, already knowing that it wasn't going to fit. My size was one thing that my mother was always right about. I wasn't as small as all the other girls that went to my school. It would be different if I looked like Ryanne. She was the same size, but full of toned muscles and shaped curves. I didn't have those. Knowing that the damned dress wouldn't fit, I slid it up my body.

The white lace was accented my a thick yellow cotton sash that made me look like I had a waist _and_ hips. Wouldn't my mother be surprised to know that I had a figure . I also chortled with disbelief as I pulled the straps in place and zipped it up. With another heavy breath, I stepped out of the dressing room to find Ryanne just gaping at me. "Kim this is perfect," she said.

"Are you sure it's not too revealing?" I asked her. The lace ended in a straight line along my bra.

She shook her head adamantly. "You look great, Kim; you don't have to worry about a thing." And while her words were comforting, they didn't stop the porcupine that was jumping around in my belly. Worry was the least of my emotions to be concerned about. But I suppose it was as good a place as any to start.


	4. Chapter III

**Author's Note: Okay, everyone. I just wanted to say thank you all for the support that I've been getting. Just a reminder to brace yourselves for another long story! Enjoy!**

**Chapter III**

She was standing there, on the dance floor just like everyone else that was at this dance. But she was standing there with Jared Littlecreek. I felt kind of betrayed. And that was ridiculous. I had no right to feel like that. Ryanne had invited me when she didn't have a date. There was no reason for me to believe that she had been lying to me. She was a beautiful girl; it didn't take an idiot to see that. I wouldn't be surprised if Jared just walked up and started talking to her. I just thought that it was a little strange. Everyone knew that Jacob Black and Ryanne were their own little thing.

I half hoped that she wouldn't recognize me. I was kind of wishing that I could turn around and walk away without her noticing me at all. "Kim!" she screamed. A few people turned to look at me, but I don't think any of them recognized me. And how could I expect them to when they had never seen me like this. Not only did Ryanne put some makeup on me, she'd found some magical way to curl my hair and let it fall in soft ringlets around my face. She waved me over, seeming like she was perfectly content with the way that things had gone. I marched closer, dread sinking in my stomach. The only good thing that came out of my fear was the fact that it weighed me down enough to keep me from stumbling in my high heeled shoes.

Ryanne's hand stuck out and snagged my elbow, tugging me closer to the man that haunted my dreams. The man that could never be as great as what I had made him. Right? That would be impossible. "Jared, I'm going to sit for a little," she said. Oh, good; we were ditching him. We were going to go and enjoy ourselves without him. "You should dance with Kim." She wouldn't have said that. She couldn't have said that.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Jared glare at her just like I was. Only, he seemed a little more angry then he was surprised. She walked away from us without so much as a backwards glance. I started to walk away too, feeling like I had waisted money on a dress and a ticket only to be embarrassed by someone that I had thought of as my friend. "So you, uh, you didn't want to dance?" I spun around, startled by the deep rumbling. Sure, I had heard him speak before. I'd even heard him speak to me. But I couldn't think of one time that I'd heard him talk to me when he was conscious of _who_ it was that he was talking to. His large, tanned hand was outstretched. "I mean, I wasn't quite ready to get off this dance floor and no -"

He stopped suddenly, looking at me like he'd never truly seen me before. That was ridiculous. We'd seen each other everyday of our lives for years. I found myself sucked into his eyes though. How had I never noticed just how warm they were? There was a depth to them that promised hidden caverns, places in his heart that people didn't know about. Places that I wanted to know. "Will you dance with me, Kim?" I may have stopped breathing. I don't think that he'd ever said my name before.

Despite my better judgement, I found myself nodding and slipping my hand into his. Both of our hands had callouses, but his were rough like the pad of a dog's feet. Mine were just hardened from years of working with my horse. I thought I might combust into flames at that moment. I looked away from the intense stare to find another set of eyes on me. I smiled at Ryanne, finally understanding. This was why Jared was there. She'd been trying to get him to dance with me. That was the only thing that made sense. She was trying to play matchmaker.

"You look beautiful," he muttered. I blushed as red as some of the hibiscus flowers that we'd made for the dance. He smiled down at me like a man that had just been told he was getting the newest toy. I noticed some of his friends glaring at us. I shivered, uncomfortable with the idea of being watched.

"Your friends are going to see you with me," I said. I didn't want to be noticed. "They're going to notice us soon."

I saw something that flashed in his eyes, but before I could identify it, it was gone. "They're going to notice _you_," he growled. He sounded jealous or protective or some mixture of the two. "How have I not noticed you before," he muttered. I don't think it was meant for me to hear it. I turned my face away from him, wishing that I hadn't heard him. The last thing that I wanted was to know he didn't see me. He was no better than all the other people that were surrounding me. "I didn't mean that the way it sounded, Kim," he said.

I shrugged. "It's fine," I played it off. There was no need to tell him how much it truly hurt to have him acknowledge my lack of appeal. "If I wanted people to notice me, I would wear a cow suit and a bell," I muttered. He laughed, his hand sliding down my back to the seam that connected my bodice to my skirt. He pulled me closer, closer then I ever thought that I would get to Jared Littlecreek. I could feel his fingers playing with the end of the bow on my sash, feel the heat of his hand soaking through my dress.

"I always knew you were there, Kim," he said. "I'm just wondering when you became this," he explained.

About the same time that you became the king of the jocks. "I don't know," I whispered. "We should stop before people start to notice you. It'll ruin your reputation, Jared. You don't want to be seen with someone like me." In a real chivalrous world, your reputation was everything. I wouldn't allow Jared's to be tarnished by the fact that I'm worthless in the world of high school students.

He frowned at me, clearly unhappy with my words. Instead of giving me an answer, though, he took a step closer to me. We were standing chest to chest then. "You want to know the God's honest truth, Kim?" he asked me. I nodded; what else was I supposed to say. "I knew that you were there. I remember when you were there for me after -"

"I remember," I cut in. I didn't need to remember it and neither did he. It wouldn't be a pleasant experience for either one of us.

"I've been a dick lately." I flushed when he cussed. It wasn't something that I heard often. I mean, people cussed in school all the time, but it was rare that I was party to any conversation with the words. "Since I got to middle school, I haven't been the guy that I was."

"Jared, I don't know what you're talking about," I said instead of telling him that I didn't want to have this talk with him while we were at a school dance. If I was being honest with myself, I would have to admit that this was probably the only chance that we would have to talk. Come Monday morning, I would be Kim Conwell with her nose in a book and we would go back to Jared Littlecreek. Come school time, this would just be a scratch to his reputation that he would have to spend the time to buffer out. "I should get going."

I pulled out of his arms and he let me. I barely made it to the door before someone stopped me. A thick arm struck out in front of the opening and hindered me from getting out. "I don't recognize you," the guy said.

"Excuse me," I said in a quiet voice. It was the best way to make sure that I got out of this situation. If I just kept my head down and my voice quiet, they would let me. "I'm trying to leave."

I recognized the man as one of the Redtree brothers. I frowned at him. We only talked when he wanted to copy my history notes. And without a backbone, I usually let him. "Little Kimmie C.," he said, copying the nickname that I hadn't heard since I was a little girl. "You look all grown up." His hand came up to rest on my bare shoulder. I shrugged him off and took a step back. "You running from me, Kimmie?" I took another step, looking around to see if there was anyone that was going to help me.

"Leave me alone, Tyler," I muttered. He caused more than enough problems with everyone.

"Let's see just how grown up you are." I slid one hand around my back and the other clutched my shoulder and dragged me closer.

"Let me go."

"Redtree." I almost sagged in relief. "I think Kim told you to let her go." Tyler opened his mouth to say something, but all he managed to do was catch Jared's fist with his teeth.


	5. Chapter IV

**Author's Note: Okay everyone, here's tonight's chapter. I know that it's late and I apologize. I'm just asking you guys to bare with me and have a little heart. I try to update five stories every day and feel absolutely terrible when I can't. Enjoy!**

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**Chapter IV:****_ Jared's Point of View_**

I refused to be a part of the bullying. But after seeing what it could do, I didn't want to put myself in that position. So I made myself the most popular person that I could be. I was on the football and baseball teams. I was involved in every club that I could do. I was a good student in most of my classes. I tried to be friends with everyone. But I don't think that I always succeeded in that pursuit. After middle school, I had lost some of the compassion that I'd had. After the incident, of course.

I looked down the hallway to find one of the girls that I was pretty sure I knew trying to pick up all of her stuff. Being a wolf had forced me to quit most of my after school activities. I had chosen to play the "bad boy" angle and keep my friends my friends. That didn't mean that I had to be a complete douche. I stooped down to the ground and helped her gather things, taking in the smell of sawdust and hay. It was almost intoxicating. I spoke up when people were insulting the girl out of habit, but in truth, I couldn't tell you who I was talking to. "Have a nice day," I said when I handed her the things from the ground. She made no response, so I took off running.

I sank into my place next to Ryanne wishing that Jake had been able to come to school. I hated when he put me on imprint watch duty. "Hey, I have a question for you," she said as I started getting ready for the day. I arched an eyebrow. I had always liked ryanne. She was a tough little thing with a great figure. But more than that, she was completely unafraid. She liked talking back and speaking her mind. "So, Sam gave Jake patrol for this weekend which means that he won't be able to take me to the Spring Fling. But I've already cleared it with him and I was kind of hoping that you would take me."

It wouldn't be a terrible thing for my reputation. Ryanne was a good looking girl; now that she was Jake's imprint and more like my sister, it was hard for me to look at her like I had before. But there was no denying that she was beautiful. Being seen at a dance with her would likely help me. "Jake said that this is okay?" She nodded. "I mean, I guess if I'm not going to get the shit beat out of me for it, I'd like to take you."

She squealed with feminine excitement and spent the better part of class writing in her little notebook. I felt like I had just asked disaster to a dance.

Disaster ended up looking amazing when the dance finally rolled around. I drove up in my mother's car to the Black house to find Jake riveted on some beauty in blue. Her hair was piled high on her head and looked like a donut. Her dress was strapless, hugging curves I didn't even know she had. I shifted the car into park, fully intending to pacify Jake's concerns. Ryanne, however, started marching towards the car with determination. Clearly, Jake had woken the beast in the little girl. "You look great," I said, hoping that I could tame the little monster sitting in my car.

I was kind of shocked when she smiled and began chattering. She smiled all the way to the dance the whole time that we were on the dance floor. After an hour or so, the music began slowing down to more intimate things. She looked over my shoulder and perked up, happier than she had been the entire night. "Kim!" she shouted. Conwell? I hadn't really spoke to her since... since the incident. She waved quiet Kimmie C. over, but I hadn't really been paying attention. Who could I dance with for the night? Besides Ryanne, of course. I knew she wouldn't want to dance the slow songs, though. She was with Jake whether she wanted to admit it or not. "Jared, I'm going to sit for a little while." I nodded. It would stand to reason. "You should dance with Kim."

The mouse and I both turned to stare at her, but I refused to look at Kim. She'd been through the incident with me. Maybe if she'd tried a little harder to fit in, we could have been better friends. Ryanne was already floating away, though, and I couldn't figure out how I was going to get out of this.

Apparently, I didn't need to figure it out. Kim was already walking away from me. I couldn't just let her walk away. That wouldn't look very good. "So you, uh, you didn't want to dance?" I asked. I would never force her to do something that she didn't want to. But it couldn't hurt to dance with her. She'd always been kind to me. She turned around, her white dress flowing in a large circle. "I mean," I began, trying to make it seem like I didn't care either way, "I wasn't quite ready to et off this dance floor." I hadn't realized that little Kim had grown up somewhere along the line. This girl, with her black hair curled and her eyes painted with shimmery brown, had curves that definitely hadn't been there before. "And no -" I met her eyes and suddenly all coherent thought was out the window.

It was like I was losing myself in the brown of her eyes. There was a fear that was glowing deep inside them that promised me forever. Her nose was straight and flat. Her cheekbones were high. Her eyes were the stereotypical almond shape that was associated with Native Americans. Her lips, however, were plump and rusty red and, in my opinion, begging to be kissed. All of the sudden, I didn't care about my reputation. I _needed _her to be with me. "Will you dance with me, Kim?" She nodded shyly, a deep blush coloring the apples of her cheeks. She slipped her little hand into mine.

Protectiveness that I had never felt before surged through me. I wanted her to know that she could trust me. I wanted her to be mine. The world didn't matter anymore. She did. Our callouses' friction burned me like fire when she stepped closer. It wasn't nearly as much as I would have liked, but it was what I'd take for the minute. Sawdust and sweet hay wafted up to my nose. She was the girl that had been knocked down earlier? Someone had hurt her? And I hadn't been there to prevent it. I looked her up and down, trying to make sure that she was unharmed.

Instead, my head became filled with the sight of her. Her calves were long and lean, but clearly strong. Compared to her upper body, her golden legs were almost pale. They were nothing compared to the sun kissed bronze of her shoulders, chest, arms, and face. The white of her dress complimented the beauty of her skin tone. The yellow was happy, bubbly, bright. It was almost a representation of the Kim that I remembered from back then. "You look beautiful," I said when I raised my eyes to meet her face. She blushed the color of a firetruck and busied herself with looking around.

"Your friends are going to see you with me," she murmured, still focused on the people around us. "They're going to notice us very soon." I tried to figure out what she was talking about. The song had changed, which meant that people were soon going to be wondering why I was still dancing with the same girl. Maybe I should let her go. She didn't look like she wanted to stay in my arms. She certainly didn't sound like she wanted to stay there.

As quickly as the thoughts entered my brain, I was set to snarling. I didn't want anyone else here in my arms. And then her words went through my brain. I shook my head lightly. "They're going to notice _you_." And I didn't like that. I didn't like that one bit. She was mine, even if she didn't know if yet. "How have _I_ not noticed you before?" I asked myself. She was stunning. And here I'd always thought that she was just little Kim from down the road. There was nothing special about her. She was never one that drew attention to herself. Yet, in the midst of all the years, she'd grown up and become something that I couldn't have imagined. She looked away from me, unhappy with the comment that she wasn't meant to hear. "I didn't mean that the way it sounded, Kim," I said, trying desperately to repair any holes I could have caused.

"It's fine," she said with a little shrug. "If I wanted people to notice me, I would wear a cow suit and a bell." The words were little more than a breath, but I heard them clearly and couldn't help but laugh. She had a sense of humor. Who knew?

I decided to test the boundaries of propriety and slid a hand down her back, tugging her close enough to feel her chest against mine. "I always knew you were there, Kim." That was the truth. I had known that she was there; I just hadn't realized who she'd become while I was busy changing. "I'm just wondering when you became this." I just had to hope that I didn't offend her.

There was a pang of anger in her eyes and then she whispered, "I don't know. We should stop before people notice you." Me; not her. "It'll ruin your reputation, Jared. You don't want to be seen with someone like me." What was wrong with her? She was beautiful and kind hearted. Even if she hadn't become the gorgeous young woman that was hiding in front of me, she would always be the kind hearted girl that found me that day.

"You want to know the God's honest truth, Kim?" She just nodded. "I knew you were there. I remember when you were there for me after -"

"I remember." She had more gumption than I thought.

"I've been a dick lately," I said to spare her the memories. She flushed a deeper shade of red. "Since I got to middle school, I haven't been the guy I was."

"Jared, I don't know what you're talking about," she insisted. Had she really been so kind all these years that she didn't realize how terrible I was? The kind of man that I had become? We stood there, swaying back and forth and staring at each other. And then she pulled away. "I should get going."

I let her walk away, afraid of what would happen if I were to pull her back. She was so quiet, so meek. There was a endearing mousiness about her that made me want to protect her. I was just staring after her, watching her skirt sail behind her as she marched. She disappeared from view, so I went back to the blanket that Ryanne and I had claimed. Ryanne.

Kim was my imprint. And Ryanne, the conniving little minion, had set this up. I would have to remember to tell her how much I loved her. "Leave me alone, Tyler." Kim's whisper sounded a little distressed.

"Let's see just how grown up you are," Tyler said. I finally found her in the crowd. Tyler Redtree was trying to drag her closer while she was fighting to get free with more force than I thought she had.

"Let me go." I shoved through the crowd to where she was.

"Redtree!" I snapped. The little skunk's eyes snapped up to mine. Kim's shoulders sagged in relief as I neared. "I think Kim told you to let her go."

Before the asshole could say anything, I punched in the face, feeling his teeth cut into my knuckles. It would heal in moments. One punch just wasn't good enough. Kim had asked him to stop twice. That meant at least two good hits. And God only knew how many other girls he'd tried this with. It would only be fair that he be punished for those as well. So I hit him again, making sure the pull the punches so that I didn't do much damage.

"Jared!" The voice was quiet, but range with authority and made me stop what I was doing and turn to face Kim. "Stop; please." She looked on the verge of tears as she looked about the room. People were beginning to stare and see her, something that she clearly didn't like. "Please, let's just go for a walk." She was clearly begging just so she could get me out of the dance and away from Tyler. She was protecting the man who had only moments ago been forcing her to get closer to him. "Please."

She held out a hand to me; I don't think she intended for me to grab it. I took it and turned back to Tyler. "You should leave," I snarled. I then walked us out the doors of the dance and turned to her. "Where to?"


	6. Chapter V

**Author's Note: I know it's been a while. I'm so very sorry. I could give you guys my excuses about being sick and then not having my computer. But instead, I just want to apologize sincerely and give you another chapter. Enjoy!**

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**Chapter V**

I knew it wasn't the correct reaction. I should have let Jared continue to pummel the guy. But I was more afraid of the looks I was getting from people who had figured out that Jared was beating Tyler because of me. God knows how much I hate attention. This would undoubtedly get back to my mother through one of her cronies. Jared slipped his hand into mine, the friction sending a few untimely shivers down my spine. "You should leave," he said. I fought the desire to run and hide. Jared was only trying to protect me, after all. "Where to?"

Where to indeed. Where could I take him at this time of night? The beach would probably be crowded with dance-goers who wanted to get away and make out for a little while. I definitely didn't want Jared to think _that_ was the place that I wanted to go. "I'll show you," I said. I gently tried to disentangle my hand from his, but his fingers curled around mine a little tighter. I wasn't prepared for the feelings that were coursing through me. The heat of his palm soaked into my skin. There was a safety that I felt around him that I couldn't fight even if I wanted to. It was ridiculous, though. I had just watched him beat someone up without so much as a flinch. He was huge, a literal mountain of a man that was capable of doing so much harm. And all of those things weren't keeping me from wanting to curl up in his arms and let him hold me.

"You aren't afraid of the forest, I gather," he said as we marched deeper and deeper, taking a path that I had taken more times than I could count. Soon enough, the fencing would come into view. There was far too much excitement tonight. Just a walk through the barn, a quick stop to rub on Geronimo, and I would be calm enough to handle anything else that could come that night. "Where are we going?"

"Just follow me," I said. I looked down at the ground, ostensibly to avoid anything that I could trip on in my heels. But the reality was that I was actually avoiding looking at him while I said what I needed to. No need for him to see the blush that would be blooming on my cheeks. "Thank you for what you did in there, Jared." I bit my lip to keep my nerves from causing my lips to shake. "You didn't have to."

"Are you embarrassed, Miss Conwell?" There was laughter in his voice that made me a little aggravated, but I only sank my teeth deeper into my lip to control myself.

"I shouldn't have let Tyler get to me like that," I said. "Everyone knows what he's like." Jared frowned like I had said that I was considering starting drugs. I tried to avoid looking at him, but when I peeked at him through hooded eyes, I couldn't look away.

"Just because you know what he's like doesn't mean that you have to accept it," he said. "I didn't."

"I saw that," I muttered, managing to keep from adding something about the rest of the school seeing it as well. "We're just going to climb this fence." We were standing in front of it. While the gate went up to my sternum, it looked tiny next to Jared. He narrowed his eyes at me, but stuck his foot on the corral's piping and lifted himself over. I managed well until the ball of my foot slipped and sent me falling forward.

Jared wrapped his arms around me and steadied me, keeping me from hitting the ground. I lifted my hands to stop my fall, bracing one hand against his shoulder and the other against the solid wall of his chest. He looked down at me with eyes full of worry, but even after I was okay, he didn't let me down. He held me like I weighed no more than a pillow. As soon as we moved, though, he would probably realize that I was far heavier than anyone else that he'd ever carried. I squirmed a little, thinking to save him from that. "We wouldn't want you to fall and get hurt, Kim. Which way are we going?" I was a little too stunned to speak. I pointed off in the general direction of the barn. Jared took a steady step and kept me tight to his chest. How was I supposed to breathe when the woodsy scent of him was so close?

"You - - you can put me down here," I said when we reached the concrete walkway between the lines of stalls. Jared bent and lowered me back to the ground, but kept his hand on my waist like that I would fall over without him there with me. "Come with me. I'll, uh, I'll show you something." He nodded, but there was a twinkle in his eyes that said he was actually excited to be going somewhere with me. I grabbed hold of the hand that was on my waist, hoping to get it off of my body. That would make me calm down.

But the gentleness with which his large hand held smaller one made it impossible to get my brain started again. My heart, however, was clearly going strong and steady in my chest. Geronimo nickered in his stall and stuck his head out the window that was open for him. "Hi baby," I said, almost jogging in my shoes to get to the paddock.

This place was safe. This was where I would have control. Jared knew nothing about horses. I mean, as far as I knew of course. I smacked kisses at my horse and watched his gleaming black mane toss in the dim moonlight. "This is Geronimo," I said when we reached his stall. My oversized dog nuzzled the hand that I held up for him, looking for a treat. His large tongue came out and licked my palm, tasting to make sure that I hadn't been holding anything for him. "This is my horse."

"I didn't know you had a horse," he replied. His hand reached out, pausing like he would for a dog. It took my Geronimo a second's pause, but he bumped Jared's hand and let the large man behind me start petting his face. "He's sweet," he said. My lips twitched, pride in my big old pet swelling in my heart. He was the only one who actually understood me. "I'd like to see you ride some time."

This was my turf. This was my place. I could afford a little boldness here... A little. "What are you doing here with me, Jared?" I breathed. "You've known me for years and you've never noticed me before."

"I've noticed you."

"That day doesn't count. You were the only one that I could turn to and I was the only one who would understand," I interrupted before he could bring it up. "I meant why are you here right now? You went to the dance with Ryanne."

"I was just her escort because Jacob Black couldn't take her," he said. "But Jake showed up and then took her for a walk. They had some things they needed to talk about."

"But there are other girls that were dying for you to dance with them," I argued.

"I didn't want to dance with them."

"You didn't want to dance with me, either." I had seen it in his eyes when he thought that I wasn't paying attention. It's why I left. Ryanne had left me there to play matchmaker without thinking about the fact that it would only end in my embarrassment. We only had to look at what happened afterwards to see that. He frowned at me but I refused to let him speak. "I can get home from here. You could head back to the dance. I'm sure there is someone there who wants to dance with you."

"I'm not leaving you here," he balked. "And I want to dance with _you_, not with someone else." I shook my head. There was no reason for him to be lying to me. His fingers began scratching at my horse's forelock and suddenly, I found my hand trapped underneath his. "All I'm asking for is a chance, Kim. I know that I've been an asshole lately, but I'm, uh, I'm trying to figure that out."

"I'm glad that you're wanting to change, Jared," I replied, looking at our hands on my horse's head. Him changing didn't change the fact that I was still a forgotten page of his book.

"I always knew that you were there, Kim. You're kind of hard to forget." I swallowed the snort that threatened in my throat. I liked being a wallflower. I liked being forgotten. "Please, give me a chance to prove it."

"Prove what, Jared?" There was nothing for him to prove to me. He had to prove things to himself. He just smiled at me. "Look, Jared, I need to get home. I'll always be a friend if you need one." His smile widened like I had told him the winning numbers for the lottery. "Okay?"

"Sure." He shifted our hands so that they were twined together. "I'll take you home." Somehow, his Cheshire cat grin wasn't very reassuring.


	7. Chapter VI

**Author's Note: Here's another chapter for you all. I hope you guys enjoy! Just a little thank you to all those who have been setting up alerts and reviewing. It definitely makes it worth while to write when you know there are so many people out there reading and (hopefully) liking it.**

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**Chapter VI**

Monday morning came around. I was more than a little dizzy, but I had been for the last few mornings. I found myself kind of trapped in the memories of Jared and him holding me. It was so sweet, so gentle, so kind. It was almost impossible to focus on one simple task. I even found myself slightly distracted in simple things like driving. But I shook my head before I made the final turn into the school's parking lot. Being distracted by a boy who had more than likely forgotten about me wasn't a way to start the school day.

Jared Littlecreek was still straddling his bike, his helmet locked in some little cubbyhole underneath his seat. He cocked his head to the side, still looking away from me. And then, slowly, like in one of those movies, he stood up and turned to look at me. I pulled into my normal spot a few places down from where Jared was parked. What was he doing there? He normally parked up with the rest of his friends, where all the other _motorcycles _were parked. But no. He was standing at the driver's side door, holding it open.

"Good morning," he said brightly. I dipped my chin to avoid meeting his eyes. "Did you have a nice weekend?" Was he seriously going to try and make small talk? I nodded, propriety dictating that I answer him. "I'm glad to hear it. Come on." He stepped away from the truck and held his hand out for me. I could make it down just fine. I did it ever single day without his help. But I still slipped my hand into his and let him help me down to the ground. "We have all of our classes together, right?" I nodded, still looking away from him. I wanted to tell him that if he truly noticed me like he said he did, he would have known that. But I didn't.

I gently pulled my hand from his grip. "I have to stop at my locker," I muttered. "My bag -" I brought his attention to the bag, which was bulging and heavy with all my books. He pulled it out of my arms with a whispered apology. "I could have kept it."

"How have you been walking with this thing? It must weight fifty pounds," he said. "You should have said something earlier. I would have taken it." Earlier when? We had just gotten out of the car.

He didn't try to hold my hand again, but he did have my bag which forced me to keep close to him and follow as he marched him towards the locker area. "Right here, right?" he said, stopping precisely at my locker. I had to hand it to him; I wouldn't have noticed someone's locker. I just nodded instead and let him hold my bag out to me. I held a few books between my thighs and started shoving and pulling and making sure that I had the things that I needed for my morning classes.

Someone bumped into me from behind like they did every morning. I sprawled and put my hand out to balance me, but Jared's arm snaked around my waist did the job for me. "Klutz," someone coughed. Jared kept his hold on me while stooping down to gather my books. Embarrassment burned my cheeks. If I wasn't with Jared, it would have been fine. I didn't care what people had to say about me. And what had happened this morning was no different than any other morning. But someone being there to see it all made me completely mortified.

"Dude, what the fuck is your problem?" he demanded, shoving someone away from us. "You just dumb or are you blind?"

"Jared, calm down," I breathed. The last thing that I needed was for someone to notice that he was holding my bag...and me...and that he was yet again trying to defend me. "It's fine, Jared. Let's just go." I quickly shoved everything that I had left in my locker into my bag, noticing that it was way too much and probably weighed a ton. I was actually _glad_ that Jared was there to carry it for me. He was still glaring at the guy that ran into me, completely overreacting. I reached up and scratched his forearm lightly with my fingernails. His attention dropped back down to me and the angry expression that had been on his face disappeared. "Let's just get to class, okay?"

He nodded swiftly and captured my hand in his, repositioned my bag on his shoulder and marched away. "You don't have to let him do that, you know?" he said gruffly as we neared the class.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I replied, looking down at the ground and hoping that Jared wouldn't let me run into something. I could feel the people around me starting to realize that I was there, that I was standing with Jared.

"What's he doing with her? Do you even remember her name?" a few voices carried through. I blushed a little and tried to separate myself from him.

"Kim," he said. I had to stop. Could you keep walking if the one person that you had dreamt about for so long said your name out of the blue? I looked up at him, unsure what I was expecting to find, but satisfied with the worry that I found there. "You can speak up. You can tell them what you're thinking. People don't get to treat each other like shit." He squeezed my hand and smiled grimly. "We both know what can come of that."

I wanted to frame some reply, to say something in return. But I couldn't. Jared set my stuff down at my normal seat and took the place beside me. "This is normally empty," I commented. He frowned, like maybe I was telling him that he couldn't sit right there. "I - I - I mean you, you c-can sit there if you'd like. But normally people don't sit by me."

"Weird, right? You smell fantastic," he replied, leaning in and pressing his nose against my hair. I felt a shiver run down my spine. This wasn't right. He had danced with me one time at a dance. It would be over now. It _should_ be over now. Any moment, he would wake up from whatever daze he was in and realize that he didn't actually want me. "What are you doing after school?" he asked, pulling away from me. I breathed, my heart returning to its normal rhythm and my brain receiving its normal flow of oxygen once again.

"I, uh, I have to go and take care of my horse. Why?"

"Would you be interested in hanging out with me?" Yes! My heart was screaming at me to tell him that I would be more than happy to hang out with him. Jared had always been a dream. He was a fantasy that I had stuck up on a pedestal and left there. And now, suddenly, that vision wasn't hazy. He was a tangible thing that I could get to know. But for how long? "Just as friends, of course. You just want a friend."

"Right." I nodded, my eyes narrowing just a little bit while my mind was desperately trying to figure out what game he was playing.

"Okay, then it's settled."

"What's settled?" I asked. He bent down and retrieved paper and pens from his backpack as well as his homework. He was setting up his whole desk while I was just staring at him like a lump on a log.

"After school, I'll take you over to your horse for a little and then we'll head out to go and hang out," he explained with a nonchalant shrug of his shoulder.

"But it's a Monday," I replied. He just shrugged again. "There's homework to be done."

"We can study. It's not that big of a deal." He didn't seem to understand. My mother would take my horse from me if my homework wasn't done. She would take away the one thing that truly mattered to me in this world. "I promise not to bite," he said.

"I would assume so," I retorted without thinking. A grin broke out over his face and he laughed a little. "But I have to exercise my horse," I muttered. "It'll take a little while. He needs to be brushed down and then run around and then brushed down again. And I have to feed him. I don't want you to think that you can't go off and -"

He leaned down. Warm lips that were softer than anything that I could have imagined found my cheek with a smile. "I'm excited to see that beast run around." I balked.

"He's not a beast," I said a little louder than I meant to. A few faces close by turned to look at me.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I didn't mean to insult you. Kim, here at school, you're quiet and shy. I want to see you doing what you love. That's all." I bit my lip and glared at him. "Come on? As a friend, you're not going to show me your horse?" I suppose there couldn't be much harm in showing him. Everyone should be exposed to horses at some point in their lives. It would only be fair that I show him. So I nodded and bit my lip. And Jared?

Jared Littlecreek who shouldn't have noticed me just smiled at me


	8. Chapter VII

**Author's Note: Okay, please check my profile if you follow my other stories. My family suffered an unexpected loss in the last week and a half. While it's not something that has ****_greatly_**** effected me (It was a family member I don't really remember), I need to be here for my family. Enjoy!**

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**Chapter VII**

"You ready to go?" I jumped at the sound of his voice, dropping all the books that were carefully balanced in my hands. With speed and agility I wouldn't have accredited to such a large man, he caught them all. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. Stupid," he growled to himself.

"No, no, it's fine. I just wasn't expecting you," I said before he could continue to beat himself up. I was the one who had jumped. I had always been a little frightened of loud noises. He frowned at my words, like he was upset that I hadn't been expecting him to come and find me. I had just assumed that we were meeting at my car. "Did I say something wrong?"

"I just thought that we had made plans for after school," he replied. "You thought I was joking, didn't you?"  
"I didn't; I was just thinking that we would meet at my car," I explained. I felt like he was angry at me and I had the wildest desire to fix that. I did't want anyone angry at me, but there was something about _Jared_ being mad at me that hurt more than it should have.

"Why would we do that? We're taking my bike," he replied nonchalantly. My heart stopped.

"I can't," I muttered.

"Nothing is going to happen to you," he promised. "I know that there's a lot of bad stories about motorcycles and all that, but it's really the driver, Kim. I'm not going to let anything happen to you."

"It's not that I think you're a bad driver," I managed through the anxiety clawing at my throat. "I can't. Please. I'll let you drive my truck if it's that important to you. But please don't make me get on that thing." Jared had stepped close to me, closer than I had realized. I had lifted my hands to please with him and found them resting on his chest. His dark eyes searched mine before he nodded.

"Okay; if it's that important to you, I won't make you get on my bike with me." I sighed, the sudden rush of fear disappearing. I had heard promises about the safety of them before. And the last time, it had ended it pain for everyone. "Come on; let's get going." I could feel eyes of everyone else around me. I just wanted to crawl into a hole and die. "I'm excited to see how you manage an animal as big as yours," he added. His large, warm hand captured one of the ones I had laid on his chest and held it as we walked away.

The conversation the rest of the drive was small. Every once in a while, he would ask a question about my life. I had nothing to hide from him, especially not when the questions were as innocent as my favorite color. But the drive to the barn was short and once we were on my turf, I felt so much better. I was the authority between us here. "What made you get into all of this stuff?" he asked.

It wasn't a personal question. It gave no more details than the other ones that he'd asked. But somehow, this one was harder to answer. Could I tell him what my mother was like? How could I tell him what had happened since the incident? No. I could give him the generic answer, though. I could tell him the same thing that I told everyone who asked about my horse. "My mother started me in horseback riding lessons when I was little, English. But I decided that I wanted to switch things up. English was just too rigid for me. So I switched over." And when Mother found out that I was pretty good at it, "I started competing a few years later. That's when she bought me Geronimo. He's supposed to be my show horse."

I jumped down from the truck and rushed towards the stall, anxious to get to my horse. Jared stared after me; I could feel his eyes burning into my backside as I marched away with determination. I heard the car door slam behind me at the same time that I heard my horse whinnying. I told myself not to be rude and turn around. But I couldn't. I was always excited to be here, to be out of the chivalry devoid world that I lived in. "He's just down here," I said as I marched towards the back of the barn.

Geronimo stuck his whole head out his window and tossed his mane. He was more than ready to get out of the stall. It kind of made me laugh. People wouldn't know that he was let out for hours every single day. He had so much spirit and attitude to him that I was afraid to think of what would happen if I didn't let him out. So I threw the lock open and shoved the door aside, deftly grabbing his halter. He neighed again and lowered his head into the awaiting contraption. I locked it and the lead rope over my shoulder. I walked away, not bothering to make sure that the horse was really following me.

I walked him over to the cross ties that were waiting in my tack room, but I didn't bother to actually tie the horse down. Whenever the barn was empty, which it usually was on a Monday afternoon, I left my horse untied. He wasn't going anywhere.

... At least, he wasn't until Jared walked up behind him.

Startled by the sounds the giant man made, my horse jumped and snorted. "Oh, knock it off you big baby," I scolded. I smacked his shoulder muscle enough to get his attention again. "He's fine, Jared," I added a little quieter. "Just don't run up on him."

Jared's back was flat against one of the walls as he slid along to where I was standing with my brushes. "He's a lot bigger than I thought he would be," he said. I could hear the panic in his voice, but I chose not to address it. "And he actually listens to you?" I nodded and stepped forward with a body brush in hand. Working more off of instinct than anything else, I kept my eyes on Jared while I brushed the shavings and debris from his back. "How in God's green Earth did you pick a horse like him?"

"I didn't necessarily _pick_ him," I began slowly. Geronimo turned his giant head to stare at me, like he was chastising me for my statement. "My mother wanted me to have a well-bred papered horse. After some research, she brought me out to a ranch. They had horses that my mother approved of and I got the pick. Geronimo was only a few weeks old and he was already running around and being silly. I liked him." He had the spunk that I knew that I _could_ have, but kept deep down within me. "I was happy with his attitude and personality. I picked him then and we took him home a year later. I haven't looked back since."

My horse pawed the ground in a show of his approval. I heard Jared suck in a tight breath when I stooped down to grab hold of his tea-saucer sized feet and pick the dirt from them. From there, it was just habit. I threw the saddle pad high on his pack and turned around for my saddle. Jared, however, already had it in his hands, lifting it and lowering it slowly like he was testing the weight. "You carry this thing every day?" he asked me. I just nodded. Taking advantage of the fact that he was holding it, I grabbed the cinch and the accompany rear cinch and threw them over the roughed out leather seat.

I gripped the pommel of the saddle and the skirt and lifted it. I wasn't going to lie; it was heavy. But I'd been lifting the thing, all fifty pounds of it, since my mother purchased it for me when I was fourteen. "How much does that thing weigh?" He didn't seem at all strained after holding it for a while. I waited until I had swung my saddle up onto my horse's withers and flopped the cinches, breast color, and stirrup down to answer him. "So you lift that every day?" Again, I remained silent, but gave him a small jerk of my head in response.

I pulled my sweater from my body, leaving me in only a tank top and turned around to see Jared staring. Ducking my head, I quickly busied myself with removing the halter and pulling the bit into his mouth. Like many other people, Jared muttered, "Doesn't that hurt him?" I shook my head instead and pulled Geronimo's reins along with me. "You're not really going to get on him are you?" he asked. I couldn't help but laugh at that.

When I opened my eyes, I found Jared smiling at me like I had just given him the key to the world. "What _else_ are you supposed to do with the horse?" I asked. But even as I asked the question, I could feel my cheek flaming and the plan formulating in my brain. I was only so good at so much. There would be no harm in showing off a little.


	9. Chapter VIII

**Author's Note: I'm trying to get this story caught up (in number of chapters) to ****_Falling With Style_****. It's just a little quirk. I'm weird that way. So, here's another chapter! Enjoy!**

**Chapter VIII:****_ Jared's Point of View_**

Emily and Sam were the very first couple to imprint. By his own admission, Sam had been looking at Emily way before he imprint at her. But he knew that he loved Leah. Then Jake imprinted on Ryanne. He'd said that he always thought that Ryanne was beautiful and kind and gentle. I'd be lying if I said that I hadn't thought about how kind Kim was. From the looks of things, not much had changed. She still had a heart as soft as a feather pillow. She was so sweet it almost hurt.

And then I got to see her around her horse.

From the moment that she pulled him out of his cage, it was like a completely different side of her. There was no hesitation to her motions. There was no shyness in her eyes. And he was _huge_. The animal's back was almost taller than her, yet she commanded him like he was a puppy. To my shock, the beast actually listened to her. I just stared after her, my brain recognizing that she had disappeared into a room off the side of the hallway, but my body not taking any action.

This was where I was going to have to take her to get her out of her shell. Meek, mousey Kim had disappeared here. In her place, was this confident, happier version of her. I wanted to see this side of her all the time. If that meant that I was going to have to be here, at this barn every day of my life, I would. I would be here with her, watching her, helping her, talking to her. Hell, I would even learn how to ride a horse.

As the words hit my brain, I realized that was the way to go. That was the way to show her that I was serious about wanting to get to know her. I wanted a relationship with her, like Sam had with Emily. I marched to the open doorway that I had seen her go into, intending on learning as much as I could in this one afternoon with her. But my thundering footsteps made her horse jump, his large, muscular body jumping into the air and landing barely a foot away from her. My heart dropped.

The sound of a slap echoed in the air. "Oh, knock it off you big baby." I couldn't believe that timid Kimmie had said it. Or that she had actually _hit_ something. "He's fine, Jared," she called, peaking over the horse's back at me. But I noticed the way her voice dipped when she talked to me. "Just don't run up on him." I had no intention of doing anything like that again. No, I pressed my back flat against a wall and marched to where she was standing. With her back turned to the monster, she was bent over and completely vulnerable. And yet, she showed no sign of fear. She acted like she did this every day and never expected to come to harm.

I tried to make idle conversation, not sure how it would be received. She replied, her quiet voice ringing in my ears. I wasn't sure that I had ever heard her speak so much in all the years that I had known her. Of course, all thoughts of the beauty of her voice and simplicity of her statements was knocked out of me when I saw her pick up the horse's large foot. All he would have to do is flinch a little and he would hit her square in the face. With practiced ease, though, Kim rested the hoof against her thigh and dug into it with some metal tool.

I watched her do the first two before I decided that she was safe. I turned my attention to the other things around me, looking at a well worn saddle tat was sitting on a peg jutted out from the wall. I grabbed it up in my arms, surprised when I felt a real weight in my hands. Kim wasn't exactly petite, but she was so much smaller than me. It was hard to imagine her, so feminine and cute, grabbing the heavy leather and putting it onto her horse.

Moments later, after a few not-so-quiet comments from me, that was exactly what she did. Like everything else that she had done in the brief ten minutes that we had been there, there was a certain habitualness that exuded from her movements. And then she tugged the zip-up jacket from her shoulders and laid it aside. Muscles that I didn't know she had bulged in her arms. There was nothing obnoxious about them, just a toned beauty that showed me _how_ she had managed to lift that saddle. She tossed the jacket aside and turned her attention back to her horse. She pulled and tugged and lifted, finally gripping the saddle, slipping her foot into a stirrup and hoisting herself up. Even that showed how often she was out at the barn. She leaned herself forward to avoid collision with one of the rafters.

I suppose she must have commanded him to move, but I hadn't seen any motion on her part. She stopped in the hallway and looked back at me. Our eyes met for a brief moment, but she quickly ducked her head. "I have to exercise him for an hour, maybe two if he's rowdy. If you want to get something to do -"

"I want to watch," I cut off. She nodded and drew her arm in front of her in a gesture that told me to walk. I marched out in front of her, shocked when I saw her bend at the waist, grab hold of one of the pipes that served as a handle, and pull it shut. The horse didn't flinch, didn't shy away. No, he just stood there and waited for her next command. "Where to?" She pointed down to the end of the hall, where a wooden sign sat prominent. _Indoor Arena_, with an arrow underneath it.

The horse's hooves and metal shoes clanged with each step he took. I flinched a little at the beginning, the sound reverberating in my ears. But it quickly became music, a rhythm that pounded in my brain, until we were walking on dirt. Like she had with the door, Kim pressed her horse a few inches away from the gate, stooped at the waist, and managed to open the gate. Of course, that wasn't all she could do. Without letting _go_ of the gate, she commanded her horse to turn around and walk up to the gate. I watched his front feet cross in a way I didn't know that horse's legs could. "I could have gotten the gate for you," I said when she sat up straight again.

Her cheeks flamed and she ducked her head, the mousey side of her coming forward again. "I don't normally have people out here with me," she muttered. I'm not sure if I would have heard it if I didn't have the hearing of a wolf. The words, however, flayed my heart. Hadn't she said that her mother bought her the horse? Wouldn't a woman who invested any money in a horse want to come and see her daughter ride? Kim had a heart of gold, the sweetness of a cupcake. Surely her mother came around and spent time to her. Right?

"Well, I'm here so I'll get whatever you need," I said. She nodded, her cheeks still bright red, and gently urged the horse around. With her back to me, she sat up straighter again. When she made the turn that the rounded arena corners urged, I saw that she had her leather reins dropped on the part of her saddle that was sticking up. Her phone was held up in front of her, the screen illuminating her face.

"All right, baby, let's get going. We don't want Jared to have to wait forever, huh?" I smiled at her, thinking about just how considerate she was being. If she only knew that I was enthralled to see her in her element. She stood up a little, bracing her weight in the stirrups and shoving her phone into her front pocket.

And then, like a bullet exploding from a gun, she and the horse were off. Her straight her flew behind her, even in its ponytail. The horse kept going, his head pumping as he gathered up momentum. In flurry of dust, the horse sat back on his haunches, almost like a dog. The dust cleared and left Kim and the horse standing there. He jumped around in a swirl, a single motion. He spun like a dancer, raising up on his back feet and slamming down in the dirt. They took off again, running around and around and sliding to a stop.

They slowed down to a bouncing gait, repeating the same routine. When they got down to a walk, Kim pulled her phone out again. "Hey Kim!" a man drawled from behind me. I turned around to see a man that looked like he could be from Texas standing there. "Your mom called."

Kim dashed to the gate and put her brakes on. "Hey Tex," she called back. Naturally the man was called Tex. "Does it surprise you?" They shared a laugh that I didn't understand. "Do you think you could bring out a cow? Geronimo is getting a little lazy." _That _was lazy?

"Sure thing, sweetie." He reached around and grabbed what I assumed was a cattle prod from a little cabinet. Kim was running around again, a glow of joy ringing around her face. I wanted to be the one to do that for her. I wanted her to be that happy because of something that _I_ did. "You're in for a treat kid. Kim's one of the best teen riders this side of the Mississippi," he replied. "Settle in for the ride."


	10. Chapter IX

**Author's Note: There! I'm now caught up on this story like I should be. I hope you all enjoy tonight's chapter. Love & Thanks!**

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**Chapter IX**

I knew that I was lying when I said that Geronimo was getting lazy. It was true that he hadn't had much of a _real_ workout in the last week or so. We'd been mostly doing endurance stuff, which meant that it took an hour or two of work before he was sufficiently tired. But the real reason that I had wanted a cow brought in was the show off. It was stupid, I knew. I just wanted Jared Littlecreek to see that I was actually good at something. Something other than school, that is. And Tex just happened to provide the greatest excuse.

The black cow was let in through a small door on the side of the arena, attached to the pen that held the dozen or so head of cattle Tex and his wife owned. The scared beast came sprinting in, immediately looking around for something to hide behind, somewhere to go, a way to get back to his herd. Geronimo immediately bent his head in a show position, his nose folding towards his chest. I decided to treat the situation like a real show. I walked the horse to the gate, taking care to keep my horse's attention on me instead of the cow. Most people think that it's the rider that tells the horse what to do but the truth is that horses are born with a "cow sense." Some are more inclined to work cattle than others.

I trotted slowly to the center and lightly gathered up my reins, urging my paint to a slow lope. Making sure his head stayed bent, I gained speed for two circles. When I hit the center of the arena, where I had begun my circles, I tapped his side lightly and urged him to switch sides and continue circles on the other side. I repeated the circles and lead change, enjoying the little hiccup in Geronimo's step that told me he had listened. But instead of making another eight, I loped around the arena before sprinting faster than I had all day to the center.

I made a good sliding stop, watching the dirt fly up around me. Geronimo backed immediately, a habit that the trainer had engrained in him. I gave him a moment to breathe before urging him to into a spin. Much like a top, he planted one back foot and crossed her front feet, speeding around. Content with the performance, I let my horse take a nice even breath and calm down a little. Only then did I turn my attention to the bovine in the arena.

While Geronimo kept his head at show stature, his eyes and ears followed the cow. Out of habit, the cow attempted to get away from us. But I made sure to keep my horse in the proper position and jump around and cut the animal off. I waited until I had kept the cow boxed off long enough to give some slack. Finally, the cow decided to do what all cows do. It took off sprinting towards the other side of the arena. Geronimo waited for the signal and then made a mad dash for the animal as well. I forced the cow to stay along the fence, making it switch sides three times.

I neared one of the corner arena. I was practically glowing with pride. I was happy that I had performed as well as I had. Geronimo had been perfect, especially since he hadn't been working cows as consistently since show season had weened. But as soon as my prideful thoughts entered my brain, Geronimo slid to an unexpected stop, twirled around and bucked. Distracted by the idea of impressing Jared and the next movements that I needed to make for Geronimo, I found myself hurtling through the air and landing on the soft dirt. Of course, it didn't feel so soft at the moment.

"Kim!" I heard the distant cry through the ringing in my ears. Geronimo had run off to the other side of the arena, away from whatever had spooked him. He wasn't a spooky horse, normally. It took a lot to get him freaked out. As if answering my unasked question about what had spooked him, a rattle started off to my side. Washington only had one species of venomous snake that was native to the area. La Push and Forks area didn't seen many of them, but we could get our fair share. That would explain why my horse who had jumped and bucked. He wanted away from the small animal that could end his life. And mine.

I had landed flat on my back and lost all my wind in that moment. Self preservation kicked in, though I tried to roll myself away from impending doom. I had only managed one painful, breathless rotation before warm, callused hands wrapped around my wrist and hauled me away. I cried out in pain, realizing that I must have hit my shoulder and my head. "Kim, are you okay?" Jared's frantic voice managed to get through the fog and remind what I was doing. "Hey, can you hear me?"

"I'm fine," I pushed through my dry throat. "Tex, snake." Tex nodded, already marching away with a flat nosed shovel. "I'm fine; promise." I shoved myself up and pulled my hairband from my hair. With a shaking hand and a body that was falling off balance, I leaned over and let the dirt shower from my hair. "Come here, Geronimo," I called. The horse took a cautious step, knowing that he had to listen to me but still afraid of the snake. "Come." Like a dog, he hug his huge low and trudged forward.

"What are you doing?" Jared demanded when I grabbed the reins and the pommel again. I lifted my foot to the stirrup, but Jared gripped my shoulders and pulled me down. "Kim, what do you think you're doing? You just got thrown from that _thing_."

"He got spooked because of a rattlesnake and I lost my balance," I argued. "Haven't you ever heard the saying 'get back in the saddle'?" I tried to grab the pommel again, but Jared held me firm. "Nothing is going to happen. It's not the first time that I've fallen and it won't be the last." He glared at me.

"Rattler just came to warm himself from the cold," Tex said, the body of a snake hanging from one hand, the shovel in the other. "You good sweetie?"

"I'm fine, Tex. Just lost my balance. We'll just put the cow away and leave it at that. I'll cool him down a little," I said, patting Geronimo's neck.

"Kim -"

"It's fine, Jared," I said. I blushed as soon as the words left my mouth. I hadn't meant to be stern and forceful, but I knew what to do when it came to horses. I'd been riding for more than ten years now. There weren't many _adults_ that had that claim. So I grabbed hold of the pommel and the reins again, placing my foot in the stirrup and hoisting myself up. "Nothing is going to happen."

I had been right. I loped around and finished an easy workout without a single incident. Jared held the gate open for me when I was finally leaving the arena, worry lines still creasing his forehead. Deciding that he hadn't been too mad when I snapped at him, I reached down and brushed a filthy finger over his forehead. He looked up to me, obviously startled by the movement. "If you keep that frown up, your face will get stuck like that," I muttered. I liked his face way too much to be the reason for that to happen.

The words brought a bright smile to his face and I couldn't help but smile back. "I'm sorry that you had to see me fall," I whispered when I had dismounted in the tack room. Geronimo stood, patiently waiting for his food to appear. "It, uh, it normally... _I'm_ normally a much better rider than that."

"No, Kim," he replied brusquely. He stepped closer, closer to me than I would have been okay with normally. I decided that my brain had been addled by the fall. That was why I was so okay with him being right there in front of me. "You were _amazing_. I don't think I've ever seen anything as incredible as you riding. You and that horse - - you guys have an understanding. It's incredible to watch. I wasn't thinking that you weren't a good rider or anything. You just scared the shit out of me. You should have seen your head flop on that dirt. I thought you were going to lose consciousness."

"I'm fine," I replied quickly. I wasn't really sure how true of a statement it was, but it was what I was going to say for the next little while.

"I'm really glad that you took me down here to see this," he said. Before I knew what he was doing, his fingers came up to my face and gently brushed a loose strand of hair from my eyes.

"I am too," I whispered. The problem was that I really _was_ glad that he had come. Soon enough, he would figure out what my mother was always saying about me and then all of this would just be salt on the wounds.

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**To the guest that caught my mistake, thank you! I meant to write paint and my brain just malfunctioned. Sorry about that!**


	11. Chapter X

**Author's Note: I just wanted to let everyone know a few things before we get started here. First off, my pen name will be changing. I'll explain more about that in the next couple of days (but believe me it's for your benefit). Secondly, ****_Merher_****, I wanted to thank you for catching my mistake last night. I hadn't meant to put that. It was a terrible typo. Finally, I hope you all enjoy! Love & Thanks!**

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**Chapter X**

School was out for spring break. Jared had insisted on seeing me home after I took him out to the barn. Something about my head being injured because of my fall. I chose to believe that excuse instead of analyze what he was really saying. The problem was that I'd woken the next morning to find Jared standing outside my door. "Are you heading down to your horse?" he asked immediately. I nodded, biting my tongue to keep from telling him that there were politer ways to start conversations. "I thought maybe I could take you," he said then. I frowned. Wasn't he going to give up? "I brought my mom's car, not my bike."

"Jared -"

"Why don't you just give me a chance, Kim? I'm not as bad as you might think," he argued.

"I don't think you're bad," I whispered. "I just think that you're going to get tired of me." I could feel my cheeks flaming and knew that I was being far too bold. "I'm not the kind of girl that you're looking for, Jared. You should be with Catherine or one of the cheerleading twins." I couldn't quite remember their names. But they were who Jared should be with; not me.

"Tell me why I wouldn't want to be with you?" The question took me aback a little. I blinked a few times and stepped out onto our little front porch, pulling the door closed behind me. The last thing that I needed was for Callahan to see this. "Please Kim. Give me one good question."

"I smell like horse most hours of the day. I avoid my house when my mother's home. I will actually sleep at the barn before I will come home. I do my homework while sitting in the piles of clean shavings. I'm not popular. I'm not going to _be_ popular. I don't want it," I said. He valued popularity. But I had seen what those people had done; what they were capable of. "You like that kind of stuff."

Jared was quiet for a long time. It seemed like an eternity, actually. And then he held his hand out to me, offering for me to take it. I had done the same for him after the dance, but somehow this seemed different; this seemed more intimate. "Please?" How could I say no when he was looking at me and actually _seeing_ me? I slid my hand into his and let him pull me along the path that led to the beach. The heels of my boots were sinking in the sand. I wanted nothing more than to take them off and roll up my pants. But Jared would get bored and I could leave soon enough. "We never really talked about what happened."

"I don't think that we need to," I said, trying to keep my head down so that he wouldn't see my eyes fill with tears. It was an almost immediate reaction. "We both know what happened."

"Kim, I'm sorry about what they did to her," he whispered.

"That's still talking about it." He chuckled wryly. "She, um," I took a deep breath to keep myself from losing my mind, "she did it to herself, Jared. They both did." He frowned a little. I thought, for a moment that I had angered him. But the look in his eyes said that it was something he could understand; he just didn't want to hear it. "Besides, why would we need to dredge up all those memories?"

"Because I want you to understand why I became such a dick."

"Jared -"

"No; I saw how it effected them. That's why I became such an asshole. They were glad to do their own thing and it landed them on the outs. And then everything happened and they were just - - gone. I saw what it did to them and I didn't want it to be like that for me. I didn't want people to associate me with either one of them."

"They were our sisters, Jared. People are always going to associate us with them," I whispered. It was like it was being repeated in front of my eyes, though. "I think it was different for Katie than it was for your sister. She, uh," I cleared my throat, "she called me to ask me to come and get her. I was still you, but I knew how to drive. My mom had taught me in case of an emergency. But I'd never driven all the to Port Angeles, you know? I didn't even have a license or anything." He smiled at me reassuringly. "I snuck out of the house with the keys and everything. I just wanted to get her."

Jared had pulled me to a stop. "Why don't we sit up here for a little while," he suggested. After I nodded, his hands fitted themselves to my waist and lifted me to the rock before he scrambled to my side. "I didn't mean to interrupt. I just figured it wasn't comfortable to clomp around in those heavy boots in the sand."

"It's fine; thank you." I drew my knees up to my chest, wishing that we were at the barn. The beach was beautiful, but it was far from comfortable for me. The wind would whip my hair around and send chills down my spine. I didn't want to be here, in the cold, telling about the night that made my blood run cold. "How did your sister... How did it happen?"

"Kind of like what you were saying." I could see disappointment in his eyes, like he really wanted me to finish telling my story. "Amy wanted to go to this party in Port Angeles with some of her friends. Mom and Dad had figured that they would take her up to the party, spend the night in Seattle and then get her in the morning on the way home. I was almost fifteen, well beyond old enough to stay home alone. I was enjoying the fact that I was home alone, staying up late, drinking more soda than normal, watching TV. You know, all the normal stuff." I nodded, although it wasn't normal to me. I had been on my own since I was a kid. It was just me and Katie. Of course, after the incident it was just me.

"Amy called the house, hoping to get a hold of Mom and Dad. I cold tell that she was drunk off her ass, but I didn't know what to do about it. I called my parents a couple of times, but I couldn't get a hold of them. I guess, thinking back now, that's probably why she called the house. I knew how to ride a dirt bike though. So I got on and I rode into town. I guess I'm just lucky I didn't get pulled over. There wasn't a single cop out there. Anyways, when I got to the house that Amy was at, I couldn't find her. I started calling out and asking around, but I couldn't see her anywhere. When I finally did get to her, she naked, lying down on a bed. She was covered in scratches and blood and - - You probably don't want to hear all of this."

It wasn't so different from how I had found Katie that night. "I should get going, get to the barn," I said, standing.

"Let me take you. I really want to talk about this."

"Why?"

"Because we've never talked about it." I had found Katie naked and bleeding, complaining about pain and her head. I took her to the hospital immediately. "They never caught the man who raped Amy." They never found the man who raped Katie either. That wasn't the end of it, though. "I felt like I was just starting to get my sister back at the time of the incident." I knew that feeling. "Kim, I never thanked you for being there after it happened." _He_ was thanking _me?_ When our sisters had finally gotten back to school, the rumors that were swirling were... They were heinous and twisted. People said such lies about the girls, about what happened.

Katie had come home after a few days back at school with condoms from the Christian club. The pompous assholes had left her a note about God's desire for a girl to marry first. Instead of being victims, our sisters were seen as sluts. Guys from the football teams would come up to them and say...the most unimaginable things. And then the incident happened. I know that they were just trying to find an escape, but it was their senior year. "They had so much life left," I whispered. He nodded.

I felt my eyes welling up with tears at the memories. I was only a freshman, walking into the bathroom to avoid being in math any longer than necessary. And there they were, swinging from their own shoelaces. The right reaction would have been to scream and call for help. But both of their faces were ghostly pale. They were dead. I wouldn't matter how loud I screamed; they were gone. I'd rushed out of the bathroom and sat in the hallway crying until a wood shop teacher found me.

And so did Jared. They explained it to him, briefly and much to the anger of his parents. I watched him crack and shatter as he realized that he hadn't saved his older sister. Neither one of us had. The majority of the next week was spent wrapped in each other's arms. Who else was going to understand what had happened? Who else was going to understand what it felt like? "I never thanked you, Kim. I should have but I didn't even think about it. I was wrapped up in myself."

"So was I," I admitted. He'd been there for me at the same time.

"I avoided being anything but popular because of that. Katie and Amy were such good friends; they didn't care about everyone else. And you and I, we took the exact opposite paths. I wanted to become the most popular guy. You just disappeared into the background." I nodded. That was exactly what I wanted to do. I never wanted to be noticed again. "I think you were the one who had the right idea, Kim. Disappearing from the crowd and becoming you... I wish that I had done that."

I could have told him all the reasons behind it all, my mother, the competitions, the trainers. But I didn't. There had been enough confessions for one night. If I had been there faster, maybe I could have stopped my sister from being raped. "I want to be a better man, Kim. And I know that you're the kind of person that can help me with that. So I'm literally _begging _you to go out with me."

"We had to talk about the incident for a date?" I asked, unable to believe the incredulity in my voice.

"No; we had to talk about it because the two of us would explode otherwise," he said. "But I do want a date. Please; just give me a chance. You won't be disappointed."

My brain told me that I was going to be a thing of the past once he was finished reminiscing about the incident. But it was my heart that won out, screaming that I was in for a heartache anyways so I might as well get the best trade for it. "Yes; I'll go out with you."


	12. Chapter XI

**Author's Note: I know, new pen name! I promise that it will all make sense in the next couple of weeks. It's a big surprise that I'm hoping you all will go along with! I'm really sorry that I haven't updated in a while. The good news is that I'm no longer living with my cousin's husband. For those who don't know, she recently passed away. I was staying with her husband to help him take care of his children while they all recovered from this shock. But I'm back at home now so we should be getting back to our daily update. Enjoy!**

**Chapter XI**

Jared had asked for a few days to get things together for our date. It was probably for the best, because God knows that I wasn't sure what I was going to wear. I didn't even know what I was going to do. He just said that it was going to be casual and fun, something that would be enjoyed by both of us. I suppose that I could use a little joy. We had talked about the incident, after all. For us, it was like speaking Voldemort's name. It was something that we simply didn't do anymore. Not since the funeral. Of course, talking about them hadn't helped me decide what I was wearing on this date.

By the time the day arrived for us to go out, I was standing in front of my meager closet actually contemplating missing my mother. She would know what it was that I needed to wear to look my best. Then, as swiftly as I'd thought it was a good idea, it was a _terrible_ idea. She would ask to meet Jared. She would point out every flaw that I possessed. She would ruin any hope of a relationship that I could hope to have with him, even if it was fleeting. So, instead, I pulled my favorite sea foam green tank top over my head. The lace was a special touch that I saved for what I deemed 'special occasions'. Instead of my regular bootcut jeans, I pulled on a pair dark-wash skinny jeans. I knew that I wasn't the thinnest person in the world, but I knew that years of horseback riding had toned my legs. They were one of my few_ good_ body parts. A grey knit cardigan and a loose braid instead of my pony completed the look. Save footwear.

I didn't bother with makeup. I knew that I should because this _was_ a date, but I felt that it was only fair the boy knew what he was getting. Even if he only got it for a short time; I wasn't going to change myself for anyone or anything. I wouldn't let my mother alter me; I wasn't going to let some guy that I'd been in love with for years do so either. Because _that_ made sense. Me and my stubborn ways.

I stared down at my choices of shoes. My boots were clean, having been dusted a few days after my little spill. Clean might be an overstatement. They were dusty, but not covered in muck. Next to them were a pair of a designer, high heeled booties. The one would be more appropriate for a date. The others would be me. Since I had already made the pledge to stay true to myself...

I grabbed hold of the tabs on either side of my boot shank and shoved my foot in. It was routine, welcome, and comfortable. I had never been on a real date before, but I knew myself well enough to be sure that my shyness would get in the way. It'd be best if I was comfortable in my own skin. At least I would have that going for me when I would want to swallow my own tongue and crawl in a hole to escape Jared's teasing. He would eventually succumb to that. He would eventually tease me, just like all the others. He would tire of me and it would be over. I just had to wait for it to happen and be prepared to deal with the pain when it did.

The doorbell rang, causing me to jump and nervously pull my braid over my shoulder. The pieces that were loose were driving me crazy. I just wanted them out of my face, but if I wasn't going to impress Jared with my face or my clothes, I figured I should at least use my hair. Mrs. Callahan marched to the door, her venomous tone making me flinch. "She is to be in this house no later than eleven thirty," she said, her British accent reverberating off the walls of our too-large house. Why, oh why, did Jared have to pick me up there?

I wasn't the girl that was reflected in this house. My mother was so high maintenance. She wanted the newest things, the prettiest jewels, the most expensive clothing. In the summer, when she left, I would donate most of my designer clothing. Then I would head down to Old Navy and buy pants and tank tops and camisoles. I was a simple person. I didn't need a big house. I didn't need granite counters and spotless linoleum floors. I wanted a rustic little house with property behind it. I wanted to keep Geronimo until his muzzle was grey, to teach my babies how to ride on the old boy. I wanted a family; a _real_ family. And I didn't need all the hullaballoo that came with the one that I had.

"Yes, ma'am," Jared replied. I could already tell that he was staring at the entry of the house. He was undoubtedly taking in my mother's antique furnishing that weren't even allowed to be touched. My house was to look like something out of a magazine, not something that people lived in. I was pretty sure that my room was the only one that actually looked lived in. "I'm be sure to have her home on time, ma'am." Well, at least he had manners. That would be the surefire way to win Callahan over. That and one of his signature smiles.

"Kimberley," her shrill voice called out. I cringed and stepped forward. The light finally hit me as I stepped into the entryway. Jared's eyes lit up and slid over my body. I was already wishing that I had put some makeup on. This _was_ supposed to be a date, after all. "There's a young man here to see you, Kimberley."

"Yes, Mrs. Callahan," I replied woodenly. "I'll be back before curfew." I'd never broken curfew before; there was no reason to now. "We'll be safe." She leaned down and kissed my cheek as she had since I was young. Most little girls in my situation would have clung to the housekeeper that acted as her mother. But I had clung to my sister, made her the mother figure in my life. I hadn't known what to do when she died. Still, Callahan tried; it wasn't her fault that I wasn't receptive. "You ready to go, Jared?"

His eyes had left my face. I swallowed hard, waiting for him to say that he wanted me to change, that I wasn't dressed correctly. Once again, he surprised me by nodding and letting me step out onto the porch with him. Callahan watched us like a hawk until we were at the car. I heard the front door close. When I turned back, however, the old buzzard was in the living room, pushing aside my mother's drapes to look out the front window. "She's going to watch us until she can't see us anymore, huh?" he asked, following me around to the passenger side of the car.

"It's a British thing," I teased. He smiled and laughed, still staring at me. "Or a Callahan thing; I couldn't tell you either way. My mother brought her over because she was the best of the best." Jared's eyes narrowed as he stared at me. I bit my lip and ducked my head, instantly regretting my loose tongue. I knew better than to speak poorly of people. Callahan was overbearing and it was part of her nature, but she did it out of care.

Jared jogged around to the driver's side of the car, giving me a chance to take in his jeans and tight blue-violet t-shirt. Indeed, the seams along his shoulders looked like they were straining to keep themselves together. "If you don't mind me asking, Jared," I began, knowing that I needed to remember my manners, "where are we going?" I kept my chin to my chest, hoping that I could salvage the date that was only just beginning. Leave it to me to screw things up with a little poorly placed attitude.

"I don't believe I got a chance to tell you that you look absolutely beautiful tonight," he replied. My heart stuttered, my chin jerking up to look him in the eyes. There was no teasing, no glint of laughter. In fact, there was a depth to his emotions that said that he meant this for more than just one short date. "I truly haven't seen anything as stunning as you before." I blushed and managed to stammer a thank you in response. "I probably should have brought Ms. Callahan some flowers."

"She'd still be prickly," I muttered. Jared chuckled. "That was rude of me; I'm sorry."

"You don't need to apologize to me for speaking your mind, Kim. I like hearing the things that go on in your head," he said.

"There's not much there," I promised.

"I don't believe you." His dark eyes dug into my soul, daring me to say anything to the contrary.

I looked down and away from him. "So where are we going?" I repeated.

He chuckled, although the sound was slightly tense. "You'll just have to wait and see."


	13. Chapter XII

**Author's Note: Okay, I know it's been forever, but life just never seems to slow down. This weekend will be touch and go because of my move. The good news is that next week, I will have an entire week free from work and school. Hopefully, I will be able to bum around my apartment and write all day! Enjoy!**

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**Chapter XII**

Jared drove through town to northeast, where the forest grew dense and hard to navigate. We suddenly reached a little alcove, a clearing of trees that I had never seen before. Horse hoof-prints winked at me from the dirt path that I was used to taking, but I had never seen the empty little field. Wild flowers dotted the grass, the entire seen completely tranquil. It would be a great place to set up some kind of bench or table for people out trail riding to eat their lunches. There were plenty of good trees to die horses to, if they wouldn't ground tie.

Jared just drove straight through the clearing until he could pull off to the side of it. "Stay," he commanded. He opened the car door and slammed it shut, the entire frame of the vehicle quivering. I heard the shell of the truck getting popped off and laid aside like it was nothing more than paper maché. I sat back, staring up at the dark ceiling of his truck and singing little nothings in my head. Suddenly, the passenger door was opened and I found Jared's hand in front of my face. I stripped myself of my seatbelt and took it, letting him help me from the truck.

Then I turned.

The clearing was surrounded by little paper lanterns that through pastel shades of color over the grass and trees. The bed of the truck had been lined with a thick wool blanket. Several others were hanging over the sides of the car, matching the cushions that were placed against the cab of the truck. Electric candles flickered around the perimeter, lighting the inside and showing the spread of food. It was nothing none too girly, enough that it would still feed him well, but small enough to still appear dainty. "I thought that maybe we could - - you know eat dinner and play a couple of games," he explained.

"How did you find this place?" I asked him, still looking around at the general splendor of it all.

"I, um, I was talking to Tex down at your barn and he told me where I could find it," he replied, although I noticed a slight red tinge to his skin. He was embarrassed about something and I didn't get to know what it was. I frowned, wishing that I could ask him. The problem was that we didn't know each other well enough for me to be able to ask him. "You like ham and cheese, right? I mean it's grilled. But I'm not a very good took and -"

"It's great," I whispered. It was almost ironic. When Callahan wasn't around, grilled ham and cheese was my go to dish. It was the only thing that I had learned how to cook. "My dad taught me to cook this," I admitted. I crawled up to the cushions, feeling like I should hang my filthy boots over the edge to keep his blankets from getting dirty.

"Mine did to," he laughed. He sat against the same cushion, hesitated for a few moments, and then drew my feet into his lap. I felt my cheeks burn with surprise from his actions. He rested his hand on my knee, letting his warmth filter through my jeans. "I'm not good at cooking much else." I shook my head, sure that Jared Littlecreek could excel at anything that he wanted to.

He handed over the small plate of food to me, our fingers just barely skimming one another. We ate in a comfortable silence for a few minutes, laughing at Jared's occasional joke or quirky comment. "Okay, here's the next thing for the day," he said, reaching behind him for the box of index cards and a pen. "I was thinking, that with total amnesty, we could write down any questions that we have for each other and ask them. I mean, isn't that the whole reason that we're on this date? We're getting to know one another."

"Any question?" I asked, wondering if I could ask about his mother and his father without bringing up the incident. "Like, it doesn't matter what I say?"

"Absolute amnesty," he repeated.

I nodded and took the stack of cards and marker from his hand. I started with the basics, the things that I didn't know about Jared. From there, I moved on to the things that really bothered me. For example, did he see people teasing me? Did he just not care if he did? "Ready?" he asked me about five minutes later. I nodded. "I'll, uh, I'll start." He pulled the card from the bottom of the stack to the top, a shy smile on his face. "I'm pretty sure I know the answer to this question, _but_ what's your favorite animal?"

"What do you think it is?" I asked instead.

"It would be obvious that it's a horse, right?" he asked. I chuckled and shook my head.

"People who kind of know me assume that its a horse," I answered quietly, "but my real favorite is a wolf."

He swallowed hard like I had told him something that distressed him. "W-w-why a wolf?" he asked me, chomping down on his lip like he didn't know how to say anything else.

"I know that it's silly," I muttered, "but my dad used to say that wolves were protectors. It was silly, I know, because of the legends and all that. It's just one of those things that stuck with me." I shrugged, feeling like a dope. When I finally managed to gather the courage to look him in the eye, the triumphant gleam staring back at me startled me.

"It's not silly," he replied, his hand stroking over my knee again. I could feel a heaviness seeping over my limbs, pressing me into the woolen blanket. "Your turn," he nodded.

"I, uh, I guess I'll ask what you best memory from high school is," I asked, feeling oddly shy and playful at the same time.

"This years Spring Fling." I jumped up to meet his eye, thinking that he was teasing. He looked like he was completely seriously. Indeed, he had even answered without hesitation. Technically speaking, there was no reason for me not to believe him.

"Why?" I demanded, frowning and trying to avoid staring at the hand that was marching up above my knee to my thigh. It wasn't technically improper, but there was something about it that seemed intimate.

"One question per round," he took the joy of telling me. "My turn." I couldn't help but chuckle at the impish gleam in his eyes. He beamed at me like my ugly little giggle was the key to the universe. "What's your family like? Besides the obvious, of course." 'The obvious' must have been his way of referencing the incident. Still, the question brought a slight pang to my heart. I wanted to keep my mother away from our conversations. The woman, near and dear to me as she was, had a bad habit of tainting in the good things in my life.

"Pass?" I attempted.

"Please," Jared begged. How did one say no to a boy as beautiful as him when he was staring at you like that?

I sighed heavily and turned to look away from him. "My mother isn't the easiest person in the world to live with," I admitted. "She's not home very often, which is why you met Mrs. Callahan and not her." He nodded. "She can be a little judgmental, but I think that at the core of it all, my mother has a good heart. She wants the best for me." That was how I'd always felt about my mother, from the time that I was a little kid. It was how I got through the day, through the years. "She always assumes that she knows best, that's all."

He was staring at me again, but it wasn't as terrifying as it had been. "You have too big a heart, did you know that?" I shook my head and rolled my eyes. "You do. I haven't been the best friend to you, especially not after the friendship that you showed me after the incident.

"Did you see it happening?" I asked him then. It was a question that I didn't want an answer to, but one that would have plagued me if I didn't ask.

"I always knew that you were there, but you never made some big fuss about what was happening. I guess I just never saw it. If I had, Kim, I would have said something, I would have stopped it. I definitely wouldn't have let it get as bad as it was for our sisters; not for someone as sweet as you," he whispered. "I guess I was just so focused on making sure that I had friends to stand by me that I forgot about the only girl in the world who was always my friend."

I smiled up at him, surprised when he quirked a look that I had never seen before. "Was that your question then?" he asked. I nodded because I was one of those people who obeyed the rules at all times. He had said that we were to ask one question a turn. "So that would make it my turn?"

"Is that _your_ question?" I asked him.

He smiled and shook his head. "Will you kiss me, Kimberley?" I told myself to say no, but even as the negation was on my tongue, I found myself leaning forward to meet him half way. And before I knew it, he was kissing me.


	14. Chapter XIII

**Author's Note: Okay, here's the next chapter. Hopefully my internet will start working in my apartment and I'll be able to post more often. Otherwise, I'll just post while I'm on campus and I have internet. Either way, enjoy!**

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**Chapter XIII:****_ Jared's Point of View_**

"Did you see it happening?" she asked. It took me a minute to decipher her question, but once I did, the guilt hit harder than anything that I had felt before. I explained that I would have stopped it had I known what was going on. The truth was, I should have known what was going on. I should have been able to protect her. Kim had given all she had to me after the incident. She had been the best friend that I had ever had. And I squandered it. I almost ruined one of the best things that had ever happened to me.

"Was that your question then?" I asked her, hoping that I could find a way to apologize for all the things that happened to her. She nodded, her hair bobbing along with her. "So that would make it my turn?"

"Is that _your_ question?" Who would have known that the girl, quiet and meek as she was would have such a sense of humor. She truly did, though. She liked to be sarcastic, to poke fun, and joke around. I beamed at her, glad that she was feeling comfortable enough me to joke.

"Will you kiss me Kimberley?" I tried to wait for her response, for her to tell me yes or no. But her lips were so close, her mouth only a breath away and she was leaning closer. What was I supposed to do with that? The only thing that came to mind was kiss her. She tasted of sweetness, of lemons and iced tea and everything that I could ever want. She was sugar and sunshine, liquid fire in my arms. The part of my brain that wanted more tried to push, to get her to open her mouth to me and let me in. I couldn't, though. Kim deserved the very best that I could give her.

When I pulled away, it was nothing like I would have pictured. In the movies, the girl looks beautiful, nothing about her hair or makeup had changed. But Kim? Her rust lips were swollen to a dark red, lipgloss smeared along the corners of her mouth and teeth. Her eyes weren't glazed over with lust, but dark with something that I had never seen before. "Your turn," I muttered, my forehead pressed against hers. "Next question."

"Will you kiss me again?" I could see her cheeks flush as if she was embarrassed at saying the words. But for me, the five words were like magic. She hadn't just enjoyed the embrace, she felt the pull. She wanted it as much as I did. I slid my hand into the thick locks of her hair, feeling the braid undo itself and twine themselves around my fingers. Desire pulsed through me, the force I couldn't fight anymore. I nipped at her bottom lip, teasing her, asking for entry. As with everything else, though, I had learning to do.

Kim was stunningly beautiful, whether she knew it or not. I am sure that she considered herself plain, but I was also sure that it was illegal somewhere to consider her unpretty. Her hesitancy at my movements, however, said that she had never truly been kissed. I nibbled her bottom lip once more, but I only got a surprised gasp in response. It was like she had thought that my first attempt had been an accident. I wanted to pul back, to ask her if she had never been kissed before. But at the same time that I made the conscious thought to do so, Kim took my bottom lip between her own and caught her teeth on it. I gasped just as loudly as she had and moved my hands from her hair to her face, cupping her round cheeks in my hands. "I should - - I should take you home," I whispered against her hair.

"No thank you," she said simply. Even in desire she still had manners. "Do you know the constellations?" she asked suddenly. I shook my head. Shock coursed through me when she grabbed hold of my hands, still wrapped around her face, and pulled me back on the truck bed with her. I dropped my arm down before she could fully lie down. Her silky hair, undone from its style, tickled the sensitive inner skin of my arm as she nestled into me. "That one," she whispered, pointing up in the sky at a cluster of stars, "is Orion's belt. My dad used to say that once you find that and the Big Dipper, you can find anything else in the sky." It was a clear night, like most on the reservation. I was content to listen to her talk about the different things, the stars, the zodiacs, the way to tell where you were based on the North Star.

"How do you know all of these things?" I asked after she silenced for a while. Her head was turned towards me, her eyes closed. "Kim?" Snuggled against my shoulder, the girl had fallen asleep. I knew that it was wrong, simply because it was our first date, but I had to fight the strong desire to join her. I couldn't join her, that would be wrong and might ruin the trust that was building between us. "Kim?" I tried again, giving her a little shake this time.

"My mother," she announced with a jolt. "I learned them because my mother wanted to start a fashion line called Constellations,"she explained. Her voice was groggy, fogged over with sleep. I don't think I'd ever hear anything so sexy. Of course, I was getting ahead of myself. I knew the imprint would show me all the reason that I should love her. I had just been expecting more time for the two of us to come to terms with this. That wasn't stopping the physical desire that I had for her. How had I never noticed how beautiful she was? Probably because my head was too far up my ass to do so.

I regretted my next action, but knew it had to be done if I was going to hope to take her out again. "I should get you home," I breathed into her hair. "It's close to your curfew." She snorted, her head still resting against my arm. "I don't want to get you in trouble, Kim. I'd like to take you out again and I can't do that if Mrs. Callahan doesn't like me."

"Much as she would like to believe that she does, Mrs. Callahan doesn't really have a say over my life," Kim breathed.

"You know she can't hear you, right?" I replied just as quietly.

"My mother doesn't approve of rude comments," she said in a normal tone of voice. "I learned long ago to keep them to myself and avoid trouble."

"I don't remember your mom very much," I admitted.

"About as much as I remember yours, I suppose. After the girls' incident, our families actively avoided each other." She smiled at me like she was going to comfort me. She was right, of course. Our mothers stayed away from each other. And it didn't really matter back then. Kim was always around for me when I needed her. Clearly I needed to do a better job of being around for her. "Your mom was always smiling, though, I remember that. Except for the obvious times."

"I just remember your mom always looking nice," I replied. "She always looked like she had the newest and the greatest on. I think that's why my sister liked to hang out there so much."

She opened her mouth like something had just occurred to her, but quickly snapped her mouth shut. "I should get home, you're right," she whispered. I sighed, wishing for the things that just couldn't be. I didn't want to drop her off, I didn't want her to be hiding something from me. I wanted to know all of her thoughts. This imprinting shit was harder than I thought. I already knew that we were meant to be together. No, I just had to convince her of it.

As I drove back towards her house, I found my gaze drifting to her. She looked out the window, fiddling with her now loose hair and chomping on her lower lip. The Kim that had asked me to kiss her, who had asked me not to take her home, who had made jokes about her housekeeper had disappeared. In her place was this quiet little mouse, staring out the pane and probably thinking over all the things that she'd said. "Kim?" She hummed and turned to look at me, her eyes guarded. "I had a lot of fun. I really hope that you did too."

"I did," she replied shyly. I smiled at her and heard her suck in a tight breath. Her heart stuttered, her teeth dug farther into her bottom lip. "I really - - I want to apologize for the things that I said. I was far too outspoken. I shouldn't have -"

"Kim, I don't care what you say." Her eyebrows winged upwards and she looked down at the seat, her lips now trembling. "Shit, Kim; I didn't mean it that way." Leave it to me to fuck this up. "I just meant that everybody needs that person they can vent to. I don't care if you say things that you think are mean or rude or anything else. Say them. I'm not going to judge you or hate you for them." She nodded, but didn't look up. Her hair fell down around her face, slightly wavy from the way she'd had it before.

I popped out of the car and sprinted around to her side with the intention of walking her to the door. But even when the door opened, she didn't look up. "Kim?" Still nothing. Her thick hair curtained her face. I reached over and brushed her hair aside before grasping her chin in my fingers and forcing her to meet my gaze. She didn't say anything, but her heartbeat stuttered and her breath seemed to catch. "I care about what you say," I murmured. "A lot. I want to hear everything that you think."

There was a moment that seemed to be frozen in time. And then she launched herself out of my car and into my arms, wrapping her own limbs around my neck and squeezing me tight. "Thanks, Jared."

The overwhelming scent of perfume wafted through the air. "Kimberley?" the shrill voice called out. Kim dropped from my embrace, her own look stunned.

"Mother?" Mother? Who calls their parent _mother_ now a days? "I - - I didn't expect you home today," she stuttered.

"Yes, well I didn't expect to find you in the arms of a boy. It would seem that we were both in for surprises." A growl rumbled in my throat. Her mother acted like she had done something wrong. "Come along, Kimberley."

"Yes Mother," Kim replied demurely, her gaze downcast. She took a few steps, then hesitated. She shot a glance at the porch and then stepped back to me. With a hand on my chest and another on my cheek, her lips touched my cheek. "Thank you, Jared. I had a nice time."

I waited until she was in the house to drive away. I knew how to convince her that I was the man for her now. I just needed to listen to her, to understand that I wouldn't be like the other people in her life. "And that," I told the empty truck cab, "I can do."


	15. Chapter XIV

**Author's Note: This is all the chapters I will be posting today. I have to go to the school's bookstore. And since it's the Friday before school starts, I'm expecting ridiculousness. I hope you all enjoy!**

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**Chapter XIV**

Every ounce of boldness that I had been feeling during the night disappeared. My mind raced to figure out what she could possibly be mad about. Jared had brought me home half an hour before my curfew. Mrs. Callahan wasn't asleep; I could hear her bustling about in the kitchen. There was no reason for her to be upset. "How was your trip, Mother?" I asked once I had closed the front door. At least Jared wouldn't see _Mount St. Regina _erupt. The deadly look on her face said that I was in for it, even if I didn't know what _it_ was.

"What were you thinking, Kimberley?" she demanded of me instantly.

"I'm sorry, Mother, I don't understand."

"Did you think it was a good idea to go out with a Littlecreek? Knowing our families' histories as you do, you thought that it was appropriate?" she snarled. For however much I hated Mrs. Callahan, the woman always did have my back. This was no different. The elderly woman snuck her way into the front room, attempting to look unobtrusive and supportive all at the same time. "Mrs. Callahan, you are dismissed for the evening." With those harsh words, the one person I had in my corner slowly backed out. "Your sister traipsed around, acting like a floozie and look at where it got her, Kimberley."

My mother was sitting before me, blaming a victim for her rape? I nodded my head slowly, letting the shock of that absorb. "My sister was not a floozie." The words left my mouth before I could stop them.

"What did you say?" My brain _screamed_ at me to tell her that I said nothing, to change what I had said so that she wouldn't understand it. Instead, I stupidly repeated the sentence. "Your sister went out every single night, fought with your father and I about it for ages. Look what happened to her. You think that it was just a coincidence?"

"She was _raped_, Mother. She didn't have much of a say in the matter."

"Her and the Littlecreek girl, they went out and allowed those things to happen to them."

"No they didn't," I sobbed, my breath catching in my throat. "They were attacked, violated. They were hurt. I would -" I stopped myself from telling her that I would have killed myself too if my mother thought of me as a slut. "There are many things that you are right about, Mother, but this is not one of them."

"What would you know about mothering? You don't even _watch_ children, Kimberley. I raised a daughter who glowed in society and gave others a goal to achieve," she sneered, speaking of Katie. My sister had always been the perfect one in my mother's eyes.

"So perfect that she _killed _herself!" Again, the words flew from my mouth. "You have raised happy, perfect, daughters, right?" I felt anger boiling in my chest, the desire to throw every statement that she had ever said about me in her face. During my date with Jared, I had gotten a taste of what it felt like to have someone listen to you, to have someone care about what you say. While I was sure that there were things my mother was right about, especially the things that concerned me, this wasn't one of them. Now more than ever, I wanted her to know that I was capable of fighting back.

"You best watch your tone, young lady," she hissed, her eyes narrowing in a dangerous manner."

"Why should I?" I practically screamed. "I'm not the good daughter, remember? That was Katie. Until she came back from that party, she was your little princess!" She glared at me. "She was the good one. Right? I'm not feminine enough. I'm not pretty enough. I'm not skinny enough. God knows that I couldn't dance. I couldn't sing. I was nothing that _you_ wanted in a daughter."

"You chose not to embrace those traits," she snapped back. I could hear Callahan lurking on the staircase, ready to jump in if necessary. "When I think of all the trouble I could have saved myself by keeping you with me instead of letting you run off with your father all the time," she trailed off. I ground my teeth together to keep from opening my mouth and saying something that both of us would regret. "I mean, really Kimberley. I let you go hunting and fishing with him simply so I could help your sister. If I had realized the implications of those actions, I would have never let it happen. You do know why you're so thick, don't you?"

"Here we go again," I muttered to myself.

"I'm only trying to look out for you. If you would eat a salad once in a while and stop eating those foods."

"Carbs?" I choked out, my voice somewhere between a sob and a laugh. "They're a necessity, Mother. People actually need them to live."

"Where is this outspokenness coming from?" she asked me then. "You go out on one date and suddenly you are acting like a, like a - -"

"Like a full grown individual? Like a young girl with a brain that works?" She stared at me like I had grown a second head. "I have an opinion, Mother. Believe it or not, my view of things don't always match yours."

"What makes you think you have the right to speak to me like this? I gave birth to you! I am the reason that you are here. You live in this beautiful house with a housekeeper and a nanny and all the things that you could have wanted!"

"Except for a father." I knew that it was mean, that I was being cruel. My father's accident had little to do with my mother. It had ever less to do with me. "Except a sister." The tears came rushing to the surface then. "Except for a mother who wants me around."

"You want a father who treated his own daughter like a son? You want a sister who strutted around acting like a whore?" she questioned.

"You were the one who was knocked up at seventeen, Mother. Don't you think that makes _you_ the tramp in the family?"

Her hand came out before I had time to suspect her reaction to my hateful question. The slap was hard, harder than any she had tossed my way in years. My head was thrown to the side with the force of the blow. The instant that I was free of her hand, I pressed my palm over what I'm sure was a now red cheek. It was hot under my hand, the blood having rushed to the surface. "I'm going to the barn," I murmured, keeping my head down and using my hair as a shield.

"I took your car keys," she said just as quietly, sounding dazed but not the least bit apologetic. "How do you suppose you'll get there?"

"I'll walk."

"I'm only home for another couple of days. You may have them back when I leave .There is no need for this stubbornness," she chastised.

"There was never a need for your cruelty," I replied. How many years had I heard that I wasn't pretty? Regardless of the fact that it was true, a mother is supposed to love her children, protect them, make them feel like they matter. How many years had she tried to put me on diet after diet, tried to make me the same shape as her and my sister? I grabbed my coat from the hook by the door, glad that I kept my tack room keys in there instead of in the car. "Goodnight, Mother."

This was what my insolence got me. I spoke my mind, I told her of all the secret anger I had been harboring. And all I ended up with was a bruised cheek. That was it for me. Outspoken Kim didn't do anyone much good. Mousey Kim Conwell could at least keep people happy. Tears of anger started trickling down my cheeks. My sister would have wanted me to step up and be the daughter that she was for my mother. I just couldn't do it. I was always meant to be with my father, to be hunting and fishing and spitting seeds. It was the whole reason I started horseback riding. It was the one thing that my mother would allow me to do that was remotely unfeminine.

I could hardly see for the tears that blurring my vision, but I somehow made it to the barn. My fingers fumbled for the keys to find the right one for the lock. I could hear Geronimo nickering down the hall, but going to him would only make me cry harder. "Kim?" I jumped at the sound of a voice that I recognized but couldn't quite place. "Kim, it's Jared. Are you in here?"

Keeping my face down, I stepped into one of the LED lights that Tex had to light the hallway. "What are you doing here?" I asked in the same shy whisper I had used y entire life.

"You, er, forget - - something in my truck. I came by your house to bring it to you, but you were already leaving. Don't think of it as weird, or anything, but I kind of followed you," he tried to jest. I gave a fake laugh, the one that I had perfect ages ago. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, thank you. You can leave whatever it is over there. I'll see you when school starts." I didn't plan on leaving this barn until the morning school started up again. I jumped when hot hands touched my shoulders. His rough fingers gently brushed my hair from my face and lifted my chin to meet his gaze. I saw his jaw bunch when he saw the undeniable bruise on my face. "I don't want to talk about," I said before he could question. I almost smiled. Those were the same words I had said to him when he found me after the incident.

To my shock, he _did_ smile. His arms swept me against his chest, just like he had when he'd found me. "No talking then," he said. Unable to stop the torrent, I let him lead me into the shed. He laid me down on the cot and settled beside me, not muttering a single word of comfort or a single word to chastise. Instead, he just held me tight and let me cry it out. "It's okay, Kim. I'm here."


	16. Chapter XV

**Author's Note: Some big things are coming up in the next three chapters (so look forward to that!) Here's the next one! Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter XV**

I couldn't remember the last time that I had felt so comfortable, especially lying on the cot in my tack shed. Hay and shavings swirled around me, mixed with the wonderful pine scent of a man that I wanted to spend every day of my life with. But that warm rock was slipping away from me, leaving me cold and chilled to the very bone. "Jared?" I managed to get out past the sleep clogging in my voice. "Where are you going?" I asked him. I felt his weight settle down on my bed once again, but his arms didn't come back around me.

"You fell asleep; I didn't want you to think that I was taking advantage of you or anything," he murmured.

"Do you - - do you think that you could stay with me? I know that you won't do anything to hurt me," I replied just as quietly. He looked stunned, but nodded nonetheless. His arm slipped about my waist and help me tight to his side.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked me. I turned my head until I found the analog clock on the wall. It was three in the morning and he wanted to talk? "We both know you're not going back to sleep, Kim." How did he know me so well? How could he tell that I was not happy? "What happened? After I left you?" I rested my head against his shoulder, feeling the strange play of muscles underneath my head.

"She yelled a little bit, called me a tramp." A growl rumbled from deep in the pit of his stomach, climbing upwards and escaping his throat. "She said that our sisters asked to be raped, that they were sluts and that's why it happened." If possible, his growl turned even more menacing. "I argued with her and said some things that I probably shouldn't have. Then I left."

"I'm sorry that you had to go through all of that alone," he managed, but you could tell that it was through clenched teeth. "I wish that I could have done something to help you."

"It doesn't matter," I murmured. "My mother has been that way her entire life and I highly doubt that she is going to be changing much any time soon," I admitted. He sighed, his breath breezing through my hair. "Thank you for coming after me," I added, remembering that he had sat with me for a few hours now and I had yet to said anything.

"I wouldn't want to be anywhere else." We lapsed into a quiet, comfortable silence. I could hear the crickets singing in the surrounding forests and some of the horses hungrily munching on their food. "How long have you had a cot in here?" he asked me after a while. His fingers began tripping up and down my arm, causing goosebumps to pop up on my arm.

"Let's see," I muttered more to myself than the undeniably gorgeous man sitting beside me. "When Geronimo was three, he collicked." Jared made a face that was only visible because of the moonlight streaming in through the barred windows. "It's a horse thing. He got really sick." He nodded then. "I was so silly and young and he was my first horse, so I asked my dad if I could have a bed to sleep on. I couldn't just leave my baby alone, you know." He smiled at me. "It's been here ever since. I sleep here if I have a show early in the morning or if I have something to do or if one of the horses is sick."

"Or if you don't want to sleep at home." The silence suddenly became heavy. I could hear him silently asking me how often it was. Information that I wasn't willing to give up. It would mean admitting just how often I slept on a cot in the middle of no where, where anything could get to me.

"Or that," I finally conceded. He nodded slowly, like he was trying to think of something. "I should have known better than to say those thing. She doesn't always like when I tell her what's going on in my mind."

That seemed to make him stop dead. "You have too big a heart," he murmured against my hair. "She said horrendous things about our sisters and clearly did something to upset you, and you still make excuses for her."

"She's always been in a bad way. My mother doesn't understand all of the amazing things that she has. Or, had. Now she only has me." I was nothing close to amazing. I didn't give anything to anyone. I was useless, only good for riding horses and gathering cattle. Jared shifted me so that he was staring up at my eyes and I was practically lying on top of him.

"I don't remember much about your dad, but I'm sure he was great," he began slowly. "And your sister was always real cool." I smiled, remembering the time that she had convinced Jared to let me paint his toenails Barbie pink. "But it sounds to me like your mom has the most amazing thing left over."

"Our house is pretty cool," I admitted begrudgingly. Our house was just a building with four walls; it wasn't a home.

"I was talking about you, silly girl," he replied, a chuckle resonating in his voice. "Honestly, have you no idea how incredible you are?" I looked down at the mattress, trying not to let his words get to me. He was just giving me pity, consoling a girl who looked like she needed it at the moment. "I wish I could undo all the lies that she's told you," he added suddenly.

"Don't." I begged.

"Don't what?"

"Don't try to tell me that I'm something that I'm not. I know that I'm not as pretty as the other girls. I try to be smarter or a better horseback rider so that I have something to claim, but I'm aware that I'm pretty much average." Except in horseback riding. I didn't mean to toot my own horn, but I'd earned buckles and ribbons for the proof of it. Still, humility was a trait desirable to all people and one that I practiced. I wouldn't be as good as I was without my mother's insistence on having the best, without Tex's training, without the pushing that he gave me. And without my horse, God only knows where I would be. You can train an animal all you would like, but some of them just have the right instincts.

"You are far from average," he hissed. His eyes turned dark, like smoldering embers with anger burning in their depths. "You are stunningly beautiful, always have been. So what if you don't look like a supermodel? The truth is, no guy really wants one anyways, least of all me. God forbid I had to be with someone that I couldn't hug without snapping in half." I couldn't help but giggle at his comment. His features softened just a little bit, like he was happy to hear me laughing. Strange, that idea. "I'm not even going to broach the subject of your horseback riding. I don't know about it, but I know that watching you on that horse was like watching music. And regardless of all of that, you have the kindest _soul_ of anyone that I have ever met."

"You don't -"

"I didn't talk to you after everything happened. It was shitting of me; beyond shitting of me. I should have been there for you. And now I'm back, trying to get to the man that I want to be and you welcome me like there was never a problem. I don't know much about girls and their brains, Kim, but I know that you are unlike anyone that I have ever met. Even with your own mother, you let her terrorize and bully you and then you make excuses. If that's not kindness then I don't know what is."

"Do you want to see something?" I asked suddenly. He looked a little shocked, but nodded nonetheless. I left his arms, barely stifling my groan of regret and led him over to a thick chest. "After my father's accident, my mother took all of his things and packed them away. I think that she blames herself for it and it became too hard to her to look at all his stuff." Jared nodded along in understanding. "Some of the important stuff she kept, but post of it was given away or sold or burned."

"She _burned _his things?"

"I think she thought that she was burning her guilt with it," I admitted. "But that's not the point. I took the things that I thought were the most important and locked them away in here." I gestured to the trunk. "My mother thinks it's tack stuff, so she'll never open it. But there's something that I want to show you in here." He nodded again. I pried the lid open and set the wire to hold it open and rummaged until I found the painting I was looking for. "My father was an artist. When I was a little girl," I began, unrolling the paper as I spoke, "he told me that the world needs magic. Magic was what gave little kids their imagination, what kept the world from being clinically depressed." He laughed a little. "But most importantly, magic is what holds love together."

The painting was laid out on the floor, a girl and a chocolate brown wolf. "He told me that you had to believe that anything was possible if you didn't want to end up alone. And that one day, I would find my wolf and live my fairytale ending." Jared's eyes rushed up to meet mine in a panic. I felt myself blush and looked down again. "I know that it's silly, but when I was little, I used to tell him that I wanted a wolf instead of a prince. You know, the legends and all that?" He nodded, his eyes still wide. "I wanted someone who could protect, not ride me off into the sunset." I shrugged again.

Jared cleared his throat like there was something stuck sideways. "We should get some sleep," he finally said. "And, Kim?" I tucked the painting back away and looked at him with questioning eyes. "You should believe in magic, no matter what."


	17. Chapter XVI

**Author's Note: Okay, here's the next chapter! Enjoy!**

**Chapter XVI:****_ Jared's Point of View_**

I knew it was ridiculous, the desire not to tell her. I _had_ to tell her the truth, especially after what she'd said the night before when showing me the picture her dad had painted. But I woke up in the morning with Kim resting in my arms and I didn't _want_ to tell her. I didn't want to give her a reason to run and hide, even while I dared to dream that she would be okay with it. She'd said herself that she'd always wanted a wolf. I couldn't be the gallant prince that waltzed in and saved the princess, but I could be the wolf.

The morning light came streaming in the barred windows that looked like those in a prison cell. Kim's hair flared out around the arm of mine that she was using as a pillow. Her hand lie on my chest, on the center of my breastbone. Her dark red lips were pouting gloriously, begging for another one of the kisses that I had gotten the night before. I shifted, trying to ease the desire that was burning through me. Unfortunately, Kim shifted herself too, not willing to let a single thing change. She absently tossed one of her legs over mine, wrapping her ankle around my knee and drawing my leg to her.

"It's time to wake up, isn't it?" she asked me. I started, not having realized that she'd awoken. It was stupid of me, really. I had been too wrapped up in her, in the feel of her against my body and the joy of her possessive motions that I hadn't noticed any change in her; not even her rhythmic heartbeat. "I should get up. Enjoy the last day of Spring Break while it lasts." I could feel hesitation in her movements, though. It was like she didn't want to get up. "Sundays are mine and Geronimo's play days." She smiled wistfully.

"I should let you go then." Much like her, I didn't want to let go. "What time is it?" I asked her. She groaned and rolled over.

"Almost eight." Shit.

"I have a meeting in an hour. I should go, but I promise I'll see you in just a little, okay?" She nodded and let me slip out of the bed. "Can - - Can I kiss you goodbye?"

"No," she said immediately. Was she already regretting the things that had happened? "I mean," she ducked her face down so she was looking at the bed and not at me, "I would like to kiss you, Jared, but I probably don't smell too good. I have morning breath, I didn't get a chance to brush my teeth last night, so my breath is probably rancid. I would very much like to kiss you, though Jared."

That was really all the invitation I needed. I stepped close to her and sank down on the bed, capturing her lips in a kiss that seared me to the very bone. "In case you were wondering, you smell delicious and I don't think anyone would describe your breath as _rancid,_" though I could think of plenty of others words to use as description. None of them were even synonymous with rancid though. God she smelled delicious. "I have to go and make this appointment. I'll be back right after that."

"I'll be playing around in the arena for a little while and then I'll head out for some forest exploring," she beamed. I liked the twinkle in her eyes when she talked about going exploring. So long as nothing came along and spooked her horse, all should be fine. Besides, once I was finished this morning, I would be there to make sure nothing happened to her. I smiled with glee and swooped in for one more quick kiss.

I sprinted out to the forest and phased before making the run to my house and pulling on fresh clothes. Kim was right; neither one of us had showered or brushed our teeth. And while I didn't have time to shower, I could brush the grime out of my teeth. Especially if Kim was willing to receive a few more kisses. I jammed my foot into my newest pair of shoes and dashed right back to where I had started the whole morning: the barn.

Tex was waiting in a different building from where Kim and I had been. Kim had explained that there was a show and training barn and a boarder's barn. "You were almost late," the older man said. I smiled at the man and moved down the lines of stalls until I found the large palomino colored horse. "Get him out and let's get started. You picked a good day for surprising her. Last day of spring break is always her favorite." I nodded and slipped the halter over the horse's head.

I couldn't wait to tell her. I had been taking lessons from Tex twice a day for more than a week now. While I wasn't more than just a basic rider, nothing to Kim's caliber, it meant that I could at least take her out on a horse. I could enjoy the same things that she did for nothing other than the pleasure of watching her smile when I could accompany her.

Tex instructed me to saddle the horse and get him ready. "I don't suppose I'm going to convince you to buy this horse," he said as I threw the leather over the animals back.

"The first time I went in there to get him, he kicked me, remember?" I reminded him with a laugh. It wasn't all the horse's fault though. I still smelled like a wolf, even if the human nose couldn't pick it up. Mytus just sensed the threat that I wasn't trying to pose to him. He had since decided that something was wrong with his nose and learned that I wasn't going to hurt him. I slipped the bridle up, gently pulling the bit into his mouth and clasping the throat latch. "He likes me well enough now," I added though, leading the horse from the barn to the arena. I checked the cinch one last time and swung myself up with skilled ease. If I wasn't so damn determined to make Kim understand that I really wanted to be a part of her life, I probably wouldn't have learned as quickly as I had.

"Just walk him around and warm him up," Tex instructed. So it worked, all the time now that I knew how to ride. Tex went about whatever it was he needed to finish and called out instructions as he went. After riding for almost two hours, he finally decided that I was finished working. "Play around here for a little while. I'm going to find Kim and see where she is." I nodded and pressed my heel into the horse's side, taking off in the gentle lope. Maybe Tex was right; I should by the big old boy.

Of course, it was silly to assume that Kim would want me around here. This was her place, after all. This is where she came to escape the rest of her world. I did want to be proficient here, though. I wanted to be able to do special things with her out here, to make her feel like I was a part of her world. Maybe Kim would like another horse... As the thought entered my brain, I knew that I was being stupid. She and Geronimo had a connection that went well beyond horse and rider. I wouldn't try to mess with that.

Tex came jogging back into the arena a few minutes later, huffing something about her heading out. Apparently, I needed to be speedy and get out to where she was before she got too deep in the forest for me to find. I set the horse's gait down to a trot and started out to the place that the trail began. Geronimo's black and white butt screamed out against the greenery and told me exactly where she was. "Kim?" I called out loud enough for her to hear, but not enough to frighten either of the horses.

"Jared?" She pulled the horse around, barely moving her hand. The horse spun around on his hind legs, in what I had been taught was called a roll back. "What are you - - Where did you get that horse?" she demanded.

"Downtown. Yeah, he was just chilling, you know hanging out," I replied. She smiled and giggled a little before regarding me with a more serious look. "I've been taking lessons from Tex." She had already been still, but it seemed that even her chest stopped rising with her breath.

"Why would you do that?" she asked me quietly. She really was a silly girl. Didn't she understand that I would do anything for her?

"I thought it might be fun for us to hang out doing some of the things that _you_ like to do," I replied instead. I was learning that she didn't see herself as anything valuable, as anything important. It almost hurt me to know that she thought of herself that way.

"You learned how to horseback ride - - for _me_?" I nodded, unsure what else there was to say. She trotted her horse over to mine and brought the beast right alongside. Our legs mashed into each other. "Thank you, Jared. No one has ever done something like that for me." She laid her hand on my knee to say thank you. I shortened the reins a little, lest the animal run away, and leaned over to press a kiss to her brow. "Why don't we head out on the trail?" she suggested. I nodded and let her take the lead. "Be careful, Kim," I heard her mutter to herself. I probably shouldn't have heard it, but wolf hearing had it's advantages. "You're going to fall more if you aren't careful." I smiled at her and followed silently.

I was gonna get this right if it drove me crazy.


	18. Chapter XVII

**Author's Note: Okay, here's the next chapter. Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter XVII**

We returned to the barn, happy and content after our little ride. He had brought some pesto and turkey sandwiches with him, happy and content as he chowed down on a sandwich that was at least the length of his arm. "I was thinking," he began, his mouth full of food, "that we should go for a walk."

"A walk?" I clarified, trying to make sure that I had understood him. He nodded. "Where would you like to go?"

"Into the forest. I have something that I'd like to show you." I nodded. Really, he could have nothing terrible to show me. I knew everything there was to know about Jared Littlecreek. Still, nerves ate at my stomach while I tried to figure out what he could want to show me. I had shown him every great secret that I had. Maybe this was his way of trying to even the playing field. When he had finished his food, he reached a hand out to me with a smile. I took it grateful, pondering just how good it felt against my own.

Both of our hands were calloused, but his were rough like the pad of a dog's. Mine were rough, bumpy and calloused from years of holding leather and rope in my palms. The friction that was created was delicious, tingles and shockwaves coursing through my spine. "Do you remember what you were saying about the wolves, Kim? You wanted them to be real?" I nodded, blushing. It was a silly childish fantasy; I knew that. But it was one of those things that gave me hope. I was able to believe that life would eventually get better because it _had_ to. In the stories, in the legends, the bad guy always died. "They are real, Kim."

I pulled my hand away from his. "I never thought you would do that to me," I breathed, looking down at the dirt.

"Do what Kim? I'm trying to tell you the truth."

"You're going to use my dream against me? I didn't tell you so that you could tease me about it, Jared." I tried to walk away from him, to save myself further embarrassment. Jared wrapped his arms around my waist, however, and hauled me to his chest.

"Please, Kim, I swear to you that I am not messing with you. It _is_ real." I eyed him wearily, unable to deny the effect that he was having on my heart. "Please, just let me explain. Better yet, let me show you. After that, if you want to leave, I'll get it. Please, Kim, please." I don't know if it was the begging or his proximity to me, but I nodded. He released my hands and walked a little ways from me. "I have to go over there to phase, Kim. I'll come right back, okay?"

I backed away from him, wrapping my arms around my chest to keep myself from feeling so vulnerable. It wasn't working. Still, I gave him an affirmative. He trotted off, leaving me leaning against the trunk of a great pine to keep from falling. Why would he do this to me? It made no sense. He had to know that this was one of the most important things to me. It was unlike him to be so cruel.

Yet, while caution stuttered in my chest, hope burgeoned in there too. Maybe, just maybe, Jared wasn't lying. It sounded impossible, even to my own ears, but maybe Jared was right. God wouldn't that be a dream come true.

A twig snapped somewhere beside me, snapping my head up. A chocolate brown wolf, much like the one that my father had painted, stepped out in front of me. My eyes must have gone wide with fear because he quickly sank down to the ground and rested his head on his feet. I licked my lips and tried to swallow the fear that was clogging my throat. It was a natural reaction when you come face to face with something so large. He was easily the size of a horse, with a faded mask of fur around his face. He whimpered when I hadn't said anything after almost five minutes of staring at him.

In truth, I had been obsessed with the wolf's eyes. They were definitely Jared's. Warm, like melting chocolate, swirling with caution and hope. I hadn't said anything simply because my brain was still processing. It was really and truly Jared. I could see him, the human him, in the depths of those eyes. And when he finally made a cautious movement towards me, I could see him in the pulls of his muscles. "Jared? That's you in there?" I heard a coughing sound that kind of startled me. He whined and laid himself down on the ground again, crawling a little closer. "Okay, if this is really you, bark three times."

He yipped three times, as asked. That was pretty much all I needed to know that it was Jared. Silly and naive as it was, I rushed to his side. It was real; everything that I had dreamed of was actually real. Jared balked but stayed still as I wrapped my arms around him. _"Wait for your soulmate, Kimmie,"_ my father had bid me. _"You'll know him when you have him. And once you do, don't let him go."_

Jared's head bowed to return my hug. I sat like that for a good little while, unsure what to do next. Finally, I pulled back. "Could you - - you said it was called phasing right?" he nodded his huge head and leaned down to lick my cheek. I couldn't help the feminine giggle that escaped my mouth. It was like something out of one of those paranormal romance novels. "Could you phase back? I want to ask you some things." He nodded and took off again, but not before licking my cheek again.

I knew the legends. And if Jared was real, than the Cold Ones must be real as well. The way that the legends described it though... Jared would be putting his life on the line every day. The legends said that the Warriors protected the tribe from Cold Ones, from bad people. But the cold ones had killed wolves before. Jared could die. He could be killed fighting these things.

"Hey, hey," he said quietly as I found myself trembling. "I thought you were okay with all this Kim?" He stepped close enough to wrap his arms around my waist and hauled me to his chest. "What's wrong Kim?"

"You could die, Jared," I whispered against his chest. I noticed then that his shirt hadn't been replaced and my cheek was pressed against his hot, sweaty skin. "Jared, you're burning up. Are you sick?"

He chuckled, the sound resonating through his chest. "No, Kim; it's part of the wolf thing. I run a little warmer than the average person. It's okay, I promise."

"So then the Cold Ones?"

He stiffened, a very animalistic growl building in the pit of his stomach. "They're real, Kim. All of it is real; all the legends; everything." I nodded slowly, letting the legends run through my head like a film real. "Nothing is going to happen to you though, Kim," he said after I'd been silent for some time. "I promise that I will never let anything hurt you." His arms tightened around my waist, holding me closer than I thought was possible.

"That's not what I'm worried about," I replied. I leaned back against his arms, letting him support my weight so that I could look up at his face. "I was worried about you. The legends talked about Cold Ones killing some of the Warriors, before the treaty was made."

"It's not like that anymore, Kim. Everything is going to be okay," he promised me. I allowed myself to just lean against him, my cheek resting in the hollow between his shoulder and chest. Tentatively, I wrapped my arms around his waist and anchored myself to him.

"All of them are true, Jared?" The story of the Third Wife swam into my head, the unending love that came with the imprint bond. Soul mates.

"Yes, Kim, all of them."

I bit my lower lip, feeling like I shouldn't be asking him the next question, but I had already opened my mouth. "Even the ones about the Third Wife?" I asked him, tucking my lip back between my teeth.

A howl sounded through the air, a wolf's sound pure and clear. "Kim, I really, really have to go. I promise that I'll explain everything else to you the second I get back. I really have to go though." Another howl sounded through the quiet sounds of the forests.

"Are you going to fight something?" I asked him, not willing to let go.

"Yeah; I have to go. Get back in the barn and stay there until I get back. Please?" I nodded and turned to walk away. "Hey Kim?" I looked up at him in question. "Thank you for taking that so well." I smiled at him. He kissed my forehead and then ducked to kiss my mouth. "I'll be back real soon."

He let me go and let me walk towards the barn. I didn't hear a sound, so I figured that he probably stood there, waiting for me to get all the way in the barn before he would leave. I couldn't help the smile that bloomed over my face. I could have everything that I had ever dreamed, everything that had been promised to me. I could have a wolf.

Standing by the hotwalker that Geronimo was tied to, I stopped. I could have everything I ever wanted...

Unless Jared had an imprint... Or if he hadn't imprinted on me.


	19. Chapter XVIII

**Author's Note: Okay, all, here's the next chapter! Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter XVIII**

I took my horse off the hotwalker and saddled him again, knowing that I wouldn't be able to focus until I could talk to Jared again. If he had imprinted on me, why hadn't he told me right away? Then again, there was nothing to say that I was worthy of being his imprint. Jared was the kindest man that I knew. I'd been in love with him since long before the incident; I'd been in love with him since seventh grade, since the summer he'd saved me from almost drowning out in the ocean. There was no way that I was worthy of him.

"He probably forgot all about imprinting," I told Geronimo. The horse was not happy to be working again, but he did so without questioning any commands I gave. "That's probably why he ran away earlier. He realized that I was probably not the person that he was meant to be with for the rest of his life. "Whoa," I called, pressing down in my stirrups and leaning back slightly so that my horse came to a stop. "If Jared didn't like me, though, there would be no reason for him to have told me his secret."

Geronimo's ears twitched. He tossed his head with impatience, but I chose to believe he was giving me an affirmative. I rolled back and started at an easy jog, biting the inside of my lips while I thought. Finally, my restlessness got the better of me. I lightly spurred my big boy into a lope, letting him go nice and slow, but the pace was fast enough that I could feel the fear gnawing at my stomach to ebb. "Kim?"

Tex's voice startled me as he walked into the arena. "Hey; you mind letting a cow in? Or a few? Maybe I'll practice some cutting or roping," I suggested.

"You got an itch, little girl?" he asked me.

"Yep." That was all it was all it took. For the next three hours, I worked Geronimo until he was practically dripping sweat. And after Geronimo was too worn out, although he easily could have gone longer, I switched and rode one of Tex's horses for a few hours. Then I switched again. After what was practically nine hours in a saddle, I was still struggling with my roiling emotions and Jared had yet to return.

"If you keep this up, you aren't going to be able to walk tomorrow," he said when I asked for another horse. "Go home, Kim. You're tired." I nodded, but I couldn't go home. Even if there was school tomorrow, I had told Jared that I would stay here until he came back. I hosed my hair off at the washrack that we used for the horses and scrubbed the laying of dust from my skin with some baby wipes. Only after I had finished that did I lay myself down in bed and pull the blanket over my head.

My body was exhausted. I knew that I was. Lifting my arms, hell turning over to lay on my side, hurt. But I couldn't stop thinking. Jared was probably hurt. Even now, he was probably hurt and waiting to heal. A part of me thought about breaking his rules and ignoring his wishes. I could go back home or try to find him. I sighed and shoved my exhausted arms underneath myself, trying to pry my body from the mattress.

"Kim?" the hiss came from outside the shed doors. "Kim, it's Jared, are you here?" I was slow in understanding. "Please let her be here," he begged in a nearly silent voice.

"Jared?" I managed to call back. Now that he was actually here, my fears were gone and I was pretty sure that I couldn't get out of the bed. "There's a key on top of the left hand lantern," I yawned. I thought I heard Jared chuckle, but I couldn't be sure. A moment later, the door was being slid along its gliders. "You're safe." His weight on the mattress forced me to roll into his side as he tried to get settled on the bed. He wrapped his arms around me and drew me into his chest.

"Were you worried about me, Kim?" he teased. I burrowed my nose into his ribs, breathing in the woodsy scent of him. "Is that your way of saying yes?"

"Of course I was worried about you; I remember what the legends say," I replied. His hand came over his chest and brushed a strayed strand of icy wet hair away from my face.

"It seems that I found a girl with a great memory," he whispered into my ear. "You had a lot of questions when I left you," he began.

"I know that it's the last day of Spring Break, but do you think that we could do this tomorrow?"

"Silly," he said, touching my nose with the tips of his finger. "It's only Saturday. We went out on Friday night."

"I lose a day somewhere," I grumbled sleepily.

"Probably when you hit your head when Geronimo spooked at that snake," he laughed. "What were you doing all day? I left at like noon."

"I was worried, so I rode for a few hours."

"A few, huh?" I nodded against his skin. "That's not the way that Tex tells it." I groaned in embarrassment. "Did you want to talk now?" I could hear the humor in his voice that said he knew exactly what the answer to that would be. I shook my head, listening to the warm sound of his laughter come crashing down over me. Security welled up in my chest, a promise that nothing would happen to me. "I'll leave you to get your sleep," he said then. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to my forehead, moving like he would get out of the bed.

"Where are you going?" I asked, pushing myself up so that my entire upper body was upright.

"You're tired, aren't you?"

"You slept with me last night," I pointed out. Of course, I quickly realized what I had said. I blushed bright red and ducked my face. "I mean - - I didn't want to - - we shared a bed last night.'

"I got what you were saying," he promised, a smile playing at his lips. "If you're not uncomfortable with it, Kim, I can go somewhere else."

I knew that it was silly, but I felt like if I told him that he could go... I would be giving him permission to leave_ me._ So I shook my head and allowed him to cuddle up in the bed alongside me. It wasn't very long before I was drifting off the sleep, my mind muddled with thoughts of the wolf-boy next to me. We had only been hanging out again for two weeks. Would it be acceptable for me to tell him that I loved him? I did; of course. I knew that for sure. But wasn't there some kind of unwritten rule that said that I couldn't tell him yet? There had to be. Otherwise the words would be used without reason or purpose; they wouldn't mean anything. The phrase would become something akin to "nice to meet you." In some cases, it's not always nice to meet someone.

"Get some sleep, Kim. I'll still be here in the morning; we can talk then."

The words had sounded like a promise, but when I woke the next morning, I realized that he hadn't in fact promised. I awoke in the shed, alone, lying on a cot wrapped in all the blankets. Te spot next to me was still warm, so I supposed I could take some solace in that. But he had still left; I had thought that we were going to talk. It would seem that I had been mistaken. He had left without even saying goodbye. I suppose I didn't have much a reason to be upset about anything. I didn't even know for certain if he had imprinted on me or if he just wanted a friend around again. I could imagine that it would be lonely, being a wolf. That _would_ explain his three week absence from school.

I sat back on the bed and looked around. All the things that had been around the shed, the shoes, the socks, the telltale signs of Jared were gone. As if my horse knew that I had awoke, the light banging at his stall began. I sighed heavily and tried to push myself up to my feet to start the trudge to my horse. I gripped the steel handle with the intention of sliding the door open when it was hauled from my fingertips.

Jared Littlecreek stood across from me, two coffee cups balanced on a pink box that smelled like all the sweetness the world had to offer. "Good morning," he greeted brightly. He stepped closer to me, forcing me a step back. The pattern repeated until I found myself pack inside the shed, the back of my knees pressing against the edge of the bed. Jared turned to give me my coffee and noticed the shock on my face. "What's wrong?" he asked.

"I, um, I thought that you'd left," I admitted, shamed. Jared was a good guy, one that kept his word. I needed to stop second guessing myself, get answers to my questions, and move on from there.

"That'd I'd leave you?" he snorted a laugh. "I'm not leaving you for a very, very, long time," he promised before his lips found mine. "Come on; I brought some breakfast. Figured we could chat over a little food."


	20. Chapter XIX

**Author's Note: We're getting kind of cutesy now! Enjoy!**

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**Chapter XIX**

"Was everything okay yesterday?" I asked him nervously. I didn't want to bring up my needy panic. "You took off quite suddenly," I added.

"I'm really sorry about that. I didn't mean to do that. I had something that I had to take care of. I didn't mean to leave you like that. We have a lot of things that we need to talk about." I nodded in agreement and let him grab the hand that didn't have coffee in it. "I was thinking that we could go for a walk or something while we talk." I agreed readily. Jared downed the rest of his coffee and grabbed up a bag of donut holes with a smile. "I got the custard filled ones. They, uh," his cheeks suddenly went bright red, as if he was embarrassed by what he was about to say. "You said once that they were your favorite. I mean, if they're not anymore, then I have other kinds in the box."

"No, no," I rushed forward. "They're still my favorite. I was just surprised that you remembered," I explained. "People don't care about what I say usually." The words slipped out of my mouth before I could stop them, but that happened a lot with Jared. I looked up to find his jaw set in a hard line, a muscle twitching in his cheek.

"I care, Kim. And, believe it or not, I remember pretty much everything that you've ever told me," he managed to get out through his clenched teeth. "You hate dresses," he began slowly. "If I remember correctly, you used to say that it was because you couldn't wear them well. Something tells me you could wear a potato sack well." I blushed to the roots of my hair. "But I guess I'll just have to prove that to you. Moving on," he brushed forward. He settled the white paper bag in his hand with a smile, holding it open so that I could reach over.

"What are we going to talk about?" I asked. I downed the rest of my coffee and threw it away as well. I dug deep in the bag, fighting back the blush of eating a highly fattening food in front of a man, and popped the fried dough in my mouth.

"Do you remember the legends, Kim? Like, all of them?"

"I already told you yes," I replied quickly. "I'm sorry; that was rude of me. I didn't mean to say it that way. I meant that I do know them all."

"You apologize for everything, don't you?" I looked down at the forest floor that we were now walking on. "You told me that you remembered them all, that's true. I was just making sure that you remember. You mentioned the Third Wife when we talked yesterday."

"You said that legend was real," I began slowly, not wanting to invite trouble.

"It is. The Third Wife and Taha Aki were all real. The love that they had, the love that the legend talks about - -"

"She was imprinted on his heart, his one and only soulmate." He sighed like he was relieved that I had figured out what he was trying to explain.

"That's a real thing, Kim. Imprinting, that is. It doesn't happen for every wolf; according to the legends it's a rare thing. Once the wolf finds that love, he can't let it go. She, the imprint, she becomes a part of him. I can't let her go, no matter what I do." I bit the inside of my lip. There _was_ an imprint.

"Her? Who is she?" I asked him. "I mean, it sounds as if you've already imprinted."

"Nowadays, Kim, Spirit Warriors aren't quite as revered as they used to be. Back when the legends started, the Warriors were the greatest people in the tribe. Now, we find ourselves being forced to hide. You know, after all the witchcraft scares that have happened over the years." I couldn't help but notice how the boy knew his history. "In the Pack, we're only allowed to tell our imprints."

The Pack? "There are more of you? I had just assumed that, you know, you were alone."

"You missed the last part of that, didn't you? We're only allowed to tell our imprints, Kim," he repeated a little slower.

I nodded because I had heard what he said. The members of the back were only allowed to tell their imprints the truth, like what Jared had explained to me. "But Jared, you told me," I pointed out. An amused smile spread over his lips, but he didn't say a single world. He just stared at me expectantly, like I would understand if he just kept staring at me. The problem was that I was too caught up looking at beautiful brown eyes that were staring at me with all the adoration in the world; like he never wanted to let me go. _I can't let her go, no matter what I do. _The words replayed in my head before I had asked for them. I gave a tiny gasp. "Oh."

Jared's face fell. "Oh," he responded in kind. "I didn't mean to make you think that you didn't have a choice, Kim. You do. You could," he took a deep breath, his eyes showing a depth of pain that I hadn't seen since his sister. "You could always say no, Kim."

_I can't let her go; not matter what I do._ Can't was different from won't. He can't let me go because of the bond, or so it would seem. But there was nothing that said he didn't _want_ to let me go. "I have no problem with - - Jared, being an imprint isn't - - Do _you _want the imprint?" I finally managed to get out of my mouth.

"That's what your 'oh' was?" he asked instead.

"No; I was just surprised that I was your imprint. That's all." He cocked his head to the side and furrowed his eyebrows. "The imprint is supposed to be the perfect match to the wolf, right?" He nodded curtly. "I don't understand how I can be your match. You're so...you. You are popular and funny and outspoken. I'm not any of those things. I like to blend in. I don't like for people to know what I'm thinking. I know you don't agree with me, but I think that popularity ruined our sister's lives. They didn't have real friends to stand by them. It made the entire situation much worse for them."

"You're saying that the imprint is wrong?" he asked, his eyes narrowed.

"Not wrong, necessarily," I began, "I just don't understand it."

"You don't have to understand it, Kim. Because I do." He took a step closer to me, his hands reaching up like he was going to take hold of me. He dropped them, though, and decided to take another step towards me. "When it first happened, I wasn't sure what to think. I remembered the connection we had being the incident." I could agree with that. "Then I looked at how happy the other imprinted wolves were. Sometimes, their imprints made sense. Like Jake and Ryanne." I smiled. I could see them being meant to be. They should be together for eternity, beyond the rest of them lives. "Others didn't make so much sense, like Emily and Sam. But if they could be happy together, whether they were expected or not, why couldn't you and I?"

Why couldn't we? It wasn't the love proclamation every girl dreams of hearing. In fact, it was far from it. We weren't the best of matches, but hey, there could be stranger ones. I nodded and swallowed hard. "And then we started talking again. I realized that if there was anyone I was destined to spend the rest of my life with, it was the girl I found lying on the hallway's ground, sobbing. The same girl that I picked up and held tight for what felt like days. And most importantly, the same girl who saw me trying to deal with my own grief and managed to make it better. Do you remember?"

"There was a lot of grief back then, Jared," I admitted. Besides, I had never done anything for him. He was right; he had picked me up off the ground, held me tight, and let me cry and mourn. "The way I remember it, I never did much for you except wet your t-shirt."

"Oh yes you did," he countered quickly. "I was sitting out by the pool of the hotel, remember? Our parents brought us out there because it would good for us to get away from all of the pity. And I was sitting at the side of the pool with my feet in the water, crying. You came out with the gallon of ice cream and a jug of Redvines."

"I like Redvines. They were my dad's favorite. He used to keep them in the house all the time," I laughed.

"You didn't say anything about the fact that you found me crying. You handed me a spoon and like seven licorice ropes."

"And you dropped the ice cream in the pool," I said as I remembered.

"You took the weakest day of my life, Kim, and made it something funny, something _better_," he explained. "Even when I wasn't with you, I know that you were always with me. I haven't been a good friend to you, Kim. But I promise that if you give me a chance, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you."

He stepped towards me again, the intent clear in his eyes. I couldn't let him; not yet. "You said that you _couldn't_ let me go, Jared. That's what the imprint does, right? It makes it impossible for the wolf to -"

"You misunderstood. I can't let you go because I don't want to. I will lose my mind if I have to let you go." I felt my eyebrows wing up to my forehead. In a flash, his hands had dug themselves into my hair, his breath whispering over my face. "I don't need you to say anything back, Kim. But I'm going to let you know right now: I love you."


	21. Chapter XX

**Author's Note: Here's the next chapter! Enjoy the cutesy stuff while it lasts!**

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**Chapter XX**

My heart tripped in my chest for a brief moment, then stopped beating all together. At least, I think that it stopped beating. I would have to ask Jared, for surely he could hear it. Then again, I heard the pulse drumming in my ears. It must be pounding in my chest, threatening to break my ribs with its force. "You don't, Jared," I whispered. I wanted it to be true. I wanted to believe that he could love me; but it couldn't be. "You just think that you do." The words burned my throat as they bubbled to the surface.

"Kim, the imprint doesn't make me love you," he vowed.

"I know that," I returned.

"Then why don't you think that I love you?"

"I already told you, Jared," I murmured. "I am not the perfect match for you. I know that the imprint doesn't _force_ you to love me, but what if you find that I'm not the one that you really love? What if you learn that I'm not the person that you think I am?" I asked him. "You may think you _should_ love me because you imprinted on me."

His lips touched down on mine then, a kiss that I had been longing for since I was twelve. Like all of his kisses, it stole my breath away, took my sense right from my head. One head slipped from the my hair to the small of my back, pushing me indescribably closer to his pelvis. My straight hair was twisted in between his fingers as he brought his hand to the back of my head. I rested my hands on his chest, allowing myself to joy of fisting his shirt to keep him here. "Tell me this, Kim," he said breathlessly, "does that feel like I don't love you?"

"You're the only one who's ever kissed me," I returned. I was trying to say that I wouldn't know what it feels to be kissed otherwise. Clearly I didn't get that point across. Jared was grinning down at me with a kind of male satisfaction that warmed my blood. "Jared, I don't -"

His mouth slanted over mine and took possession of me once again. "I think I like this part of the conversation much more," he managed. I couldn't help but giggle. "I love you, Kimberley Conwell. I love your giving nature. I love the fact that you see the good in everyone around you. You are kind, loving, forgiving, and nurturing. In all my life, even when I wasn't being a good friend to you, I have never met anyone that I've wanted to be with like I want to be with you. I love you, Kim." I tried to shake my head, to deny it. I couldn't. I wanted so desperately to believe him. "Let's make a deal, shall we?" I cocked my head to the side and regarded with as open an expression as I could manage. "Give me a year to prove it to you. At the end of a years time, if you don't love me, I'll be done with all of this."

"It's not that I don't love you." My words came to a screeching halt when I realized what I had revealed. Stupid! Why did I have to open my mouth? Why couldn't I just keep my big mouth shut? The words would undoubtedly be my undoing.

"You do?" The look of wonder on his face struck me to the core. I nodded sheepishly, ducking my head to keep him from seeing my blush. "Then why is it so hard to believe that I love you?"

Because I was nothing. I was nothing of importance, no one that people would miss if I were to disappear tonight. I was just... Kim. Quite to the contrary, Jared had friends that cared about him. A Pack of them that would be devastated if something were to happen to their dear friend. He had a family, parents that probably didn't tell him about all of his faults, but encouraged the innumerable talents. I was nothing but a girl with a horse while Jared was a legendary Spirit Warrior, a protector of a tribe. What would the people do if he were suddenly gone? Of course, I couldn't tell these things to Jared. It would only anger him. So I forced myself to keep my head ducked and shrug. That was all that needed to be done anyways. A shrug was nonchalant in its nature. A simple shrug didn't say whether or not I was upset, angry, happy, or sad. It didn't matter.

"Please, Kim, tell me," he implored. "I want to know. I promise that I'm not like your mother. I really do care what you have to say. Tell me."

"Your someone important and I'm not," I blurted. There was something that made it difficult to lie to him. "You don't see celebrities pick gutter rats from the street and fall in love with them." He growled, the sound dark and threatening. I tried to shrink away, but he held me still.

"Don't compare yourself to a gutter rat," he snarled. "You are far from something that belongs in a gutter. And besides, isn't that the kind of story that every girl dreams about?" I shrugged again. I had only ever dreamed about him. "Importance is relevant, by the way," he continued.

I furrowed my brows. "I don't understand your meaning."

"I mean that I might be important to a few people at school, but they don't really matter to me. You may not necessarily being important to them -"

"I'm not," I cut in. "We don't have to sugarcoat it, Jared. I know what I am and I'm not someone that they care about."

"But you're important to me. You're important to Ryanne. You're important to Tex. My friends will meet you and then you'll be important to them. So maybe I'm important at school and you're not. None of that matters. I would gladly forget that I ever knew them. You're more important than all of them." That threw me off. For him to decide that I was more important than all his friends, the people he'd spent so many years trying to impress.

"I suppose I have to believe you when you say things like that," I admitted. His eyes glowed with an inner light that I had never seen. "I do love you, you know," I continued before I lost my nerve. "I have since I was in seventh grade." His frown gave evidence to his confusion. "I suppose both of us are selfish enough to forget the important moments." He cracked a smile at that comment. "We were in seventh grade and the winter formal was about to happen. I wanted to go, but my mother had said no because I didn't have a date. And then Ken Greatoak asked me and she said no because she didn't trust him." He nodded, like he was remembering. "You asked me to go."

"Kim, we didn't go to the dance together," he said, a frown settling on his face now.

"I know; I told you that I'd rather not go. In truth, I was afraid of you. Well, of going to the dance with you. I liked being in the shadows, not being seen by people. You always had the people's eye." The confusion was replaced by something that was akin to troubled. "You asked me to go and when I told you that I didn't want to, you said that a pretty girl like me shouldn't be home alone. It was the first time someone had told me that I was pretty."

"You're far from pretty now," he interrupted. "Stunning is a more applicable term. Although I could say ravishing or gorgeous. Both of those would be acceptable." I rolled my eyes and shook my head; the boy was surely daft.

"I knew from that moment on that I loved you, Jared. Anyone who could call_ me_ pretty had to be a kind soul, someone that I would like to be with for the rest of my life."

"That's the reason you never lost hope in me, isn't it?" he asked. "Even when I was ignoring you and pretending like I was the coolest thing to walk the Earth, you saw goodness in me. Is this why?"

"Yes and no," I admitted. "Those words only proved what I already knew about you, Jared. A boy who sees me as a beauty and can laugh over a gallon of ice cream lost in a pool is more than just some popular face at school."

He pulled me close, every curve of my body fitting into the hard muscles of his. His arms wrapped around me, his fingers threading together at the base of my spine. He ducked himself until my arms were forced to slide over his shoulders. He cocked his head to the side then and regarded me with a bemusedly serious expression. "I do believe, Miss Conwell, that you are far too good for me." _I _was too good for _him_? Never in a million years. "Would it bother you if I were to kiss you again?" he asked me.

"Never in a million years," I replied, chuckling to myself as my _wolf_ pressed his lips to mine. Of course, the silent rumble in my throat became real when he pulled away.

"What?"

"You taste like donuts," I managed meekly. He pulled me close and laughed as well.


	22. Chapter XXI

**Author's Note: Here's the next chapter. I told you guys to enjoy the bliss. Hope you like it!**

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**Chapter XXI**

I spent all day Sunday with Jared, laughing and smiling and enjoying myself. And then Sunday night arrived.

Jared put his truck into park out front of my house. He leaned over and wrapped his arm around my shoulder. I slid across the seat until I was nestled in the safe cocoon of his arms. "Your mom's still home, isn't she?" he asked after we'd been silent for a few moments. It was strange how comfortable I was with him. I liked this side of him, being the imprint, the soulmate. I nodded, wishing that I didn't have to get out of this car. "Do you want me to come in there with you?" I looked at the clock before answering. It was well past time for me to be home. It would only anger my mother if I were to come into the house with Jared. So I shook my head. "How about I sneak in your room tonight?"

"Okay." I didn't want to leave him.

"Really?" He tipped my chin up so that I could judge the surprise on his face. There was the chance that he didn't want to stay over. He, being Jared, might have just been saying it. "I'm not trying to push, Kim."

"You're not," I promised. "You stayed over the last two nights. And besides, I'm sure my mother will be gone before tomorrow morning. Please, Jared," I found myself begging.

He kissed my forehead in a way that I think he was starting to like. "Believe me, Kim, you don't have to beg. Let me park where your mother can't see my car. Which one's your window?" he asked. I pointed to the top window on the far left of where we were facing. "Okay; I'll park and meet you up in your room, okay?"

"You might want to wait a little longer than that. I haven't been home in two days, remember?"

"What does that mean?" he laughed.

"I have to deal with my mother, Mrs. Callahan, shower, and then I'll be ready to meet you," I explained.

"So I'll go home and shower before I meet you?" He phrased it like a question, so I nodded. "Fine," he sighed. "I'll see you real soon." He kissed me again, although it was far more heated than a light peck on the lips. "Okay, okay," he groaned, "I should get going. I'll see you soon."

As I had predicted, my mother was sitting in her formal sitting room, an anthology of Emily Dickinson in her lap. "Where have you been?" she asked without looking up from her book. "You've been gone for two days. Callahan has been worried sick," she continued.

"I'll go and see her before I head to bed," I managed to say without anger.

"You did not tell me where you've been."

I jerked my chin up. "I was at the barn with my horse and Tex Saturday. I spent the day with Jared Littlecreek today." There was no point in lying to her.

"I told you that I didn't like that," she said, although she was still looking down at the poetry. "I thought that we had talked about that."

"He's important to me, Mother. Jared helped me after the girls died," I said, trying to get her to understand.

"Don't pass off their cowardice as an injustice, Kimberley. The girls killed themselves because they were too weak to handle the judgements," she said dismissively. Finally, she set the book aside, shoved up off the cushions. She set the book in the glass bookcase.

"Mother, I would prefer that we didn't speak of it," I began. "We clearly disagree about this." I took a step away from her with the intention of crawling up the stairs and into a shower. While Jared had told me that he loved me when I hadn't showered in two days, smelling like something cleaner than the barn might held keep his affections. My mother's arm wrapped around my forearm and yanked me back.

"Have you forgotten how you are expected to talk to your mother?" she questioned. "The tone that you just took is hardly acceptable."

"Mother, I didn't mean it that way," I was quick to say.

"If you insist on acting like a child, I will just have to punish you as such," she said. Her hand squeezed around my arm, dragging me towards the cellar stairs.

"No, Mother, please!"

I fumbled down the stairs behind her, jerking and pulled as much as I dared. One misstep and I would break my neck on the stone steps. "Hush up," she commanded. My mother was just as obsessed with the old ages as I was. Te difference was that I wanted the chivalry that existed then to come to the present day. My mother loved the way that the old ages raised their children. It was all about hard work and dedication and loyalty. My dungeon, as I had called it when I was a child, was one of the ways that she brought the ideals back.

Whenever I had spoken out of turn, used a tone that I shouldn't have used, she brought me down here. The old wine cellar, which hadn't been grand enough for my mother's tastes, was instead converted to my dungeon. Except that there was no conversion. The wine racks were still there, the chiller still functioning. There was a single lightbulb that tended to flicker while I was stuck there. It was every child's personal hell.

My mother had originally wanted to finish school and be a historian. She wanted to revive the old morals. Instead, she found that the fashion industry was much more suited to her style. Still, she'd minored and history and become obsessed with anything that talked about old family dynamics. "Mother, please, I promise that I won't talk back to you again. I'm sorry," I begged. Though I knew she would only keep me in here overnight and that I would fall asleep quickly to escape my demons, the hour that I would spend awake in the stone room would torture me for days to come. At least until I was safe in my bed for a few days. Being stuck in school wouldn't help either. It was just another set of walls that I was stuck within.

"Get inside, Kimberley. Reflect on what you've done," she commanded. My mother had that wild look in her eyes again. Sometimes, I don't think even she realized what she was doing to me.

"Please, I will reflect inside the comfort of my own room," I tried to argue. "I promise, Mother. I could even write you a letter about my wrongdoing. Please!"

"Like you should have comfort after the way you spoke to me. Get inside, Kimberley. I don't want to hear another word about this. Continue to argue and you can stay in there until lunch tomorrow."

My mother snapped shut, fear coursing through me. She had to have lost her mind. My father had stormed out of the house because of this. The door was slammed shut then. I heard the lock getting snapped into place. My heart pounded in my chest, the pain coursing through me. I pounded my hands against door. "Mother please!" I shouted. "I'm sorry!"

Just like that, I was a little kid again. I was terrified, sad, huddled in the corner. I closed my eyes tight, looking at the wall. The light flickered suddenly, causing me to scream and shove myself back against the brick wall. Rational thought fled from my brain as I rested my forehead on my kneecaps. "Nothing is going to come and get you," I whispered to myself. "It's just a dark room." That was what Mrs. Callahan used to say when she would come to release me from the prison.

The words didn't help me, though. I wanted out of this room. The demons weren't the things that would come to attack me, but the thoughts that would jump into my head. Like my father... And the fact that he wouldn't be her to save me this time.

_"What you're doing is wrong!" _I could hear it like it was yesterday, like he was still standing outside the thick door arguing with my mother. _"How could you ever think that sticking her in that cellar is an appropriate punishment? Have you thought about what could be done there?"_

_"You are overreacting, Shawn. There is nothing down there. It's not like I put her in a house that was neglected. Besides, in that cellar, there are no distractions. She has to think about her actions."_

_"She's fourteen. I think that we can agree she didn't mean to anger you. Especially knowing that _**_this_**_ is the punishment." I heard a clatter of things outside and then the door was thrown open. "Come on, Kimberley," he shouted. "Go up to your room, please," he commanded then. _

I'd heard them shouting downstairs then. Then my father had left, jumping on his motorcycle and speeding down the road. But he never came back. Finally, my thoughts and my grief were too muddled and I finally drifted off to sleep.


	23. Chapter XXII

**Author's Note: It's nice to be able to update normally again, isn't it? Enjoy!**

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**Chapter XXII**

I was startled awake by a scratching sound and the screech of the door at the top of the stairs being opened. It was an irrational fear, but one that that struck me to the bone. I knew in that instant that monsters had finally come to get me, to punish me for my father's death. "If I had just been a good girl that day," I managed brokenly, "he wouldn't have found out." I waited until the footsteps halted to rock myself back and fort. "Please don't kill me," I begged the darkness. "Please, please."

"Kim?" a voice hissed. But this voice wasn't dangerous. It wasn't a demon come to swallow me up and take me to Hell to pay for my sins. This voice reached through the fear, silently promised me that I would be safe. "Kim, are you down here?" He sighed harshly, his footsteps starting up again. "I don't need to be caught by your mother, Kim. I know you're down here. Jesus, where is she?" Jared? It was Jared. Could there be a greater thing in the world than his voice? "Kim, I know that you're down here. I can smell her damn it," he muttered. And yet, what if one of those hellhounds could make himself _sound_ like Jared.

"Jared?" I asked timidly. It couldn't be him. How would he know to come to my rescue?

"Kim? Where are you?" I braced my hands on the wall behind me and shoved myself up so that I was standing in the corner. I wrapped my arms tight around my waist and tried to cower. "Kim, where are you? This isn't funny."

"Jared?" I asked again. "Is it you? Like _really_ you?"

"Kim, you're scaring me. Are you - - what are you doing in that little room?"

"Please let me out," I begged. The smell of him seeped through the door. It had to be him. I suppose that if it was some demon on the other side of the door, I deserved it then. It clearly wanted me desperately enough to reenact everything about the man I loved. "Jared, please, if that's you, let me out of here. I'm begging you." I could feel myself trembling. The air around me was getting colder my the second as the night grew deeper.

My desperation must have sounded more prevalent than I thought. There was a clatter and a bang, but not the grunt that was usually associated with Mrs. Callahan opening the door. Light flooded the little cellar room, brighter than the flickering bulb. "What are you doing in here?" he asked. But it was really Jared. Really and truly, no joke, Jared standing in front of me. No demon, no hellhound, no bounty hunter, no monster. Just Jared.

On shaking legs, I launched myself from the corner and into his hard chest. It was like hitting another wall, but this one was infinitely warmer. I could feel myself growing hysterical, my sobs getting the best of me. I buried my face in his neck and let him hold me close. He lifted me off my feet. "Sh, Kim, sh," he implored. "You're going to make yourself sick. It's okay. I'm here now. I'm here." He took a step out of the room, managing to keep his arms wrapped around me and close the damned door at the same time.

Still, I couldn't stop crying. "What were you doing in there, Kim?" he asked me. In fact, I'm pretty sure he asked the question a lot, but I couldn't answer him. I just kept crying, holding him tight, and reveling in the fact that someone was holding me. Someone real, someone who seemed to care. "Kim, you have to stop. You're going to make yourself throw up." He was sitting now, sinking into the cushioning of my mattress. "You're safe. Whatever you're afraid of, I'll protect you from it. You're safe here." Here, in his arms I was safe. But only in his arms. God only knew what else could happen to me when I wasn't there.

He shifted around again. When I finally managed to open my eyes, Jared was all the way back against my headboard, cradling me in his arms like I was made of nothing more than spun sugar. Then my stomach rebelled against me, just like he had predicted. I lunged towards the bedroom and into the bathroom, Jared following just behind me. "Kim? What's wrong?" I leaned over the toilet, having forgotten the lid. Jared's hand reached beyond me and flipped it open for me, catching my hair in his fist.

His hot hand drew soothing circles on my back while I lost the meals that I had eaten throughout the day. Even then, it wasn't enough. I heaved and heaved, my stomach dry but my muscles spasming. "Okay, Kim," he breathed. "Come on." His hands wrapped around my waist and gently lifted me from the ground to the empty counter space. "Here's the wall, sweets. Lean against this while I clean up."

"This is so embarrassing," I muttered into the wall. Jared just chuckled in response.

"Here's some water, Kim. Let's rinse your mouth out. It'll make you feel better." He held the paper dixie cup to my lips and urged me to take a few sips. "Small sips; you don't want to get sick again." I heard the toilet flush while he waited for me to take a drink of the cool liquid. I slumped forward into his shoulder, leaning my forehead against his chest. One long limb twined around me and rubbed at my back again as his other hand pried the cup away. "Let's get you to bed, Kim."

"Can I walk? Please?" I couldn't take it if I couldn't feel the ground underneath my feet. I wanted the warm wood, not our cold concrete. He promised me that I could and then lowered me to the ground, keeping a firm hand around my waist. "Th-th-thank you for c-c-coming to get me," I managed to get out of my teeth.

"Sh, Kim," he implored. "Let's get you into bed. Okay?"

"I can't go back to sleep, Jared. They'll get me," I began to cry.

"Nothing is going to get you. I promise." He led me to my chair and helped me from my clothes. I was absently grateful for the fact that I had worn a sports bra, but didn't have much a chance to think on it. I could hear Jared cursing and my drawers rattling as he searched for my pajama bottoms. "Here we go. Is that comfortable?" If I had been thinking correctly, I would have said no. I would have told him that I wanted to wear a shirt, not just sweatpants and the bra. But at the moment, all I really wanted was to be in his arms again. So I nodded and let him haul me into his arms.

He held me tight for a brief second and then lowered me to the cold bedsheets. I felt abnormally cold without his boy right there. The light wool blanket and comforter were pulled from my bed then, leaving only my pale yellow sheet. The bed dipped and bounced as he crawled in behind me, his hand snaking underneath the blanket and resting just under my ribcage. If I had been more coherent, I would have been extremely uncomfortable with it all. "I don't want to go to sleep," I complained.

"Okay, sweetie, you don't have to go to sleep. Tell me about the cellar," he said. I shook my head, not wanting to tell him the truth. "Okay then," he continued, like nothing was wrong, "tell me about what you want to do. You tell me."

"Could we just sit here for a little while," I begged.

"Of course," he replied quietly. His thumb stroked lazily over my stomach, like he had all the time in the world. He began humming, although I couldn't place the song. I recognized the tune, though. "Kim, are you still awake?" he asked after what seemed like an eternity. I felt myself falling asleep, though. I was kind of shocked that I had relaxed enough. I nodded against my pillow and snuggled myself against his chest. "Why were you in the cellar, Kim?" I whimpered in response. "How about you don't _tell_ me, but you just say yes or no?" I hesitated for a second. I suppose him _guessing_ wouldn't be me telling him about my mother.

So I nodded and threaded my fingers through his. "Did you go down there because you wanted to?" he asked first. I shook my head adamantly at that, yawning at the end. "Did Mrs. Callahan send you down there?" I shook again. "Your mother?" I trembled at that, unable to give neither an affirmative or a negative. "Kim, did you mother send you down there?" he demanded. I gave a hiccup before I started crying again. "Has she done this before?" I nodded at that. That would be an easy answer.

"Sh, sh," he said then. "It's okay, Kim. I'm here now."

"I'm tired." He kissed my neck, his breath washing over my skin. "They'll get us."

"How about I make sure that nothing comes and gets us?" he suggested. "You can get some rest for a little." If one of us was awake, they couldn't attack. The demons would only come when I wasn't there to fight them off. "I'll keep you safe, Kimmie."


	24. Chapter XXIII

**Author's Note: Okay, so here's the next chapter. It's kind of repetitive, but gives some context and set up. Enjoy!**

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**Chapter XXIII**:**_Jared's Point of View_**

I sat in her bedroom for nearly three hours, but she never came up the stairs. I heard the end of her argument with her mother and then the women's footsteps coming up the stairs and down the hall. But Kim didn't come up. I paced the length of the bedroom, my arms folded across my chest. Finally I decided to go searching for her. "Kim?" I hissed as I shoved the bedroom door open. "Kim, where are you?" I called into the darkness. I crept through the house, pushing doors aside and peering in, but she clearly wasn't upstairs.

Once I reached the front room in the lower level of the house, her scent swirled around my nose. It blended with a little fear as I neared the kitchen, which didn't sit well with me. I searched the downstairs, just trying to make sure that I didn't miss her anyways. "I mean, if you didn't want me to stay the night, she just had to say no," I muttered when I had opened up the kitchen pantry and still not found her. Her trail led to the kitchen, but she wasn't in the large space. I followed the smell all the way into the pantry, but she wasn't there either.

As I turned to leave, a door caught my eyes. It looked like it led down to a cold cellar, like the old ones that used to be under big houses like this. "Kim?" I called down the dark stairs. The place smelled dank, like mold had been growing and only recently been cleaned. "Kim are you down here?" Where could she have possibly gone? I took the stairs two at a time, nearly tripping and falling on my ass more than a few times. "Kim?" I called a little louder. It was doubtful that her mother or housekeeper would hear me from the underground. "Kim are you down here?" I repeated.

I walked around the basement, but only found another little wall and a smaller room. The room just to the right of the entrance was full of stainless steel racks and a state of the art win chiller. "I don't need to get caught by your mother, Kim," I hissed. The woman already didn't like me because of my sister. God only knows what she would do if she caught me sneaking into the house. "I know you're down here." There was no response, but literally no where else in the house for her to be. "Jesus, where is she?" I demanded.

"Jared?" The fearful calling of my name tugged at my heart and urged me towards the other wall that I had been ignoring.

"Kim? Where are you?" I stood by the wall that I thought I'd heard her calling from, but couldn't figure out where she would be. "Kim, where are you?" I repeated. "This isn't funny."

"Jared?" She was _inside_ the wall? "Is it you? Like _really_ you?" What was going on in there?

"Kim, you're scaring me. Are you - -" I found a wooden beam set in some brackets with the locks set firmly in place, locked with a chain. "What are you doing in that little room?" It must have been the old wine cellar before her mother built the new one.

"Please let me out," she sobbed. My heart literally ached. "Jared, please, if that's you, let me out of here. I'm begging you." I was pretty sure that the salty smell that was coming from underneath the door was her tears. She was _crying_? She wasn't hurt. I couldn't feel anything on my side of the imprint. But she was desperate, sobbing. I pulled the chains from the walls and slid the wooden beam from it's place. The door was probably a little heavy but nothing I noticed. I grabbed the thick slab of metal and almost managed to pull it from the hinges.

"What are you doing in here?" I asked. She was cowering in the far corner, her hands shaking behind her. Her normally tan skin was almost white, her whole body racked with shivers. She gave a quiet half sob, half choke and threw herself from the wall. I put my hands out in just enough time to catch her. Her hair was flat on one side, like she had fallen asleep down here and used the wall like a pillow. It was on my lips to tease her for accidentally locking herself in the cellar when one of her hot tears hit my neck. This wasn't right. Something was off. She was petrified, acting like she had just be saved from the clutches of Lucifer himself.

"Sh, Kim, sh," I begged her when she couldn't seem to get a full breath of air. "You're going to make yourself sick." What the hell had happened to her? "It's okay. I'm here now. I'm here." I wouldn't anything happen to her." She was dangling in the air, her arms coiled about my neck. The room gave her so much fear that I was afraid to leave it open. I shoved it closed with my foot so that she wouldn't have to see it at all. "What were you doing in there, Kim?" I begged. She shook with the emotion of it. "Why were you in the cellar?" I asked her at least five more times, but she didn't answer.

"Kim, you have to stop. You're going to make yourself throw up." You're going to wake up the entire house was what I really wanted to say. I was amazed that we had made our way to her bedroom without waking anyone up. I closed her door and got us to her bed safe and sound. I used the headboard to brace myself while I held her tight. "You're safe. Whatever you're afraid off, I'll protect you from it. You're safe here." She seemed to relax a little more, which made it easier for us to get comfortable.

Her beautiful brown eyes opened to look up at me. Then she jumped from the bed and sprinted down to the bathroom. "Kim? What's wrong?" I watched in horror as she emptied her stomach into the porcelain toilet. She was shaking even more than she had been when I found her. I got her and the bathroom all cleaned up, hoping no one in her house would come to check on her. She asked to walk, which I reluctantly obliged. I wanted her in my arms and safe from whatever she feared.

"I can't go back to sleep, Jared. They'll get me," she sobbed again.

"Nothing is going to get you. I promise." I was having the hardest time not looking at her while I stripped her down to her sports bra and underwear. The gentleman in me told me that I should put a shirt on her, but I just _couldn't_. So I left her sitting there, looking through her drawers desperately to find something to put over legs that I would probably spend the rest of the night dreaming about. "Here we go. Is that comfortable?" She nodded quickly.

It seemed like a lifetime later that I had her lying beside me in the bed. I managed to find out what she was doing in the cellar. "Has she done this before?" She nodded immediately. My arms were shaking uncontrollably then, but I don't think that Kim noticed. How was I supposed to protect her from the man that raised her. She was crying again, but I figured it was best to hold her tight and make sure that she knew I was here for her.

"Sh, sh," I muttered into her hair. "It's okay, Kim. I'm here now."

"I'm tired," she admitted. This was good. She needed sleep, desperately needed some rest and relief from everything. I kissed the back of her neck. "They'll get us." _Us_ now. She was afraid for both of us now. That wasn't better.

"How about I make sure that nothing comes and gets us? You can get some rest for a little. I'll keep you safe, Kimmie." I hadn't called her that in ages. It seemed to take forever for her to fall asleep, it finally happened. "How am I supposed to protect you, Kim?" I asked her. "You're mother is crazy. We're going to have to figure something out." I couldn't leave her here with her mother. "Spend the day at my house," I thought out loud. I reached over and smoothed her hair away from her face. "We could go to school and then head over to my house. You could spend the day with my mother." She grumbled in her sleep, a quiet sob escaping her lips.

She snuggled herself closer to my chest. "I suppose it won't matter when your mother leaves again. It'll just be in the mean time," I commented. I couldn't figure out her mother. What kind of woman locks her child in a cellar? What punishment was that? That could be some kind of child endangerment, couldn't it? There was nothing I could do about it at the moment. People had always assumed that Kim's family had everything that they needed. Hell, I assumed that she was happy. At least, as happy as you could be after your sister is raped and commits suicide. But how long had this been going on? It clearly haunted her, that cellar.

Holding my imprint in a real bed for the first time, I pressed my cheek into her shoulder. I couldn't take care of this at the moment. I let my fingers play with the spandex fabric on her ribs and ducked my chin to place a kiss to her shoulder as well. "Good night, Kimmie. I'll keep you safe."

I only got to sleep for an hour or two before Kim's shout woke me. "No, no, no, please!" she sobbed.

"Kim, wake up. You're going to wake up the house," I whispered. She thrashed in my arms. She cried again and again and begged something or someone to leave her alone. Finally, I slid my hand down her waist to her hip. I gave it a hard jerk to shake her whole body. Her eyes flew open. "It's okay, Kim. I'm here."

"They didn't get you?"

"No; I'm right here to protect you. Remember?" She nodded and turned towards me. My hand slid from her waist to her back, feeling the ridges of her spine underneath my finger tips.

That was the way that it worked the rest of the night. Every few hours, she would wake and scream. I was getting more and more restless every time though. Finally, moments before the dawn light officially broke through, she woke up again. But this time, when I managed to get her awake again, she didn't ask her question about her nightmares getting me. "You'll keep me safe," she whispered, rubbing her cheek against my shoulder like a kitten. "Jared, you can keep me safe."


	25. Chapter XXIV

**Author's Note: Okay, here's the next chapter. There will not be a triple update tonight (sorry!). I have homework to get done. Enjoy!**

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**Chapter XXIV**

I woke slowly, feeling like I had slept more peacefully than I could have imagined. It was probably the dreams. In my fantasies, Jared was there with his arms opened wide and a bright smile on his face. He'd laid down alongside me, keeping me safe all through the night. Even in the darkest moments of my dreams, where I was a little girl locked in the dungeon, Jared was there to pull me out. The light streaming from my window hit me full in the face, everything behind my lids turning red. "Kim? Are you finally awake?"

It wasn't a dream. Jared was truly here, his cheek resting against my shoulder. "You're really here," I breathed. He chuckled, the sound resonating through his chest and my back. "You found me last night?"

"It was early this morning, actually. But yes, I found you. To answer your earlier question, it's really me. I'm really here." The limb that was wrapped about my waist tightened and tugged me back into the solid breadth of his chest. "If I were you, I would stay in this bed as long as possible. Your mother isn't in the best of moods."

I jumped up straight. "You pulled me out of the dung- - out of the cellar," I amended. "I wasn't there when she came down to get me this morning." He nodded solemnly. "She didn't find you here, did she?" He shook his head. "She had to have done something. It's not like her to let things go." My mother's anger should be legendary. She certainly had a way to strike fear into the heart of any man.

"She fired Mrs. Callahan, Kim," he replied. His eyes looking down at the counterpane. "She assumed that Mrs. Callahan was the one who let you out last night. She called it a, um, I think she said it was a -"

"A betrayal," I filled in with a nod. "My mother values loyalty above all else. If someone that worked for her were to let me go, she would consider it a lack of loyalty. It's a miracle if Mrs. Callahan escaped without injury."

"She did. I made sure to listen for that." I nodded.

"Who's the new housekeeper? Do you know that?"  
He swallowed hard like he couldn't get enough moisture into his throat. I eyed him wearily, waiting for some response. "She said that she wouldn't be needing a new housekeeper. She made it sound like she was going to be staying here for a while." I wasn't sure if I screamed _no_ or if it was just in my head. Jared's arms swooped around me, his hands gently combing through my hair. "It's going to be okay, Kim. I promise. Nothing is going to happen to you."

"She's going to be here more. She can't be here," I muttered. I would die. I would surely die if I had to watch myself every moment of the day. "No, no, no." He hushed me again and brought me over his lap like he had earlier.

"I'm going to figure this out, Kim," he said. "I won't let anything happen to you. She won't hurt you."

"You can't know that. What happens when you're not here?" I couldn't speak up to my mother. It wasn't in my nature to talk back to people, to speak out, least of al with my mother. All my life, I'd been told and shown what would happen if I told her what I really thought. What I really felt. I couldn't do it to myself. I sank my teeth into my lip and tried to calm my nerves.

"You're not going to be alone. Ever."

"Ever?"

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but your mother is a woman who wants her family to _look_ perfect. She would rather lie through her teeth than have people know what's really going on." I nodded. It was an accurate enough description. "_If_ you have to be home, which I'm going to try and make sure you're here as little as possible, you'll be here with someone else. Your mother can't do anything if you always have someone here with you."

"But she'll get suspicious, Jared. I've never had friends, especially not ones that I brought around. She'll know that something is up."

His hand slapped down over my mouth, a finger pressed to his own lips to tell me to be quiet. "Your mom's coming in here. Lay down and pretend to be asleep." He waited until I nodded to remove his hand and dash off to my walk-in closet. I threw myself down on the coverlet, finding the indent of my body in the mattress. I rested my hand on the pillow and tried to pretend that everything was okay.

I heard the door open with a creak, my mother's footsteps plodding into the room. "Kimberley Marie Conwell, it is far past time for you to be awake. Mrs. Callahan already called you in sick, but that is not an excuse for you to lie around in bed for the entirety of the day. Wake up." Jared caught my eye through the crack in the door. He nodded, silently telling me that I was supposed to pretend to wake up. So I slowly sat up and scrubbed at my eyes, pretending like I was just now rousing.

"Good morning, Mother," I managed meekly.

"It is time for you to get dressed and out of this bed. You and I have a few things to talk about. The least of which will be your punishment," she announced. My heart pounded in my chest without fail, images of the damn dungeon filling my mind. My eyes flittered back to Jared in the closet. He nodded and motioned for me to continue.

"Yes Mother," I whispered. I flipped y legs over the side of the bed and stood, walking with my mother to the door.

"You will be down these stairs completely read for the day, hair, makeup, dressed, in twenty minutes. It was one thing your father always fought me. But he's not around to defend you this time is he? Not that it really matters. You will be downstairs in twenty minutes. Understood?"

"Yes, Mother." She pulled the door closed with a loud bang, her high heels slapping on the staircase as she descended. I pulled the closet door open immediately, searching for something acceptable to wear. I wanted to wear my jeans, my boots, my plaid shirt and tank top. None of those things would be okay with her, though.

"How did your father die?" Jared asked, stepping out from the closet. He captured my shoulders in his hands and stopped all motion. "Kim, what was she talking about?"

"My father thought that my mother's methods were - - drastic. She wanted my sister and I to be beauty queens, but I never had it in me. So she focused on my sister and left me behind. But whenever I came into her sight, she hated me. The day that Dad died, Mother had put me in the dun - - in the cellar. He found out, came down to yell at her. If I remember, my dad told her that she was a cruel human being. He told her he wanted a divorce and that he was taking both of us with him. My mother brought up something from his past, I don't remember what it was."

His fingers came up to brush the tear that hung suspended on my lashes. "He left?"

"To go get a lawyer, I think. At least, that's the last thing I remember him saying to her. He told her that she was a wicked woman and he would be damned if he let her put that evil in his children. He took off on his motorcycle and crashed on his way into Seattle. I was the only one who heard their fight. He left and left me with my mom. But Jared, I need to get dressed right now."

"No, you don't. You stay up here for a little while. I'm going downstairs and I'll get you out of here," he replied.

"We're - - You're taking me out of here?" No one had ever defied my mother and succeeded. My father had tried... "You can't Jared. She'll hurt you."

"Nothing can hurt me, Kim. Except for a vampire, of course. It's time that you got out of here, Kim. Time that you got out and no one made you come back."

"But Jared, she's my mother. Where will I go? What will I do?" I asked him. There was no where for me to go.

"I'll figure it out, okay? Just trust me." When I gave my nod, he stepped out the closet area and opened the bedroom window. I watched with nothing short of fear as he tossed his legs over the side of the window and just dropped like it was nothing. "Stay up there." I paced, unsure what to do next. When I was just about to defy him and get dressed, a knock sounded at the front door.

I heard my mother's snapping steps as she marched towards the front door. I sprinted to the bannister, looking down at the scene below. Jared stood in the front door, my mother's frown clear. "What would you like, Mr. Littlecreek?"


	26. Chapter XXV

**Author's Note: Here's tonight's chapter. Just a few minor announcements. Please visit my profile for updated information, including a new timetable that I will (hopefully) be sticking to. Secondly, be on the look out for Collin's story ****_Pretending_****. It will (again, hopefully) be up in the next 3-5 days. Thirdly, I hope you all enjoy!**

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**Chapter XXV**

"May I come in, Mrs. Conwell?" Jared kept his manners about him; that would help him. My mother, however, didn't seem the least bit concerned with his manners. "Well then, permit me." He shouldered passed my mother and rushed up the stairs. I hadn't dressed, but I had pulled a tank top on over my sports bra. He found my bedroom with ease, fire glowing in the dark depths of his eyes. "Come on, Kim, we're leaving."

"You're what?" my mother demanded of him. "And what makes you think that my daughter wants to go anywhere with the likes of you?"  
"Mrs. Conwell, I just came by to set the record straight. _I_ let Kim out of the cellar last night." Her face turned a wonderful shade of purple. "Before I even get into the matter of what kind of parent locks her daughter, no matter what their age, in a cellar, I thought I'd make sure that everything was clear." He pulled me in tighter to his side. "I wouldn't let _anyone_ endure the kind of torture that you put your daughter through, never mind someone I love as much as I love your daughter. Kim is going to come home with me, spend some time with my family."

"Who do you think you are?" she asked then, her brows winging upward with disbelief. "What I decide to do to discipline my daughter is none of your business. Get your hands off my daughter and get yourself _out_ of my house."

"I don't think that I will," he replied just as rudely.

"Would you rather have me call the cops? After all, you were breaking and entering last night," she threatened tightly.

"I agree, you should call the cops."

"Jared," I hissed, shoving an elbow into his ribcage.

"I would love to show them where you put your daughter." I watched my mother's eyes drop, the fear in them becoming evident. "Now, like I was saying. I'm taking your daughter out of this house. We will be back at some point in the next couple of days to get her things." I looked up to find his eyes dead serious. In fact, he looked rather vicious. "Before you start making threats to Kim or Geronimo or anything else that she finds important, let's just think about what this could mean. If you were to take Kim's horse from her, it would undoubtedly raise questions. I don't know if you've seen your daughter ride lately, but if she were to suddenly stop competing, people would notice.

"And in noticing that Kim was no longer completing, people would ask questions. How do you intend to explain that your daughter's boyfriend took her from this house after you locked her in the basement? You couldn't, you see. Because in order to explain that, you would _either_ have to tell them that you were abusing your own daughter." My mother opened her mouth to negate him, to tell him that she hadn't been abusing me, but Jared pressed forward. "_Or_ you have to tell people that your daughter was disrespectful, rude, and altogether disobedient. Now, which of those things would you rather admit to?"

He turned around and grabbed a few things from my drawers. It didn't take him a long time, but it was long enough for my mother to make eye contact with me. I could feel her hatred glaring at me. My lips trembled, my heart beating rapidly. My immediate thought was how I could diffuse the situation. That was the person that I was; I was the peacekeeper. "Is this what you want, Kimberley?" she asked me, her eyes daring me to tell her that I _did_ want to leave.

"Mother, I think that it would be best if we had time apart. Perhaps it would be for the better if I went with Jared for the time being." She tramped towards me, her hand already raised to deliver a blow that I was more than prepared for.

"I'm begging you," Jared said in a violent tone that sounded like anything but begging. "I'm begging you to hit her and give me another reason to take her away from here and call you out on al your shit."

"I will not tolerate that language in my house, Jared," she snapped.

"I will not tolerate that violence towards someone I love," he retorted. "You won't hit her. You won't put her in that cellar. You won't touch her again. Kim, are you ready to go?" I nodded, looking away from my mother and towards Jared. "Come on." His arms were wrapped tight around me and my things as we marched down the stairs. My mother kept screaming, shouting after me in a manner that was decidedly unladylike. Jared kept me wrapped in his arms and pressed against his chest, practically carrying me down the stairs and to his car. The boom of the front door slamming shut echoing behind me.

No words were spoken until I found myself sitting in front of Jared's house, my arms wrapped around shins and my chin resting on my knees. "You did want to leave, right? Because the last thing that I want is to order you around like your mother does."

"I wanted to go. I just didn't know how to leave," I admitted. "I just wish that you had told me about your plan. I would have liked to grab some of my things." Like my boots, I whispered to myself.

"Like these?" He leaned behind into the backseat of the extended cab and pulled the dusty leather up.

"You brought them?" I asked breathlessly. "How did you - -" I couldn't finish the thought. Every time that I thought Jared cared about me more than anyone else in the world, he managed to find another way to tell me that I was wrong. He loved me more than anyone that I had ever met before. He loved me in a way that no one ever would.

"I have enough worries when you're horseback riding under all the _right_ conditions. God only knows what would be going through my head if you decided to ride in tennis shoes or something. Tex has already explained the danger of that stuff to me." I decided that this was not the appropriate moment to tell him that I rode bareback and barefoot on the beach in the summer. "What are you thinking about?"

"She's still my mother, Jared. There are _good_ memories from my childhood. Like the first time she took me to get a pedicure," I explained. "I know that there's something good in her. She loved my sister, she loved my father."

"I don't understand what you're trying to say. Because to me it sounds like you're telling me that you want to go _back_," he snarled.

"I don't want to go back; I promise." He nodded curtly. But I would like for you to understand where I'm coming from." I swallowed hard, my throat swelling up. "I normally don't care if people understand me or not Jared. But it's important to me for you to - - to just... get it."

He exhaled heavily, his lips forming a perfect circle as he breathed. "I want to understand, Kim. I do. I want you to understand, though, the thought of you in the big house alone with her - - " He shuddered. I laid a hand down on his forearm, sliding it up to the crook of his elbow. "Your my imprint, Kim. And probably the only person who knows the real me any more. I didn't realize that your mother was doing that to you. I didn't realize what it was really like at home for you. If I had known, Kim... Oh, God Kim, if I had known about this I would have done anything to stop it."

"I told you, Jared, there are good things from my childhood. Like my dad. All the time that my mother spent hating me meant that my dad spent that time making it up to me. I learned to fish, to rebuild a car engine, to build a boat. I learned a lot of stuff that I wouldn't want to give up for anything."

He kissed my forehead sweetly and brought his body close to mine. "I wasn't there back then, Kim. But I'm here now. I want to be here now." I nodded, because I understood. "Before we go inside, though, I wanted to give you a few warnings."

"Jared," I sighed with a chuckle, "everyone's family is a little crazy. I mean, did you _meet_ my mother? I'm sure it's fine."

"No, Kim, you have to listen to me. There is something about my mom that you don't know. Your mom is crazy in her own regard, Kim, but mine - - After the incident... She snapped. The doctors don't know what to call it."

"I don't understand."

"She doesn't - - She doesn't remember anything."


	27. Chapter XXVI

**Author's Note: Here's the next chapter. Also, if you're interested, go check out Collin's story ****_Pretending_****. Enjoy!**

**Chapter XXVI**

"What do you mean she doesn't remember anything?" I asked curiously. I could see shadows moving about in the front living room.

"The doctors don't know what it is," he explained. "They think it's some kind of coping mechanism. The last thing that she remembers is telling the girls to have fun in the city. That's it. So when she talks, she doesn't talk about things that have happened. In a lot of ways, she's still waiting for the girls to come home. She tells us all the time, Kim. She believes that they're going to come home any minute."

"I don't understand." Joyce Littlecreek had seemed lucid at the funerals. She'd cried and read her speeches and done all the proper motherly things that one was supposed to do. She'd seemed fully aware of what was going on back then.

"You will," he promised. He reached over me and grabbed a hold of the handle, pushing the door open and nudging me out as well. Once we were out, he took hold of my hand. I tried to rub my thumb over the back of his hand, seeking to give him the comfort that he so readily gave me. I could feel his agitation, the nerves gnawing at my gut and trying to make me uneasy. He sighed, his chest rising and falling as he put his hand on the door and shoved it aside.

His father was standing in the living room, his laptop on his legs and the remote for the television lying on the arm of the couch. "Jared, is that you?" he called.

"And company." All too quickly, in moves that were well rehearsed, the computer was set aside and the television clicked off. I watched his father hustle about the room and lean down to murmur something into Joyce's ear. The woman herself didn't seem too concerned with what was happening around her. "It's Kim, Dad," Jared added. It was like someone had stuck a pin in a balloon. All seemed to calm almost instantly. His father relaxed, his mother seemed unperturbed. Jared, however, was still stiff.

"Kimberley!" his father exclaimed as I neared them. He embraced me warmly with a kind of fatherly affection I missed more than I could describe. "It's been so long. How are you?" He still hadn't released me, though. I simply shrugged against him. He pulled back, his hands cupping my shoulders too. "It's so nice to see you again. How have you been?"

"Very well, Mr. Littlecreek. How are you?"

"Good." He let me go then. Jared took a step forward to claim my waist and pull me back against his side. "What brings you two here?" he asked, now suspicious. I tried my best to keep my spine stiff and not act like I was concerned about his father's opinion.

"I was hoping that Kim could stay in the guest bedroom for the next couple of days," Jared replied just as calmly. "She needs a place to stay."

"We both know that the guest bedroom is all set up," his father replied I couldn't help but think that in my family, he would be taking on the role of my _mother_. While he stood there greeting us, Joyce Littlecreek was humming to herself in her chair. She seemed to be happily unaware of anything and everything that had to do with us. "And, of course, Kim, you're always welcome here with us. We would be more than happy to have you."

He sank down on the small sofa alongside his wife and gently patted her leg. "Joyce, look who came to visit us," he said in a quiet voice. "Kim came by, sweetheart." Joyce lifted her head to look up at me. Her eyes were glazed over, like she wasn't really seeing the world around her. She lifted her eyes to meet mine and smiled at me.

"Where have the you been?" she asked me, seeming just a lucid as I remembered her being. Even when we went to the hotel to escape the pity that we were all getting, she seemed like she was completely fine. I stared at her with confusion, wanting to look at Jared but afraid to break contact with his mother. "Katie, dear, where is Amy?" she asked.

Katie. She thought that I was my sister. Jared stiffened beside me and shot a glance to his father. There was some unspoken conversation going on well over my head. I stayed still and tried to figure out what to do next. I could play along, allow his mother to think that I was my sister. She was only trying to cope with the things that have happened to her daughter. "Sorry, Mrs. Littlecreek. Amy said that she forgot some of her things at school. She's going to honk when she has her things and then we're leaving."

"I hope the two of you have some fun tonight, dear." I nodded with a polite smile.

"Amy wanted a different shirt from her bedroom, Mrs. Littlecreek. I'll be just a moment," I replied. I marched up the stairs, acting like I knew the place as well as my sister had. I didn't know where I was going though. Jared's footsteps pounded behind me, though, relieving the need for me to figure this out.

"I told you," he breathed, worry etching the lines of his face. "She's gone a little crazy.

"She just doesn't know how to react, Jared. She lost her only daughter." I stepped up a step so that I was level with his eyes. "It's okay, Jared. At least your mother still loves you." He didn't give a response. I could see sadness in his eyes, though. He brought his arms around me and hauled me the two steps down so that I was mashed against his chest.

"Thank you," he whispered them.

"For what? I didn't do anything." I liked being wrapped in his arms, having him hold me. He sighed and pushed me a step up. Thank God he kept his arms around me because I would have surely fallen on the stairs.

"You could have told her that Katie and Amy died," he said. "We've done it before. All we were really trying to do was get her to see reality. It made her snap, though. She freaked out, told my father to stop lying to story short, we learned better than to try and shock her out of her, well, out of -"

"Out of _her_ reality," I finished for him. I nodded. "I would much rather live in a world where our sisters were still alive."

"She's been living there too long, Kim. Come on, I'll show you." He turned me around to let me finish the rest of the staircase before leading me down the hallway to a white door. I had noticed pictures in the hallway, family photos of them, portraits of Jared and Amy. "I don't go in there anymore. But you should open it." He stepped back, pressing his spine against the blank expanse of wall in front of the door. I hesitated, feeling like an intruder. "Go on."

I twisted the crystal knob and shoved the door aside. I had only been in the house a handful of times and when I had, it was only into this room. I remembered it now. I remember hiding behind my sister's poodle skirt one Halloween night and marching down this hall. The bedroom was just as I remembered. Pink walls, barely a shade off white, were decorated with flowers and ballet shoes. It was all feminine and warm and inviting, just as I remembered Amy being. It didn't look like a single thing had been touched.

"It hasn't." I jumped at the voice that I didn't recognize. Jared's father stood behind me.

"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to intrude."

"You're not," he promised. "In response to your statement, my wife has touched nothing since that day." He sighed and sat himself down on the edge of the bed. "Jared warned you, I assume." I nodded. "Thank you for taking this as well as you did. I know that I had trouble understanding for a while."

"I understand why she would chose to live in that reality," I whispered, feeling like an outsider.

"I suppose I do to," he replied just as quietly. "Kim, why are you here?" It was a fair enough question. This was, after all, his house.

"My mother, she didn't take my sister's death that well either. She's always been a strict woman, but since Katie died, she's become hateful."

"She's become cruel." Jared was still standing outside the door, but he'd thrown it open. "Dad, we can talk about the _why_ later." His father nodded in agreement. "If Kim doesn't mind, of course." I smiled at him shyly.

"Kim, you're more than welcome to stay here. Maybe seeing you and realizing that you've grown up too will help Joyce realize the truth."

The problem was that I couldn't bring myself to want to pull the woman out of her delusions and into the sadness. And living in her mind's reality was just as dangerous.


	28. Chapter XXVII

**Author's Note: This is just a filler chapter. Enjoy!**

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**Chapter XXVII:****_ Jared's Point of View_**

I helped Kim get all of her things settled into the guest bedroom after she'd finished her conversation with my dad and we'd spent the day in the backyard. My mother had called her Katie the entire day, but she hadn't say anything. I dropped the duffle bag onto the ground and turned to look for Kim. She was standing against the front wall, just beside the dresser, her arms folded over her chest. Despite the fact that the day was serious, the sight of her chest pressed up and supported by her arms was enough to send a bolt of ill-timed desire through me. "Are you okay?" she asked in that quiet, solemn way of hers.

I decided not to respond. I strode across the room to where she was standing and pulled her into my arms. She came to me easily, wrapping her arms around my waist and locking them behind me. She rested her cheek on my chest and let me hold her close. The feeling of her soothed me, soothed the wolf side of me. The anxiousness that had been gnawing at me started to ebb. I felt her shift and turned to see her twist her face and breathe deep, like she was inhaling the smell of me. "Sorry," she breathed. "You smell good." I couldn't help but laugh at her. She thought _I_ smelled good? I wanted to tell her how fantastic she smelled, but couldn't bring myself to open my mouth. "Like the forest after it rains."

"You handled my mom really well," I finally whispered. "But after the night you had last night, you're probably tired, huh?" She nodded a little bit, although she didn't look completely convinced. "Will it bother you if I tell my dad more about what happened? We've been through a lot taking care of my mom. We don't have many secrets." Many secrets. My father didn't know about the Pack, but I wasn't allowed to tell him. He wasn't a tribal leader. So, we had just the one secret. She shook her head against my shirt. The shirt bunched up against my chest with her motions. "No? You don't want me to tell him?"

"You can tell your father," she whispered sweetly. "There's no real reason for me to ask you to keep it a secret."

"You don't need a reason, Kim." It amazed me how the girl let logic overrule everything. It amazed me that she didn't spare a second thought or her own feelings. She just kept trucking along like it didn't matter. I was going to have to show her that she was more important than that. "Would it bother you _at all_ if I told my dad?" I repeated.

"I'm embarrassed," she admitted. I liked that she didn't move away from me, though. She kept her little body tucked against mine like I would be able to protect her. And I would, from anything and everything. "I wish that you hadn't had to see me crying and acting like a child. That's all."

"You're embarrassed because you let fear get a hold of you?" I asked her quietly. She shrugged against me. "Kim, I don't even know the whole story, but I know what you looked like when I found you in the cellar." I wasn't sure that I would ever forget the sight of her, her bronzed skin ashen and drawn taut in fear. She was pressed so far back in that cellar. And when I'd first opened that door and she'd looked at me like I was a demon coming to eat her whole... "Kim, you have nothing to be ashamed of." She just shrugged. "You believe in the imprint, right?" She nodded, but didn't speak. "Then you believe that we're soulmates. Kim, we're supposed to be here to support each other. Let me support you, okay?" She nodded, but I could feel the energy draining out of her. "Come on, sweets. Let's get you in bed."

She grabbed hold of my hand when I pulled the blanket over her shoulders. "You're room is right next door, right?" she asked quietly. I wanted to kiss her again, to lose myself in the bond between us.

"I'm right next door if you need me. Or I can crawl in here before I go to bed," I suggested. I was holding out hope that she would say yes, but I knew that it was stupid. She tucked her lip between her teeth. She nodded, her lids drifting closed. "Kim, do you want me to come here after I finish talking to my dad?" I asked. She nodded again, turning on her side.

"I don't think that I can sleep without you being here," she muttered, grabbing a pillow and holding it to her breast. In the next instant, though, she was asleep. Her snores were light, telling me just how tired she was. I had no doubt that it was the emotional stress of her previous day coupled with the stress of the day that had exhausted her so. I brushed her hair away from her face and tucked it behind her ear before leaving the room. At least I knew that she felt the imprint bond as much as I did.

My father was sitting out on the front porch, a small glass with some amber liquid swirling in the bottom. "Is she okay?" he asked without looking away from the forest that he was staring at. "And did you really think that bringing her here was the greatest idea?"

"She needed a place to go," I replied. "And we're pretty serious, Dad."

He stopped swirling the whiskey in his glass and looked up at me. "I didn't know that the two of you were dating," he said. He turned back to the forest and began sipping at the drink again. "Are you sure that it's not just because of the girls?"

"She's the only one who knows everything about me, Dad. I think that I'm... I _know_ that I'm in love with her. I just, I had my head stuck too far up my ass to realize that she will always be the perfect girl for me. Everything that I've done since then, it's just been me hiding."

"Kind of sudden, don't you think?" I shook my head. "You're serious about this?" I nodded.

"Her mom took their deaths just as hard as we did, Dad. But the difference is that Mom chose to live in a world where nothing was wrong. Kim's mom became mean. She... she's been locking Kim in the cellar in the basement for years now. Every time that she comes home and Kim says something that angers her, she locks Kim in a cellar in the basement for a couple of hours. That's where I found her," I explained.

"In a cellar in the basement?"

"Yeah; she was locked in there, Dad. And when I got her out..." I couldn't even bring myself to tell him what Kim looked like when I pulled that door open and found her sitting there. "It's like her personal hell, Dad," I finally finished. "She needed a place to go and I couldn't let her go anywhere else. Her mother needs help, Dad."

"That's why you brought her here? So that I could go and help her mom?"  
"No," I said. "I brought her here because she needed a safe place to go. There was no where else that I could trust for her to go, Dad."

"I think that she'll be good for your mom, at least for the next couple of days," he said, draining the rest of the glass. He turned around and grabbed the bottle that was sitting on the shelf against the wall. "But we're going to have to get Kim to tell her that she's not Katie," he added.

"Kim's too nice to hurt Mom's feelings, Dad. She's afraid that bursting Mom's bubble will hurt her."

"She said that?"

"Nah, but I know her. She doesn't want to hurt anyone. That girl thinks of herself as nothing better than the dust bunnies that are swept underneath the rugs. She keeps her thoughts to herself and her nose in her books." My dad looked at me over the rim of his glass. "Before you ask, yes, it does bother me. I want her to see herself like I see her."

"You know, your mom didn't think that she was beautiful for the first few years that we were together," he said.

"What?"

"Yep; your mother thought that she was ugliest thing to walk the planet for two years. It was only after I had been with her for a few years and she realized that I truly believe your mother is the most beautiful woman to walk the planet that she started to see it in herself." So if I wanted Kim to believe it, she was going to need time.

Time that I didn't know if I going to have the patience to give her.


	29. Chapter XXVIII

**Author's Note: There will not be any chapters this weekend, but since I didn't update the other night, this is me making up for it. Hopefully, I'll be able to update tomorrow night, but I'm away at a work conference so we'll see what happens. Enjoy!**

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**Chapter XXVIII**

Life wasn't nearly as simple as it appeared to be in my little world. I mean, yes, here with Jared, there were some difficulties, like our mothers and their apparent lack of sanity. But for the most part, our biggest problems were figuring out how to deal with our mothers. We had minimal problems compared to what had hit our friends over the break. While we had been snuggling in the safety of my bed, sharing our secrets, giving each other comfort, a storm greater than anything I could have imagined was heading our way.

Bella Swan, who I knew of only by name and reputation, had come down onto the Reservation to spend Spring Break. Jared had explained that Jake had imprinted on Ryanne, Bella's younger sister. I liked Ryanne; I considered us friends. I could honestly say that it had never occurred to me that Jacob Black didn't love her as much as she appeared to love him. Their relationship had always been one that I'd envied. They seemed so much in love, _real_ love. Not the cheesy Hallmark movie, Nicholas Sparks version of it. People that are really in love argue and work their asses off to make sure that they get through it.

Regardless of what I thought that love was, it didn't change the events that I had oblivious of over Break. Bella had pulled Ryanne over the edge of one of the cliffs on First Beach and almost killed her. As if that wasn't enough, which it seemed like plenty to me, Rye had then been dragged off to Italy to help her sister get her vampire boyfriend back. Now, according to Jared, Ryanne was having trouble understanding the imprint. She knew what it was and what it was supposed to do, but she actually thought that Jake wanted someone else.

I understood the logic. It was hard to believe that guys as perfect as ours would want us. But I had been in love with Jared since I was a little girl. Who's to say that he couldn't love me? "Will you do me a favor and hang out with Ryanne for a little while today?" Jared asked. His father and mother had taken to the city for the day, since Jared and I had been occupying most of the house during the week. "She could use a little company her own age. You know, not Emily," he added.

"Of course." So Jared and I sat on the front porch, waiting patiently for the two of them to arrive. I didn't want to tell Jared that I was afraid of him leaving for patrol. I didn't want to seem weak, especially since I'd been clinging to the man in my sleep every night. By the time Jake and Ryanne arrived, I was a bundle of nerves. And Jared didn't make it any better when he gave me a long, lingering kiss that had the blood rushing to my cheeks. I looked down at the ground and rubbed my nose, trying to play my nerves off. "Does it get easier?" I asked Ryanne.

"No; it doesn't." I sighed heavily. "Every time they leave, you'll worry a little bit. Especially if you know that there's a vampire they're hunting." That was hardly what I wanted to hear. "How'd you deal with the wolf thing?"

"I'm not going to lie, I didn't believe him until he started explaining a little more. It all made sense, but mostly because it fit so well with the legends. Once I figured out that he wasn't lying, then I wanted to see his wolf. They're huge!" Ryanne's laugh tinkered over the both of us. "How did Jake tell you?"

"Uh - - Jake didn't really have the luxury of telling me himself. Bella dragged me down here and ended up slapping Paul. He phased and came after me; he just wanted something to fight. Jake ended up fighting him. It kind of sucked; I was really scared for a while. But I know the legends. They're not here to hurt us; you just have to remember that." I didn't need that reminder. I knew that Jared would never hurt me. Besides, I had always wanted a wolf. "The wolves are Spirit Warriors here for our protection."

They were here to fight the bad things, to put themselves in danger every day. "So, then how do you just let him leave?"

She was quiet for a few minutes. "I guess it just comes down to trust," she finally said. "And sometimes trusting is hard, but at the end of the day, you have to trust that Sam trained them well enough, that they're smart enough to call for help when they need it, that they'll fight when they can win and run when they can't." Easier said than done, if you asked me. "It's not always easy," she said then, like she had read my thoughts. "But you have to believe in them. Especially as an imprint. We're the most important things to them and if we don't believe that they can protect us, why should _they_?"

"I take it everything went well with Jake then?" I laughed. She smiled at me. "Let's go inside. I'll make some tea and you can tell me everything."

"Don't act like you don't know," she retorted. I shrugged. Jake had needed help setting up his date and, as a Pack, we'd done whatever we could.

"I know that he had the sweetest idea I'd ever heard of, but I wasn't there for the actual date," I pointed out. I marched into the kitchen to start water, feeling more at home in this house than I ever had in my own. "It was a cute idea; and keeping it a secret for you only made it better. How did everything go?"

"Emily cooked, which was probably a good thing; Jake isn't exactly the best cook." I smiled at her, leaning against the doorframe. "Kim, I know that you have a lot of questions about imprints and what we do, but I have a question that I think you can answer for me." What could this girl possibly need from me? She had a love that people dreamed of. "I don't want you to doubt Jared or anything, but how do you deal with the imprint magic?"

"I have been in love with Jared since I was in the seventh grade, Rye." I admitted sheepishly. "I've always known that he would be the one for me, but he never saw me. I loved him before the imprint and that didn't change how I felt. What I feel is real ; it was before the imprint. So if what I feel is real, why should I question his feelings?" The water began to whistle behind me. I turned away, leaving Ryanne to whatever thoughts she could have. When I turned back to walk in, I found her smiling softly to herself. "You were worried, huh?"

"Always," she sighed. "But I shouldn't be. Jake swears that he loves me. I just worry that I'm taking his choice away from him and I don't want to do that to him, you know? I want him to be happy."

"You and Jake have always been meant to be, Rye," I laughed. It seemed so silly that she couldn't see this. "Everyone knew it. But enough about that; I want to know about your date!"

"Emily cooked," she repeated. "We ate and watched a move, talked about my fears, I kissed him, he fell asleep - -"

She was rattling off her list so quickly that I didn't know what she was saying. But the last phrase definitely hit my brain. "He fell asleep?"

"He's been pretty tired lately. Between patrol, my stupidity, and the funeral, he's been running around," she defended. "And Billy need him right now."

"Yeah; Leah's been running nonstop since she phased. She won't talk to anyone except Seth either," I replied. "Jared says she picks fights with everyone. She's even angrier than before." It seemed impossible when Jared had first told me, but I realized after she'd growled at me in wolf form that Jared wasn't lying. She had no patience left.

"I'll talk to her," she said quietly.

"Jared thinks that talking to Emily -"

"Won't do anything, trust me," she interrupted. "Leah needs to reconcile that relationship on her own terms. Everyone needs to back off her about that." She didn't say anything more about it, but I figured it was best not to push it. I would eventually have to figure out my relationship with my mother and that wouldn't be something that I would want someone to push me on.

Ryanne left for Forks shortly after. Of course, our visit had already lasted two hours at that point. Without her there, I settled myself on the couch and tried to drown out my worries with mindless television. It was amazing how well that _didn't_ work. Jared still crept into my mind at every turn.


	30. Chapter XXIX

**Author's Note: For future reference, any time that I'm going to be out of reach as far as chapter posting goes, information will be posted on my profile and subsequently, on my website (which is listed on my profile for those who want it). I will ****_always_**** respond to PMs. Enjoy!**

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**Chapter XXIX**

Harry Clearwater's funeral was upon us before I was really ready. Back when my father was still alive, he'd spent a lot of time with Harry Clearwater. So I got ready for this funeral, wearing a yellow dress with muted brown polka dots, feeling like I was going to my father's funeral all over again. I was weepy before the funeral started, but when Billy Black began a eulogy so similar to the one he gave for my father, I lost it.

I swallowed down the tears as much as I could, keeping the gasps and heaves to myself, but turning my face into Jared shoulder. He wrapped his arms tight around me, whispering words of comfort to me so softly that no one had a chance to understand. I felt like a terrible person, thinking about my own father instead of Harry. I just couldn't manage to get him out of my head. I wished that he could have been there to meet Jared, like really meet him and see how good he was to me. The fact that he couldn't made me sob even harder, pressing my face deep into the red fabric of Jared's shirt.

Seth held tightly to his mother, comforting her as much as he could. Leah sat like a rigid totem pole, her back stiff as a poker. Charlie Swan cleared his throat, which I suspected was clogged with emotion, and placed the microphone on the stand. "We'll open the mic for a few minutes if anyone wants to come up and say something about Harry. Remember that he wouldn't want this to be a sad thing. Share a story, make us laugh. That's what Harry would have done," he said. Leah Clearwater stood suddenly, the bench she was sitting on rattling with her motion.

Ryanne shoved Emily back in her seat and stood to go herself, following Leah down the aisle and into the yard. I looked after them, wiping the black streaks from my cheeks, and thought about going after them. I knew what it felt like to lose one's father, but I didn't feel as if I knew Leah well enough to go after them. So instead, I sat in my seat and listened to all the different tribe members tell their stories about Harry. It seemed like an eternity later that Billy Black wheeled himself back up to the front.

"The family will be heading down to First Beach to send the body off," he said solemnly. "All who would like may head to the cemetery to pay their respects." I watched as Jake, Paul, Seth, and Embry carried the canoe to the beach. Jared kept his arms wrapped tight around me while we watched. Finally, he turned me in his arms to face him. He cupped my face in his hands, his thumbs brushing the mascara tears aways from my face. He leaned down and pressed his lips to my forehead sweetly. I sighed in return.

"Did you want to pay your respects to Harry?" I asked him. He nodded and took my by hand to the wooden gate of the cemetery. "Would you mind if we stopped by my father's on the way out?"

He stopped dead in his tracks and turned to face me with a baffled expression on his face. "I didn't know that your father's grave was here," he said, shocked. "Why haven't you said anything before?" I shrugged and tugged on his arm, hoping that he would follow me. I didn't like remembering the fact that my father was gone. I wasn't like Jared's mother, living in a dream world where he would come back. But visiting his grave wasn't where I remembered how much he loved me. It was where I remembered the pain of losing him. I led him to the grave that everyone was standing around, but some twenty feet away, he stopped me. "Why did you say anything about your dad's grave before?"

"Because I don't like to go by very much," I admitted, knowing that it made me sound like a spoiled little girl. "I don't like the reminder." He stood by my side, still looking a little confused, but dropped the subject and led me up to the headstone. Headstones were a relatively new concept for our tribe. Our people had always been a sea peoples. Members of the tribe who died were set out to sea on a canoe, so that they souls could head towards the sun and find the light. But the influence from the pale faces that we were always around had made it so that we had our headstones, too.

So lined up in perfect rows were the headstones of all the tribesmen who had died in the last few decades. My father was there, a paternal uncle that I didn't remember, but not my sister. My mother had called Katie a coward for taking her own life and refused to give her a grave. She got the funeral and the send off, though. It would have to be good enough, I supposed. When I felt like I needed to talk to her, I usually wore one of her old sweatshirts and cried for a little while. "I was going to ask if we could stop by Amy's on the way out. Stopping by your father's would be no imposition. If you're sure that you want to go, that is."

"I don't like to go very much," I repeated. "But I still like going by every one in a while. I try to make sure that there's flowers and that he knows I've been by."

"What about Katie?" I had noticed that the more time that I spent with his mother, the more that she called me Katie, the more that we talked about our sisters, the less that we were referring to them as_ the girls_. For the first time since they had died, talking about their death wasn't talking about "the incident" but rather, talking about the loss of two girls that we both loved.

"My mother didn't want to give her a grave. She said that she didn't deserve it after her cowardice," I explained. He frowned, the expression heavy on his face. "Come on." I led him to the headstone, but stood back a respectful distance. Harry Clearwater was someone special to the Pack. Jared had explained that he had been covering for them, throwing the hunters off their trails and protecting them. Other than the few memories that I had of him, I really didn't know Harry. Only that he had been a good friend of my father's. So I stood back, letting Jared sink down on his knees and whisper goodbye to the man.

"Let's go," he said after a few moments. I nodded and marched up to the marble headstone, brushing my fingers across it in the semblance of a caress. I whispered my goodbye and then took Jared's offered hand. "Your mom's got a lot of issues, you know that right?" I nodded, knowing that we were coming up on Amy's grave. I would come by here every once in a while and talk to my sister's best friend, maybe ask her if she could pass on a message to Katie. Finally, we reached the stone name placard. It barely sat up from the ground, a lilly etched in the stone. _Amelia Jean Littlecreek Beloved daughter and friend,_ it said in beautiful scripted writing. Jared pulled a single yellow stargazing lilly from thin air, or so it seemed to be. He laid it down on the ground before her headstone and then touched his hand to the granite. "You don't have to stand so far back," he said, looking back at me.

"I don't want to interrupt," I said. "She was your sister, after all." He rose from his spot and grabbed a hold of my hand. Gently, he tugged me forward until I was standing before the grave as well. He sank down to the ground and dragged me with him. "Jared -"

"She used to dream about being Katie's sister," he said. "Did you know that?" I shook my head, wishing that I could chastise him for interrupting me. But it was rare that Jared was truly vulnerable. I was afraid to interrupt the moment. He turned his face towards me and pressed his lips against my temple. "She would have gotten her chance after all," he smiled.

Like our sisters were smiling at us, the clouds parted in the sky. The sun came beaming down, bright and yellow and happy. Still in his rare show of true emotion, Jared looked up at the sun with a smile that might have obliterated it if given the chance. "Look at that, they're happy," he whispered. I looked up at his face, at the beautiful grin blooming over his countenance. "I wish that she could have been here. She would have liked you."

"Katie loved you," I replied. He smiled back at me and pressed a kiss to my lips. I lost myself, for a brief moment, in savoring the touch. I heard the crunch of leaves behind us before I broke away. Jared shoved me behind him protectively, a growl building in his throat.

"Kimberley," a voice sighed.


	31. Chapter XXX

**Author's Note: By now we all know how much I love cliffhangers. I mean, I think it's one of the only reasons you all keep reading. Anyways, what I love more than leaving a cliff hanger is the guesses. Hope this takes you all by surprise! Enjoy!**

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**Chapter XXX**

Jared growled a warning, his entire body sinking down infinitesimally, crouched as if he was going to attack. He had one hand back, keeping me behind him. I stepped up closer to him, wrapping my hands around his wrist. "Who are you?" he demanded, though it sounded more like a threat than just the question that I was hoping he intended it as. The older man in front of us took another step closer to us, sending Jared stepping another step back. My chest was pressed snuggling against his back now, the heels of my stilettos sinking into the grass.

The man that stood in front of us couldn't be too old, man his late forties or fifties. His face had lines, giving proof to the fact that he'd had a long, hard life. Gray hair flitted at his temples, his eyes alight with wonder. "I found you," he rasped. Jared sank closer to me and lower into his protective stance. "You needn't worry yourself, son. I'm not going to hurt her."

"Who are you?" Jared repeated. I squeezed my hands around his arm, trying to tell him to relax. There was something oddly familiar about the man that was standing before me. He looked like someone that I had known, like a memory.

"I'm your uncle," he said, his eyes burning straight into mine. He shifted his focus to Jared once more. "Well, not yours," he laughed. "Kimberley's. Your father wrote me a letter."

"When?" I practically shouted, leaping from behind Jared. He grabbed me about the waist and pulled me back to his chest, a constant snarl vibrating there. "Jared," I hissed. He turned her snarl on me, his eyes darkening with danger.

"Years ago, sweetheart," the man said.

"My father doesn't have a brother," I argued. "He valued family above all else. If I'd had an uncle, he would have told us. We would have known you." Yet there was still something about him that rang with memory. I _had_ met him, maybe once or twice, but I could positively say that I had met him.

"Why don't we go somewhere? We could go and get a bite to eat. Or have a coffee or the likes," he said, his hand extended towards me. "I'll tell you my story and give you my answer, Kimberley." I wanted those answers desperately. I wanted something from my father, even if it was just this. I fiddled with my fingers, wishing that there was something for me to do. Finally, I nodded, but Jared's arms only tightened on me.

Summoning up all the courage I could, I opened my mouth. "Only if Jared can come with," I said. "For all I know, you could be a rapist." That didn't help my case with Jared.

"Whatever makes you feel most comfortable, dear," he replied. The thunder rumbled in the sky, the rain starting to drizzle down slowly. "There's a nice little cafe in Olympia. Would you mind the drive?" I looked up at Jared, who nodded stiffly. "It's just off the interstate. A little place called Mama's." Jared gave another nod and led me by hand to his car, though it probably would have been easier for the both of us if he had just carried me.

"We don't know him," he said when we were in my car. "The second that something doesn't seem right, we're out of there. Do you understand?" I nodded. "I won't let anything happen to you, Kim," he promised.

"I know," I muttered in response. "I just want to know if this is real or not. I don't remember having an uncle, Jared, but I swear that I know this man." He was still tight, his knuckles white from his grip on the wheel. "Don't break the car, Jared. I still won't take your bike anywhere." I had hoped that the joke would get him to loosen up, but it didn't. Instead he remained as angry as ever. "I promise that I'll listen to you no matter what," I said finally.

He sighed, the muscles in his arms jumping at the statement, but all of him seeming to slacken. "I'm not trying to be controlling, Kim," he said then.

"I know," I assured him. "You just want to make sure that I'm safe." He sighed, relieved that I understood his highhandedness. "I just know that this has something to do with my dad. I can't explain. I just_ feel_ it."

He heaved again and loosened one hand on the wheel to grab my hand in his. "I can't stand the thought of something happening to you, Kim. But I'll always be here to protect you and take care of you and support you." I lifted our hands to press my lips to his. He smiled, for the first time since before the funeral. I allowed it to temporarily lighten my spirits.

But before I knew it, we had arrive at Mama's. The Dodge Charger was parked in the parking lot, the only other car that was there. Jared, who had relaxed some in our silent drive, was immediately prickling again. The hair on the back of his neck stood up straight, stiff even when I touched it to reassure him that I would be fine. He would die before he let something happen to me. And if I truly felt that there was something wrong, then I would simply leave with Jared beside me. "Come on," he said gruffly.

I slid across the seat and out his door, not willing to lose contact with him. He threaded our fingers together and squeezed reassuringly. The restaurant that had looked empty from the parking lot, was in fact full of people. We realized quickly that there was a second driveway, connected to a truck stop. The man from the cemetery was standing at the entrance we'd walked through, "We can eat back here," he said, leading us to an empty room off to the side. I comforted myself with the knowledge that he wouldn't have let me bring Jared if his plan had been to hurt me. "Order whatever you'd like," he said, handing us a menu.

"I'm fine," Jared ground out. I had never seen the boy turn down food, especially not since he had become a wolf. "Get what you'd like, Kim."

"I'm not very hungry," I admitted. "Just a coffee and a soda?" I suggested, thinking that Jared would still like something to drink.

"Sure, sweetheart. Noreen, could I get a coffee and a coke?" he called out. An older woman bustled through the door, carrying the mug and glass as we'd asked. She had one grey streak in her hair, the rest of it starting to dull. Unlike most women, she wasn't fighting her age, but letting it happen naturally. Her face was tired and slightly haggard, lines proving her age. "Kimberley, this is my Noreen Conwell." She had my last name, as a paternal aunt would.

"I still don't know your name," I pointed out, despite Jared's growl when I spoke.

"My apologies, dear. I'm Douglas Conwell, your father's brother." I narrowed my eyes at him, holding Jared's hand on my knee for comfort. "I guess I should start from the beginning, huh?"

"That would probably be helpful," I said quietly.

"You have his same attitude. He'd have been happy," he smiled. I didn't want to let nostalgia take me over. It would cause tears that I didn't have time for. "Your father and I had a rivalry all of our lives. It was always about who could be the first and the best. He usually one, despite the fact that he was younger. He met your mom when he was in college and got her pregnant. No matter what your mother has to say, Kimberley, believe me when I tell you that your father said that you and Katherine were the greatest things that ever happened to him." I couldn't help but smile at that. "Your mom didn't like me, though. I hadn't gone to college. I met Noreen in high school and knew that I wanted to be with her for the rest of my life. Until we opened this place, I was a trucker and Noreen ran a daycare. Your father and I talked every week. He ever brought you and Katherine to our house one time when your mom was out of town." That would explain why I knew him.

"I wasn't allowed near you girls, though. Then one week, I didn't get a phone call. The letter came a few days later. Apparently, your father had someone in Seattle set up to send me a letter, in case he died. He was always worried about you girls. He thought that your mother might be losing it, especially after Katherine's...well, I'm sure I don't need to remind you about that." I shook my head and Jared snarled. "He asked me to watch out for you, Kim. He wanted to make sure that you had someone else to go to."

"I'm fine," I replied. "I have people to go to."

"I know, but your seventeen now. That's why I've been trying to find you. That, and I was worried when I couldn't find you at your house."

"Why does me being seventeen matter?" I asked, my eyes narrowed again.

"Because of this," he said, stooping to pick up a box from the ground.

"What is that?" Jared asked warily

"Letters."


	32. Chapter XXXI

**Author's Note: Okay guys, here's the next chapter. Enjoy!**

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**Chapter XXXI**

"What letters?" I asked. He placed the tin container on the table in front of us, a bright yellow ribbon tied tight around it. "What is this?" I wouldn't touch it, not that had I much of a choice. Jared's hand tightened around mine, keeping it still in his lap.

"I got them just after your father died," he explained. "The came with the letter that I got." He pulled a tattered paper from his wallet, the woman hovering unobtrusively in the corner of the room. He laid his own letter atop the box and smiled shyly at me. "I'm sure that the two of you are done in. I understand that it was someone's funeral today." I nodded, but didn't offer any more information. He slid another little business card from his wallet and dropped it on the box as well. "Why don't you guys head home? Kimberley, you can read your letters and get back to me when you get your chance."

"There's really no hurry, dear. Except for the wishes that your father had, that is," Noreen finally spoke up. "It's lovely to finally meet you," she added. I smiled shyly at her, much like I would have if it was anyone else that I was meeting for the first time. "The weather's getting nasty. The two of you should head home, before the roads get too slick. I wouldn't want anything to happen to you." Jared thanked the two of them stiffly and scooped the tin into his hands, pulling me to a standing position. I managed to murmur my own gratitude before he dragged me off to the car.

He weight of the box was almost heavy in my lap while we drove in silence. I had so many questions and only the hope that this one, small, insignificant box would have the answers to the world inside. I nibbled on my lip as we drove, the box rattling with each and every turn and bump. Why would he have written me letters? Why didn't he tell me that I had an uncle? I would have understood. My mother was never an easy person to get along with. She had so many rules, it was almost ridiculous. It wouldn't have taken very much for the man to piss her off. And when he had, she would have written him off and told him that he was never allowed to come back.

I must have dozed off at some point, because the next thing that I remembered was jared shaking my shoulder lightly. "We just got back into town," he muttered. "I figured you wanted to read those, I just wasn't sure where." My lips twitched. He knew me so well. I nuzzled my cheek into his shoulder. "We're just by the exit for the barn, if you want." I nodded, wishing that I could properly appreciate the understanding that he was showing me. He pulled off the road then, and headed down the dirt path to the barn. "I'll see if Tex needs any help with anything. You just holler if you need me."

He left me standing outside the barn, the tin box cradled in my hands. I debated, for a brief moment, where to go. The pile of clean shavings were always a happy place, but I couldn't see myself reading letters from my father there. I considered going to my tack room and reading it there, but I knew that I would only see his memories there. I needed comfort. Warmth. Silence. No pressure, not that Jared would ever pressure me.

So I marched down the hallway and shoved Geronimo's door aside. The boy nickered to me in greeting, despite the hard ride that I had given him the previous day. I slid the gate shut again. He would never go anywhere, but it was best not to be interrupted. I poured Geronimo's grain into his bucket, giving him something to do while I read. I found the clean pile of shavings in the back corner, grateful that Tex had cleaned the stall.

I took a deep breath to steady myself and lifted the paper that was sitting on the top. "Dad, I don't know what you're doing," I muttered to myself, "but I really hope you don't make me cry." I licked my lips nervously and unfolded the little piece of paper.

_Doug,_

_If you're reading this... Well, you know what this is. I need your help, big brother. I'm not here anymore. I wrote this letter for you a few years ago, when Regina and I first started having problems. You know that I love my wife, but she has her own problems to deal with. I'm worried about what this will mean for my girls, Doug._

_Which is why I'm writing you. Katherine will never know you, Doug, and I wish that it could be different. But we still have a chance with Kimberley. I want you to watch after my little girl, brother. I need you to protect her, make sure that Regina doesn't ruin her. Both of my girls have the best of hearts. I let Regina poison Katherine's by letting her take her to al those beauty pageants. Kim is still so innocent, so naive. Don't let Regina get her talons into my daughter, Doug. Be there for her. Protect her._

_Kim is smart, Doug. Keep an eye on her from afar. If you get to close, you'll spook Regina and she'll take Kim away. My wife is still possessive, but I won't put my daughter through a divorce. Regina is misguided, but not evil. At least, I don't think that she is. Somewhere, she loves her daughter. I know that she does._

_But like I said, Kim's smart. Give her time to grow up a little and then come. I would wait until she's seventeen. That gives her options. You and Norey can take her for a year. Or she could stay with her mother. It's a good age. _

_I'm sorry to put this all on you, big brother. I wish that I could be alive to watch her grow up. I wish that I could see her, see you, see Norey. But I can't. So I'm trusting you to take care of her for me. I'm trusting you to protect her for me._

_Watch after my daughter. Don't let her marry some shmuck. _

_George_

Tears had filled my eyes, my vision blurred. Geronimo stayed happy and content in his corner, his face buried deep in his feeder. He had recognized my mother's insanity, even back in his undated letter. My parents had never really been in love. It had all been about protecting me, keeping me from knowing the real truth. How could I blame him? He was only trying to do what was best.

With a deep breath to keep myself from going to shreds, I popped the lid off the tin case. Each letter was folded in half and placed inside, but there were far more than I could ever imagine counting. I pulled it out from the tin, the paper stiff from sitting still for so long. Geronimo nickered and tossed his head, probably wondering why I was just sitting in his stall. I waved the letter at him, though weather he understood or not is still up for debate. He did, however, plant his face back in his lunch and keep munching away.

_June 11_

_Dear Kimberley,_

_Today is the day that you were born. I'm sitting here, looking at your big sister hold you in her lap. I hope the two of you are as close as I am to my big brother. And while I'm sitting here, it dawned on me that you may never know what it feels like to look down on your daughter on the day of her birth. I wrote a letter for your sister on her birthday. It would only make sense that I do the same._

_Everyone says that they're babies are beautiful when they're born. If you tell anyone this, I will deny it... But you guys aren't all that great to look at when you're born. You were covered in blood, having given your mother a hard time (I hope that's not a sign of things to come). The cord was wrapped so tightly around your neck that when they finally got you clean, your face was still a purple grape color. _

_And unlike your sister, you never cried. The doctor's pounded on your back again and again, because we thought that you couldn't breathe. I think that means that you're going to be the sacrificial one, the one who just wants to keep the peace. You ate your food, burped, and fell right asleep. You keep scaring the doctor's, little Kimmie. They say that they're might be fluid in your lungs. I think you're just the quiet one in the family. Heck, someone has to be._

_I didn't know my father. He died before I had a chance to make too many memories with him. I don't want it to be like that for you, my Kimmie. So, from now, I'll write you a letter. I write to your sister every year on her birthday. But I don't think that's enough. I'll write you both one letter a week, until I die. Then, one day, you'll get these. You can have me and memories, no matter where I am._

_Happy Birthday, Kimberley._

_Daddy loves you._


	33. Chapter XXXII

**Author's Note: It's a miracle that I was able to get on here with the site being as stupid as it is. Anyways, sorry that there were no updates yesterday. Here's tonight's chapter. Also, there will be no ****_Chains Around her Heart_**** update today or tomorrow. Enjoy!**

**Chapter XXXII**

The tears wouldn't stop streaming. Not from the moment that I read the first letter. Not until I got to the eight-hundred and sixth. My father talked about nothing and everything. He told me stories about my childhood, stories that I had never heard. My first week of life, he talked about taking me home from the hospital, about how peaceful I was. I rarely cried. I never woke in the middle of the night. From his letters, I was the perfect child. My mother loved me in his letters. He would tell stories about her playing with me, brushing my hair, bathing with me.

I refused to stop, even when Geronimo bumped my box of letters. I patted the boy's head and pushed it away from me before grabbing the next letter. "Kim?" he called. "Kim? Are you okay?" He slid the gate open, scrubbing a hand down Geronimo's blaze as he closed the paddock's door. Geronimo moved to the side, revealing me cuddled in the back of the stall. The letters that I had read were lying open in a haphazardness pile. Jared gripped them in one large hand and took their spot in the clean shavings.

He leaned back, his forearm braced behind my back. I allowed myself to lean back against his arm, my face feeling swollen. I didn't doubt that my eyes were rimmed in red, swollen from all the tears. I sobbed with abandon, feeling like the world was...crumbling. I wished that he could be here with me. I wished that he could be there with me, that he could hold me close again. Jared didn't say anything. He didn't touch me more than his arm behind my back. I rested cheek against his shoulder after a few minutes, unable to see the text because of the tears streaming down my face. "Kim, you're going to make yourself sick," he whispered after what seemed like an eternity of sobbing.

He shifted then, the arm bracing my back sliding around my waist. I turned my face into his neck and slithered my arms around his neck. "It's almost morning, sweetheart. We should get home," he muttered then. His hand was pressed against the back of my head, holding me tight to him. I shook my head at him, not sure that I was telling him no about. I had been sitting in this stall all day and most of the night? These letters were like the good book you couldn't put down. Except that they weren't going to have a happy ending. "I'm going to let Geronimo out, okay? He's getting a little antsy. You let me know when you want to go."

My horse, having learned to trust Jared, went with the man without hesitation. Jared sauntered down the boardwalk, Geronimo's lead rope thrown over his shoulder lazily. Before they made it to the round pen, both of them turn and looked back to where I was standing in the paddock.

_December 7_

_Dear Kim,_

_Years ago, I promised myself that I wouldn't put you and your sister through a divorce. It was in my letter...somewhere. At this point, I've written so many that I don't even know where that letter is. I wish that things were different, Kimmie. But your mother has changed so much. She's not the woman that she used to be. And I worry about what she's doing to you girls._

_I see selfishness in your sister. The more time that she spends with your mother, the more prevalent it becomes. And with you... I don't even know how to describe the effect that she's had on you. You are warm and kind and giving, Kim. But you don't see the things that the rest of us see. You don't see your beauty, your selflessness, your warmth. You don't see your heart, Kim. I have let her poison you for far too long._

_This may be the end, Kim. For far too long I've gone along wit what your mother has said, with her rules. It's going to be coming to an end, soon. I have to get you and your sister out of that house and out of her poison. No matter what happens, though, you'll always have me. _

_Daddy loves you._

I smoothed the stationary paper and laid the letter atop the others. Over the years, his letters had gotten shorter and shorter. He never put years on the dates, but I knew when they were. The changes in the descriptions made it easy. Instead of talking about me learning to speak, he would talk about me fishing with him. At one point, he wrote a letter about what it was like to watch me horseback ride, to watch his daughter on an animal as big as Geronimo. I reached into the tin, but there was only one final, thin piece of paper between me and the now cold metal.

_December 12_

_Dear Kim,_

_I know that I normally write one letter a week, but I needed to tell you about. I thought that I could fix everything, Kim. I thought that the worst of our problems were your mother's temper. I wish that you would have told me, Kimberley. I could have stopped this. You're a young woman, now. When I found you in that cellar today... God Kim._

I felt like I was sitting in front of him, listening to him lecture me. He would have wanted me to tell him. My father had never been an yeller, though. The words on the page would have been spoken to me in a quiet tone, nearly in despair as he felt like he had failed me. He would never understand that I didn't think that he had failed. The thought almost made me smile, the memory of him lecturing me in that quiet voice of his.

_I hope that someday, you learn that you deserve better than how she treats you. I want you to know, if you never hear it again, that you are a better person that she is. You are a better person than she will ever be. I know that somewhere deep down inside, your mother loves you Kim. I never want you to doubt that. But it's time for you to grow up, Kim. It's time for you to stand up to her. It's time for you to tell her how you really feel. _

_I love you, Kim. No matter what happens, I will always love you. I pray that one day you will find someone to love you, someone that will take care of you the way that I want. I have to leave, Kim, and I don't want to. But I have to get out of the house. I have to find a way to get you out of here. To get your sister out of here. To be finished with this house. _

_I'll be back as soon as I can. _

_Daddy loves you_

It was the last letter in the box. The last letter before he died. Cautiously, I folded the letter again and pressed it against his box. I started, slowly but surely, fingering the edges of each paper as I put them in the box once again. I probably wouldn't get enough of reading them. I knew myself well enough to know that I would try to read them at least once a week. I would tell myself that there was some information in them that would be pertinent to me. I continued putting them away, though, suddenly feeling weary. God only knows what time of the day it was. According to Jared, it was almost morning. That mean that it had been almost twenty-four hours of laughing and crying.

Finally, the first letter was put back in the box, pressed snuggly against the tin walls. I picked up the lid in my hands, twirling it around a little. The wind rushed around it, the sound a little different than what I had been expecting. I frowned and flipped the lid over so that it's cold flat side was lying against my dress fabric. A ziplock bag was taped securely to the underside, the air pushed out of it so it conformed to the envelopes therein.

I pulled the tape away from the metal and dropped it ungracefully into my lap. The tap stuck to the thin cotton of my dress, but I didn't care. I pulled the two pieces of bag apart until the smell of dry air came wafting up to me. I slid my fingers into the bag and pulled the envelopes out. My father's hand writing smiled up at me, as it had all the other times. A blue sticky note was placed on the top, a winky face glimmering. _Just in case,_ it read. I flipped the envelopes around so I could read their addresses.

_On Your Wedding Day_

_First Child's Birth_

_For Your Wolf_

I looked at the paddock door, which was left open. Jared was still giving me my privacy, though I couldn't hear Geronimo's pounding footfalls in the round pen. "I found him, Daddy," I promised, tucking the other two letters in the bag and replacing the lid. I cradled the box against my chest as I rose and dusted off my clothes. "Jared?"


	34. Chapter XXXIII

**Author's Note: Okay, y'all, here's the next chapter. I hope you enjoy!**

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**Chapter XXXIII**

Jared and I barely spoke the rest of the night. He left me to my grief, though it was almost more painful to have him leave me than it would have been to talk about it. He didn't ask me anything about the letter than I kept in my hands. When we got to his house, I put the letter into a drawer in my dresser, knowing that I was going to have to wait for the right time to give it to him. I figured it was going to be in the next few days, but soon found that I figured wrong.

The morning that we can home, Jared didn't join me in my bed. I told myself that it was because it was daylight, that he didn't want his father to see us in bed together. It was one thing to ask your son's girlfriend to live with you for a little while. It was another thing entirely to have your son sleeping in the same bed as said girlfriend. Even if it wasn't what he was going to assume it was, it wasn't right. When he didn't show up the next night, I thought that he was trying to give me my space.

After four nights of being alone in a cold bed, though, I realized that he wasn't planning on coming back to me. It must have been the tears, the reality that I was one of those girls who cried. A lot. When I was younger, my sister used to call me _waterworks_. It wasn't the most creative name that could have been made up, but it was true. I cried whenever I felt remotely sad, though I made sure to do it in my own room. No one else needed to see me weeping like a baby.

And in Jared's line of work, he probably couldn't spare time for someone who cried as often as I did. There wasn't anything offensive about it. I just wished that he would talk to me about it. I wasn't going to offer to change myself; I had seen too many girls do that in high school. But I could find a way to keep my emotions to myself, to let them out when it was safest to do so. I could do that for Jared. I loved him; I knew that much. Surely the Spirits wouldn't have put us together if we could work out our problems.

The fifth night after I received the letters, I sat on the floor outside Jared's bedroom, waiting for him to come home from patrol. The door was closed, which caused me to hesitate going on. Ultimately I had decided that I would just wait for him to come home to talk to him. So, there I sat, twiddling my uncle's business card in my hands. He'd asked for me to call him back. That had to mean that he wanted something to do with me, that he wanted to be a part of my life.

"Kim!" Jared had been jogging up the stairs,but stopped short when he realized that I was sitting on the ground beside his door. "What are you doing here?" I scrambled to my feet, feeling like an idiot.

"I didn't know where else to meet you," I whispered. "I didn't mean to intrude."

"You're not an intrusion, Kim," he said patiently. "But I wasn't expecting to see you here. That's all."

"I was hoping that we could talk," I continued quietly. "We haven't done that in a while." His eyes narrowed, like he wasn't quite sure how he wanted to respond to that. "Could we take a walk? Maybe get out of the house for a little?" All I had done for the last few days was eat, sleep, go to school, and ride my horse. It felt like I was never actually doing anything, but filling the time.

"Yeah; yeah, do you want to grab yourself a jacket?" he asked. I shook my head, mostly because if I had anything to say about it, he would be keeping me warm at the end of the night. I felt devious, like a venus flytrap. I knew that it was stupid, but this was by far one of the most outgoing things that I had ever done. "Okay, let's go then." He offered me his hand. I took it gratefully, wrapping my hand around his. He released me slightly, but I didn't care. I only tightened my hold, hoping to show him that _this_ was what I wanted. He looked down at me questioningly, but didn't move to let me go. We were some thirty feet into the forest when he asked me, "What's on your mind, Kim?"

I wanted more time, more time to gather my courage and ask him my questions. It was time that I didn't have, though. He had asked a question and I owed him the answer. "Why haven't you talked to me?" I managed to get out. I was grateful for his wolf hearing, though. A normal person wouldn't have heard my quiet tone. "It's been five days, Jared, and you've barely said a word to me." I could feel the tears welling up again, but swallowed hard, willing them to disappear. I would just have to wait until I was in the shower or in my own room. Jared pulled us to a stop and looked down at me with those same brooding eyes.

One tug and I found myself pressed against his chest, his arms trying to strangle the life out of my waist. "I'm so sorry, Kim," he muttered against my loosely braided hair. "I didn't want you to feel like I was interrupting you or something."

I gave a hoarse laugh. "Interrupting?"

"Kim, I didn't really know your father. I felt like an impostor. I didn't want to try and share grief that I couldn't understand." His hands moved up and down on my back as he held me close. "I didn't intend for you to feel like I was leaving you behind."

"Is it because I cried?" I asked then. "Because I was crying and sobbing like an idiot? I'm not going to say that I won't do that again, Jared, but I promise that I won't - -"

"No, no, no, Kim. Anyone would have cried if they had gotten those letters," He soothed. "I don't mind your crying. I like that you show when you're upset. I was just trying to give you space. I'm so sorry, Kim. I'm so, so, so very sorry." I let my tears fall, then. I let all my worries and pain drain away with each tear that fell.

"I thought that you decided that you were done with me," I admitted against his chest. "I'm more trouble than I'm worth."

"I would go through hell and back for you, Kimberley. I promise you that you aren't too much trouble. You're perfect, Kim. Perfect in every way, shape, and form." He held me tenderly, warming me from the inside out. "I thought that you needed time. Time to recover, decide what you wanted to do, think about what your father said. I wasn't trying to shut you out." His hand smoothed over my hair again, his mouth pressing against my temple. "I never meant to hurt you. Never in a million years."

I braced my hands on his chest and peered up at him with a slight smile. "I missed you, Jared." He kissed my brow now and apologized again. "And you were right about thinking over my father's letters. I just didn't need to be alone for that." I clenched my fingers around the fabric of his shirt and smiled a little more. "I made a decision, though, about the things that my father wanted me to."

"What were they about? The letters," he asked then.

"He wrote one to me every week. Some of them were longer than others, but they were all about our lives, about the things that had happened during the day and such. Just about stuff," I explained. "In the last letter that he wrote me, though, he told that it was time for me to stand up to my mother, time for me to realize that I deserve better."

"I second that motion," he breathed. "Your mother needs to be shown that what she's doing is wrong, Kim. If not, she'll keep doing it again and again until there's nothing left of you. I know that you have a big heart, Kim. I know that you are the most forgiving person that I have ever met. But some people don't deserve it. _She_ doesn't deserve any more chances."

"That would be part of my decision, Jared," I said, unable to help my smile at his tone. I licked my lips nervously and looked down at the mossy forest floor between us. "I want to give her a second chance, Jared, but it has to be on my terms."

"I don't understand."

"I want to talk to my mother, Jared. I want to tell her everything."


	35. Chapter XXXIV

**Author's Note: Okay, y'all, here's our next chapter. Drama to come. Enjoy!**

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**Chapter XXXIV:****_ Jared's Point of View_**

"Everything, everything?" I asked cautiously.

"Obviously not the things that I can't tell her, Jared. I don't see a reason to tell her about the wolves or imprints or anything. I meant that I want to tell her how I feel I want to explain to her what it feels like to have someone belittle you at every turn," she explained. Her hands dug into her back pocket, her tongue going out over her lips to soothe her nerves. The little business card practically screamed against her tanned skin. "I think that we should call him, Jared." I smiled at her. She said that _we_ should call her uncle, not her. After being a jackass, she still wanted me.

It hadn't been my intention to hurt her. I only meat to give her time to process and grieve, to long for a man that I couldn't miss with her. I was only trying to give her room to breathe and instead, I had ended up making her feel rejected. And then the silly girl even thought that it was because she cried. I would rather have her crying than have an imprint that tried to hide her feelings from me or lie to me about her feelings. I clutched her close again. How did I deserve this girl? How did I get an imprint with the understanding heart that she had? I was stupid, beyond stupid. I had treated her poorly and yet here she stood telling me that _we_ were making decisions that would impact the rest of her life. "You make your choice, Kim; I'll always be here to support you," I promised. She beamed at me, that smile that told me that everything was going to be okay. I would go through anything to see that smile everyday.

"I have something for you," she said then. "Something that I think you might want to read."She slid out of my grasp, but wrapped her fingers about my bicep and tugged. "Come on; it's at the house." I curled my arm into my waist, probably looking like a doofus, but feeling like a king. Five days had been torture. Five days without the feel of her soft curves pressed against me. I was sure that I would die. Of course, Kim had then taken it upon herself to pull my head from my ass and make me see what I was doing to her.

"What is it?" I asked as she marched me up the stairs. I let her go first, more for selfish reasons than anything else. What man wouldn't watch his girlfriend march up the stairs when her jeans hugged her just perfectly? It would be a crime not to, in my opinion. So long as I didn't get caught, of course. My mother still didn't understand that Kim wasn't her sister. I didn't need to be seen gawking at my dead sister's dead best friend. That might be a little too much to explain.

In her bedroom, Kim slipped open a drawer and pulled out a thick envelope with chicken scratch writing on the front. She turned towards me again and handed the envelope over. "What is this?" I asked, thinking immediately of her father. What could she be sharing with me? One of the ones that her father had written imploring her to stand up to her mother? She left the paper in my hands and scrambled up on the bed. "Kim, what is it?" I asked, looking at her instead of the ink on the paper.

"Just read it," she said. I nodded and backed the few feet to the edge of her bed, finally looking down. _For Your Wolf._ It was definitely a man's handwriting. If I was right, it was her father's. I shot a look over at Kim, but the girl had curled up on her side, pillowing her face on her hands. Her face was still tear stained, but not nearly as hard as it had been when I had checked in on her the past few nights. It was the only thing that I could do to calm my wolf. Well, that or crawl into bed beside her.

_For the Wolf,_

_I had hoped that you wouldn't need to read this letter. Because if you're reading this, it means that I'm not hear to give you this speech in person. It means that I'm not hear to make sure that my little girl has found the right man. If you're reading this, it means that nothing has turned out the way that I wanted it to. I guess that's okay, though. Life doesn't always work out the way that you want it to. Part of growing up is learning to roll with it._

_Rolling with it is something that my Kim is great at. The emotion that my girl shows is nothing in comparison to what she feels. Don't you worry, though. This isn't the part of the letter where I tell you to be careful with my baby girl, where I tell you that I will smite you from heaven if you hurt her in the slightest. Kim is cautious enough for four people. You wouldn't be reading this if she wasn't ready to put herself out there. She's strong, stronger than anyone realizes. Most of all, she's stronger than she realizes._

_Hopefully Kim trusts you enough that you know everything. Hopefully you know about her mother, her horse, everything that Kim holds dear. If you do, then you know that Kim is the peacekeeper. She would rather hurt herself than hurt someone else, even when those people have wronged her. If she hasn't told you, let me be the first to do so. Regina Conwell is a misguided woman. She's not the woman that I married. Not anymore. She has brainwashed my daughter into thinking that she is something less than what she is. She has taken my little Kim and made her think that she is nothing._

_That's where you come in. I know that this a cliche, a total dad thing to say, but there are a few things that I need you to remember. First of all, I need to you to remember who you're dating. Kim isn't like other girls. I will admit that I have a slight bias, and if you're reading this I hope you do too, but it's also the truth. My daughter has the biggest heart of anyone that I have ever met. You're not dating a girl that will fall in love and be done. She loves hard and with a loyalty that isn't often seen. She's not going to fall out of love with you. She's going to do everything she can to make it work. Look at what she's done with her mother. _

_Secondly, Kim loves hard. She always has. She's guided by a sense of duty that doesn't exist anymore. She deserves someone who will give that back to her tenfold. Show her that chivalry still exists. Show her that you'll be loyal to her no matter what's going on in her life. I know that hopeless devotion is the cliche title of a musical number, but it's a real thing. I hope that you have that kind of devotion for my daughter. _

_I don't really have much else to say to you. I wish that I could be here to threaten you in person, to make sure that you're the right guy for my daughter. But if she's told you about wolves and legends and how she's never wanted a prince, I suppose that you're the right person. Just a couple more warnings, and then I'll be out of your hair. All right? Listen up:_

_Don't pull up in the driveway and honk. It's tacky and my daughter deserves better. Even the postal services rings the doorbell. _

_I know that it's supposed to be fashionable for boys to wear pants that are hanging off their asses. Don't do it. I promise you that you will be pantsed by someone in our family._

_Don't get my daughter pregnant out of wedlock. Just don't do it. It's not a warning or a threat. It's a promise. My daughter will not be pregnant before she's married. I will find a way to kill you from up here. _

_My last warning is this: don't hurt my little girl. She deserves the best from whoever she's with. I hope that you're the man to give it to her. Don't let her forget how amazing she is. _

_Sincerely, _

_George Conwell_

He was right on so many counts. Kim did deserve the best. She was willing to settle for worse if she thought that it would keep the peace. Finally, I looked over at the girl of my dreams. She was snoring lightly, her tennis shoes still tied on her feet. I set the letter on her desk and walked to Kim's side of the bed. I slipped her shoes from her feet and watched her curl up tighter. She shifted in her sleep, her hair falling straight over her face. I brushed it aside, looking at her beloved face. "Jared?" she muttered, looking up at me.

"I'll be in bed in just a second," I promised her.

I turned back to where the letter was lying, both pages open to the air. I grabbed a blank sheet of stationary paper from the desk drawer and sat. Kim's snores filled the air again, signaling her sleep.

_Dear Mr. Conwell,_

_I wish that you could be here so that I could tell you all the things that I want to. I just wanted to let you know that I read your letter. I understand your _**_rules_**_. I don't think that they were as _**_suggestive_**_ as you would like for them to me._

_I swear I'll watch after Kim. I'll give her everything I have and protect her to my death. I promise._

_Sincerely,_

_Jared Littlecreek_


	36. Chapter XXXV

**Author's Note: Check my profile for information about this weekend. Other than that, enjoy!**

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**Chapter XXXV**

The next morning, I woke up with Jared's arms wrapped tight around me. I was lying on my stomach with my hands pillowing my cheek. Jared had his cheek lying against my shoulder blade. I noticed then that his arms were underneath mine, our fingers just barely threaded together. I felt like ages since I had woken up in this position, in the arms of the man that I loved. In the arms of the man that my father would've wanted me to be with. I turned my head towards the light that reflected off the gleaming desk.

A piece of paper stuck out, brighter and newer than my father's. I narrowed my eyes at it and tried to decipher the writing on the page. I couldn't read it though, not from the bed. And Jared's weight was pressing down to insistently for me to want to move myself. It had been too long without him here with me. I allowed my eyes to close in contentment, absorbing the warmth of the sun through the windows. "You're awake early," he sighed, his breath warming over my back. I couldn't help but wonder what it would feel like when I was lying naked beneath him, when his breath was brushing over my bare skin instead of the fabric of my shirt.

My face heated with embarrassment at the way that my thoughts had run. "What are you thinking about?" he asked, turning his face to press a kiss to the exposed skin. I shivered, though I was far from cold. Another unbidden image of me pinned naked beneath him flooded me. I blushed another shade darker and felt my pulse thud against my ears. "Kim? Are you feeling okay? You are awake, aren't you?" I nodded, not trusting myself to answer him or face him. "You're heart's going a mile a minute. You okay?"

"Yeah, I was just thinking," I breathed. If I had said it any louder, I probably wouldn't have been able to say it at all.

"What were you thinking about?" he asked then. My mind scrambled to try and figure out what to tell him, what could be an excuse other than my desires.

"I was thinking about my mother and how I could start my conversation with her," I lied. The words caused a new thought to flood my mind, banishing the last of my desire and replacing it with fear. "How do I tell her that after seventeen years of living with her, I've never liked her. I've never trusted her. I hate the way that she treats me."

He kissed my shoulder again and then planted another kiss against my neck. "You tell her just like that, Kim. You tell her that you're only just learning how to tell her all the things that you've always felt. And you do it all with me right here," he promised me.

"I hardly think that explaining these things to my mother in this position will make her happy," I laughed. His deep throated chuckle shook through his chest and radiated a warmth through my bones. "What time is it?" I asked. He shifted around, pressing up on his forearms to look around and find the clock. He collapsed down on me again, his weight a pleasurable stone on my back.

"It's almost nine on a Saturday. Why?" he groaned, clearing wishing that we had slept a little longer.

"I need to go and ride Geronimo. It's been two days since I've had him out. And then I need to get down to my mother and talk to her. I was, uh, I was kind of hoping that you would, um, that maybe you could -"

"I'll be right there," he promised before I could attempt to stammer through the rest of the sentence. "Text me when you're finished with your boy and I'll meet you there. We can drive home and get cleaned up before we go over there." I knew in that moment that I was beyond in love with him. He was the only person that I knew that not only recognized my weaknesses but was there to support me and give me strength when I needed it. "I have to get in the shower before my dad realizes that I haven't been in my bed since I came home last night. Go ahead and get ready to head out. I'll go out there with you," he added. He pressed a kiss to my lips then, slow and sweet and amazing. "Good morning, Kimberley," he added.

The husky tone of his voice sent another wave of shimmers through me. He left before I could do more than bite my lip though. It was probably for the best. I wasn't sure what the boy was doing to me. There were times, especially when we were laying bed, that the feelings purling through me were incredible. Other times, they were slightly terrifying. Like now. He could melt me from the inside out with just a word, just a phrase. I bit my lip to try and contain the unnamed emotions. I shook my head hard to clear the emotions once and for all, my gaze falling on the papers on the desk.

I picked up the two different sets of paper, distinguishing them by texture and handwriting. _For the Wolf,_ the first read on the top. I set it down, curious as to what my father would have said to Jared, but knowing that it wasn't my place. _Dear Mr. Conwell,_ the other began. It wasn't likely that my father would have written a letter to himself. Jared's letter was short, especially in comparison to my fathers. Succinct and sweet and oh so Jared. It brought tears to my eyes, enough that I finally had to lay it aside and dress for the day.

"You ready to go?" Jared asked five minutes later when I was pulling my hair up high on my head for the day. I nodded, wrapping the elastic tie around my hair one last time and pulling the length of my hair through it. "You know what you're going to work on today?" he asked conversationally. I shrugged, knowing what I was really going to do. I was going to talk to my horse and practice my little speech for my mother on the best friend that I had who _wasn't_ human. "You know I won't let your mother hurt you, right?"

"Yes," I whispered. "I just don't like the confrontation, you know?"

"I know you don't," he sighed. "But sometimes people have to hear the things that they don't want to in order to understand what it is they've done."

"Thank God you're here!" Tex said the instant that we were out of the car. My heart instantly set to a palpitating rhythm. "Don't you go getting that look on your face, girlie. Your horse is fine. I got some new meat to show you though."

Relief flooded through me like a dam that had burst. I enjoyed helping Tex out whenever I could, but I especially loved riding his green colts. Geronimo was fun to play around on. He knew how to listen and how to behave. The green ones, though, they still had that spirit, that buck, that playfulness. The danger that I lacked on a day to day to basis. "Come and take a look," he insisted.

I wrapped my hand around Jared's and tugged on it until he was following along, grumbling about having to get going. I kept pulling until we were standing before the corral. The gleaming black filly standing within was kicking and tossing her feet, despite the saddle on her that prevented her from arching her back. "I'm calling her Bella," he said. "Short for Ballistic." I laughed and watched her shake her head at me, finally coming to a stop. "I ain't got the time to work her out properly today. She's good once you've got her good and tired. You think you could work your magic?" Tex asked with a laugh. I still couldn't take my eyes off of her. There wasn't a speck of white on her. Her eyes were dark and dangerous. I bit my lips with excitement and nodded eagerly. "I'll get her bridled up, tie her head so you can lunge her a little bit."

I watched eagerly as she ran around the pen again. "Kim," Jared said, his voice grounding me to the present moment and not the one where I was running around the pen on that little mare. "You are not getting on that horse," he stated firmly. I giggled a little at his tone. "Kimberley, I'm being serious. I've seen you get thrown off of a horse that didn't do this."

"She's just a little fresh, Jared. Knock it off. It'll be fun," I promised him.

"I am not watching you get on that thing," he said again. My pride flared up, wounded that he thought that I couldn't take care of this horse. I knew what I was doing. Tex had been training me to take over his business since I was a little girl.

"You're right. You're not watching. You're going to run your patrol and I'm going to work this little mare before I work Geronimo." I reached up on tiptoe to kiss his cheek. "I'll text you when I'm finished."

Not giving him a chance to say anything to me, I pulled away from him and entered the corral where Text had just finished tying the mare's head. He clapped me on the shoulder. "Have fun!"


	37. Chapter XXXVI

**Author's Note: Please see my profile for information about this weekend. It dawned on me that I have never taken the time to write this out. So here it is: I have been blessed as a writer on this site to have some of the most loyal readers in the world. If I could hand out an award, I would. I just wanted to take the time to thank every single person who even glances at my work. I don't think you will ever understand how much it means to me. Thanks, all. Enjoy!**

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**Chapter XXXVI**

I strode confidently into the center of the arena, stooping only long enough to pick up the whip fro the ground. My anger was bubbling in my chest. I was usually a relatively passive person. I didn't care about what people had to say about me. There was something about insults to my horseback riding skills, though, that crawled under my skin immediately. And, as I was learning, it was worse when it was Jared that questioned me. I loved the boy; I knew that I did. I also knew that I was a better rider than he was giving me credit for.

The little mare tossed her head again, wary of my presence in her domain. She would quickly come to learn that this wasn't _her_ domain. She could be spirited, have fun, and be stupid. She just had to listen to me when I asked her to. I flicked the whip in the air, knowing it would spook her and cause her to take off running. "That's a girl," I praised. She reared at the sound of my voice, having clearly been penned up in her stall too long. She was young, fresh, and green. She needed a little more run time that a horse, say Geronimo's age. "That's enough of that. Come on; run around like a good girl."

I flicked the whip again never hitting her but making the whip crack in the air. After a few moments of watching her attitude on the right lead, I moved myself forward a little so I would be standing just in front of her shoulder when she made her next round. I lifted the whip perpendicular to my side. She slammed to a stop, dust flying all around, and tossed her head. Raising up on her hind feet, she spun around. I noticed that it was a relatively good roll back. "She'd make a good cutting horse," I called to Tex. She was a good sized little mare, but I could tell just by the way she dug her haunches into the dirt when she stopped and turned that she would be good.

"She's too big," Tex called back. "Almost fifteen-three. She'd never keep up with those little fourteen-handers." I couldn't help but like her, though. She was fun, spunky. I could tell just from watching her reach for her leads that she would be a good ride, a solid ride. She was going to be fun. "Solid little trail mare if you can break her."

"I'm not going to _break_ her," I retorted, snapping the whip to make her quicken her steps. At least she was getting lazy. That meant she was cooling off enough to where I could get on her and work her to the bone.

"Tame her, break her, whatever you want to call it," Tex called. "I got better things to do than argue semantics." I laughed at him as he walked away. Tex always wanted people to think that he was some uneducated hick from the forest. What they would never know was that he was actually a veterinarian. He'd killed himself going through school and at the end of it, decided he'd rather run the ranch than be called out to save it. Though his title did have its perks. We never had to call a vet out for vaccines. He shod all the horses for a bargain price. We never had to wait for people to find La Push, Washington. We had Tex.

I turned the mare again, but didn't crack the whip. She'd been running for some ten minutes now. Truly running, balls out sprinting. When she turned though, she slowed. She trotted, albeit a little faster than I would like. "You're not a Ballistic," I said as she slowed a little more. "We have to get a better name for you, huh pretty girl?"

"Kim," Jared's voice carried over the settling quiet. I could hear the filly breathing hard as she trotted, but she was calming down. I glared up at him, shading my eyes with my hand. "Please don't ride that thing. Tex calls her _ballistic_ for Christ's sake."

"What's your point, Jared?" I asked quietly. I was never one to get angry and shout. I wasn't even one to hold real venom in her voice. I just wanted to be quiet, to avoid the argument. "Every day, I watch you go out on patrol. You say that it's all going to be okay and that you'll come home safe."

"I always do, don't I?" he growled at me.

"That's not the point here. I watch you go and I trust you to know what you're doing. I trust that you know how to fight these things, Jared. I _know_ how to ride a horse. I know how to train a horse. I've been doing this the majority of my life. I know what I'm doing. Whether you want me to or not, I'm riding that horse," I hissed. I took a step back towards the filly. She'd stopped and walked to the center of the arena. She was heavy, her belly rising and falling quickly. "I just wish that you'd trust me enough to believe that."

Taking care not to spook the young horse in the pen, I reached for the knotted leather reins over the horn. She stood still, a comment on Tex's good training. It was that good training that had that mare standing stark still. I tossed one of the reins over her neck and crossed mine with it. I grasped both reins and mane in my left hand, grabbing the pommel, and planted my left foot in the stirrup. I held the horn of the saddle in my right hand and hauled myself up.

I hated smart horses sometimes. The filly waited until I was settled in the saddle with the reins gathered in my hands to explode. I clenched my knees around the leather of the saddle and picked up my hands in front of my chest. My heels were practically pointed down to the ground as I waited for her crow hopping to stop. She didn't, though. I pulled my right rein back and dug my left heel into her side, just in front of her cinch. I forced her into a tight circle, preventing her from crow hopping and trying to buck. I circled her twice before I reined her to a stop. Keeping the reins tight, I leaned down and patted her neck. "You're a little miss Cleopatra," I declared.

I knew then that I was in love with her. I needed that little horse. I was just going to have to talk to Tex and see where she came from. "I think we're going to call you Cleo," I said, turning her back towards the fence and kept the reins tight so that she would, hopefully, stay at a walk. "Kim, please," Jared begged again. My anger flared up. I turned the horse sharply towards him. I had just collected that mare without a problem, didn't eat the dirt didn't have a problem. He took a few steps closer towards the fence to convince me to get off the horse.

For a brief second, in my anger, I forgot that Jared didn't smell human. Geronimo had balked at him when he'd first met him. Tex had said that Mytus was slow to warm up to him either. I neared the side of the fence where Jared was standing, making the greatest mistake. The shiny black horse stepped within range of Jared's smell and snorted. She didn't simply balk at Jared. She tossed her head and sprinted across the little arena. My balance tipped precariously. I hadn't been expecting her to run.

"Kim!" Jared screeched. He'd undoubtedly seen me about to fall. He flung the gate open, probably intent on hauling me down this time. The filly snorted again and whinnied in displeasure, turning on her hind quarters again. I grasped for the reins, but somewhere in the chaos, they'd been pulled from my grasp and into Jared's. My anger kicked itself up another notch, but I didn't have time to examine it.

She reared one last time and did the last thing that I was expecting. Her front feet came crashing down on the soil, her hind legs going up behind her, all the way up above her back. Without the reins to pul her head in a regain control, I lost my footing and found myself tossed in the dirt. I landed with a humph, the air rushing from my lungs. Pain speared the side of my head and my shoulder. I groaned and rolled to my back, the blood thumping in my ears. I heard Jared call my name again, but it sounded like it was coming through cottoned ears. I heard more thunking, but it wasn't inside my head this time.

Hooves came rushing at me before I could roll away. Jared had let her go. Damn fool! The end of a hoof clipped my chest. "Tex!" Jared screamed now. I tried to take a deep breath, but I couldn't get the air into my lungs again.

Jared wouldn't be able to calm the filly down. She was going to hurt herself, hurt me or Tex. Jared would be fine, but that was mostly because he was superhuman. I struggled to my feet, the world around me growing hazy. "Sh, sh, sh," I whispered to the filly. I reached out my hand to her. She stopped suddenly, like she just realized that I was okay. Horses were smarter than people realized. She knew the second I hit the dirt that she'd done something wrong. Jared's shouting hadn't helped either. "Come here, Cleo," I called. I held my hand out, my head hanging low. She touched her nose to my hand and I sagged in relief. "Good girl," I breathed as the world began to fade to black.

"Kim!"


	38. Chapter XXXVII

**Author's Note: I'm so, so, so, so, so, so, so sorry. I had assumed that I was going to have WiFi and time and I had neither of them. Please don't hate me. Here's the next chapter! Love you all, Enjoy!**

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**Chapter XXXVII:_ Jared's Point of View_**

"Kim, please wake up," I begged her from my spot in the ambulance. The EMTs had actually tried to tell me that I couldn't go with her because I wasn't family and a boyfriend wasn't a good enough relationship. It took all my power to tell them that she was my imprint and if they didn't back the fuck off, I was going to tear them all limb from limb. I had told her not to get on that damned animal. I had told her that it wouldn't be smart and she hadn't listened to me.

What was worse: the animal had stepped on her. The EMTs suspected that she had a few fractured ribs, but nothing that wouldn't heal up. They were more concerned about the soreness that she seemed to have in her shoulder. Even unconscious, she'd shied away from their examination of it. "Son, her body is trying to protect itself. She isn't going to wake up right now. She's asleep and she can't hear you," the older man in the bus said to me. I brought her little callused hand up to my lips and kissed her knuckles. She'd been hurt because I couldn't protect her. "Does she have family, son?"

"Yeah," I managed. "Her mother lives here in town. I can get her phone number for you." I dug into Kim's purse without hesitation and fished for her phone. "I don't know if you're going to be able to reach her, though. She works a lot." And she was a cruel, selfish bitch that didn't think about anyone but herself. Unless Kim's life was on the line, I doubted that Regina Conwell would be bothered to come down to the hospital. Except maybe to pick her up. That would make her look like a good parent.

I read the numbers out to the man. He scribbled them down on some pad and then grabbed a walkie-talkie. He spoke clearly into it, reading off some of Kim's injuries and her age. Before I knew it, we had pulled up to the hospital. The men scurried to get her unloaded. The older man kept talking, saying something about a head injury that I hadn't even been thinking of. She'd taken a good fall. I'd watched her head smack the ground. What if something was worse up there than I'd thought?

They transferred Kim to another gurney and wheeled her into the hospital. A young nurse put her hand up to my chest when I tried to follow in to the hospital room that they were leading her to. "I'm sorry, sir. You can't be in there at the moment," she said politely. My heart thumped in my chest. I tried to shove by her, not wanting to use more strength than necessary or hurt her. "I'm sorry, sir. You can't," she repeated. I dropped my shoulder, my only thought of getting back to Kim.

Embry appeared in front of my face, his eyes level with mine. "Jared, you heard the nurse. Now come on," he demanded, shoving against my chest. I tried to get around him and around the girl, but I couldn't. Embry was just as quick as I was. "Jared, stop," he commanded, pushing me back towards the waiting room. "You're not thinking right, man," he whispered when we were alone. "You've got to use your head. What were you going to do? Wolf out and run back to Kim? That wasn't going to do anything. You should have seen you shaking, Jared. You got to be smart about this, dude."

Insistently, he shoved me down to a chair and settled next to me. "What happened?" I shook my head. I couldn't figure out what I was supposed to say. I couldn't believe that this had happened. This wasn't supposed to happen to Kim. She was so kind, so loving. If she had just listened to me it wouldn't have happened. She should have gotten on that horse. She was just doing to prove a point. What the hell was there to prove? I knew that she was a good rider. I knew that she could ride the beast. "Jared? What happened?"

"I think she was trying to prove that she could ride any horse, but she shouldn't have. Her trainer called this horse ballistic. I begged her not to get on and she did anyways. Just to prove that she could, you know?" I shook my head and leaned down. I rested my elbows on my forearms and palmed my head in my hands. "This can't be happening, Em. It just can't." I couldn't lose her. With her in my life, everything made sense. It was all okay again. I couldn't lose her. What would my life be like if I didn't have her?

"Where is she? Where's my daughter?" Regina Conwell shouted as she marched into the house. I shoved up to my feet and glared at her. Kim was so determined to show that she could do anything because of her mother. Her mother had messed her up. "What did you do to her?" she demanded when she noticed me. "What happened to my daughter?" I saw a desperation in her eyes, a look that said that she actually did care about Kim in some regard or another. The venom in her eyes was real, was _motherly_.

"She was thrown from her horse," I said. "Well, not _her_ horse, but one that she was riding. It spooked at something and stomped on her when she was trying to get it to calm down again."

"What happened to her? Is she going to be okay?"

"I don't know," I admitted. "They haven't let me back to see her. She was unconscious when we got in the ambulance. I'm waiting here and I can't do anything until they call me back."

"Well, I'm her mother, so they'll let me back to see her," she promised. She marched with the regality and authority of a queen to the nurse's station. "My daughter is Kimberley Conwell; she was brought in on an ambulance. I'd like to see her please." She may have said please, but there was no denying that she wasn't asking to see Kim. She would not be denied.

"Miss, as I told the young man that came in with her, the doctors are examining your daughter. She is not in an area that I can allow you," she turned her deadly gaze on me, "either of you, back to see her. I'm sorry, but there are protocols." I groaned and dropped my head back in my hands. Regina turned around, clutching her designer bag to her chest. The woman seemed to soften when she looked at Kim's mother, the pain in her eyes. "I'll let you two know as soon as I can."

I needed to run, to get away, to get my temper in check. But when I thought about standing up and leaving her sitting in this hospital, I couldn't do it. I couldn't leave her here to suffer on her own with just her mother. "I should never have let her get a horse," Regina mumbled from her place beside me. "I should have made her do gymnastics or figure skating. Or maybe ballet. She could have lost the weight and been a wonderful ballerina," she muttered.

"Will you shut up?" I asked her, my voice deadly quiet. "Kim loves that horse more than anything else in the world. Getting her that horse was probably one of the only good things you've ever done for your daughter. Kim deserves so much better than what you give her. You want to know why she was on that horse? Not just because she _loves_ to ride, which trust me she does. But because she wants so desperately to prove that she's good enough. She wants to prove that she can do things, even hard things. She doesn't think that she's good enough to be your daughter. And I see now that you only help squash those feelings in her."

"She's settled in a room," the nurse announced. I shoved to my feet and turned so that I was facing her.

"I hope that you see how great your daughter is," I muttered. I turned away to start walking down the hall. I noticed that Regina was moving, probably too shocked by what I was saying to want to mess with me again. I didn't care. I needed to get to Kim. _She_ needed to stand up to her mother; not me.

The nurse led me down the hallway to Kim's room, standing aside so that I could get in to the little area. Kim's hair was wild about her face. I'm sure there was sand and dirt caked in there. Luckily the doctors had gotten her face clean. She looked like an angel, a sleepy fairy set on the bed to sleep. I sank down in the chair beside the bed and took the hand that didn't have an IV in it. "Oh, Kim," I whispered, looking at the bag of medication dripping into her arm.

She roused slowly, like she had heard me and thought that it was a dream. "Jared?" she called, looking up at me. Her brown eyes were clouded with drugs. I brushed her hair away from her face and smiled at her as sweetly as I could. "I'm still mad at you," she muttered in the moments before the hand that I was holding held mine back.


	39. Chapter XXXVIII

**Author's Note: I noticed some reviews where people were surprised that there wasn't more drama. I thought I'd just clear that up real quickly. The scene wasn't meant to be the ****_"_****ultimate confrontation." Jared was more concerned with Kim than he was with her mother. The drama that you all are wanting will be coming up!**

**Chapter XXXVIII**

The sound of bickering was my alarm some time later. I couldn't say how long it had been or really, where I was. But I was comfortable and warm, happily dreaming of a world that I had never dreamt of before. In that world, Jared was holding me close and kissing me in a way that I had thought was repulsive. My dreams could only last so long though. The angry words being spat back and forth ultimately filtered through my haze of happiness and started to wake me up. I squinted against the white lights and thought to lift my had to dispel the crustiness, but found that I was trapped.

Jared was standing by my bed, his anger evident. His hand was wrapped tight around mine, like he was going to keep me there. Of course, where _there_ was, was still a mystery to me. "I love your daughter. Say whatever you want, I'm not leaving," he growled. I began to feel him quivering, shaking like he was about to phase. I turned my face to try and figure out where I was and came face to face with a heart monitor. A hospital. I was in a hospital. I heard my mother command him to get out, but Jared just growled.

"Stop it," I murmured. Through half closed eyes, I watched Jared's chocolate orbs snap down to meet mine. He sank down into the chair beside the bed and leaned over the mattress, the hand not holding mine reached up to cup my cheek. "I need to talk to the both of you," I muttered. "Alone," I added. Jared's eyes went wide and he shook his head adamantly. "Not you, silly," I coughed. I flopped my head to my mother's eyes, feeling more tired than I had in a while. "Mother, I need to talk to Jared. Alone," I repeated.

"Like hell you do," she announced. "I will not be leaving you and that _boy_ alone in this room for one moment. Look what happens when you two are alone, Kimberley. You almost died today. You are lucky to be alive and well." I didn't want to tell them the truth the thing that would freak them both. My mother would...well she would declare that I was nothing worth her time. And Jared would try his damnedest to make me better again. "I refuse to leave you in here with him, Kimberley."

"Then I suppose that I can start with you," I replied quietly. "I suspect, Mother, that you won't be happy with what I have to say."

"I am your mother, young lady. Don't you plan on using that tone with me," she snapped. Jared growled at her and sprang to his feet again. "You will sit your ass down young man. I am to talking to you. I am speaking with my daughter. You have no right to be here."

"Yes, he does," I said a little louder than I normally would have in a confrontational situation. I may be angry at him, but Jared was still the only person that I had for me here. He cared about me in ways that I had forgotten that people could. "I'm old enough to make my own decisions, Mother. I know what how to live my life and what I want from it. You don't get to make those decisions for me." I said. Jared fumbled with the remote to help me sit up, but he never let go of my hand.

"Kimberley, don't you dare speak to me like this," she growled.

"Why not?" I snapped back. It was about time that I told her the truth, the things that I really felt. "Because it hurts to think that someone might not be happy with you? That you've done the things that you thought were best, that you've worked as hard as you could and it is still getting you no where?" I took a deep breath to calm myself, feeling my anger and hurt bubble and spiral out of control. "That feeling sucks, huh? Yeah I know, _Mother_," I mocked. "You've made me feel that way for as long as I could remember."

"I most certainly have not," she retorted. "I have given you the best of the best. The finest school, the best training, the greatest friends and you turned it all down. You said that you wanted a horse and tack. That's all you've ever wanted from me. You wanted my money."

"No," I sobbed. My strong facade began to crack, my despair beginning to show through. "No, Mother, I wanted more than just money." Unbidden tears began falling from my eyes, clinging to my lashes and begging me to stop this madness. "I wanted a mom, not a _mother_. I wanted someone to hold me and sign lullabies to me and ask me about my crushes. Instead, I got a knocked up, high school cheerleader who wanted to prove to the world that she was better than a teenager parent."

"I am warning you Kimberley," she threatened.

"Jared's right about a few things, though. You won't take my horse from me because you are vain enough to want people to know that I win, to want to brag about me being the best at something. Even if it's something you hate," I continued. Jared remained a silent presence at my side, holding my hand and letting me say my piece. "So you won't take Geronimo and you won't stop paying Tex. There is nothing else that I want from you, Mother. Nothing, save your approval. I have fought for that for years." I took in a shuddering breath and looked up at the ceiling. "I want to live with Jared. Not because I need protection from you, but because I'm happier with him there. I'm happier with _someone _there for me."

"Mrs. Callahan was supposed to be there for you," she retorted. "The second that you were unhappy you should have said something. I could have dispatched her."

"You really think that getting rid of the help would have helped?" I said, using a normal voice now. "I didn't want another nanny. I wanted you! How are you not getting this?" For the first time in the minutes that I had been speaking, Jared squeezed my hand as a reminder that he was there, that he was supporting me. "You have hurt me in more ways than you can possibly imagine, Mother. I can't stand basements. I'm afraid that someone is going to lock me down there for good. I can go near a dress because I hear you're criticism in my head with everyone that I try on. I don't make friends because you told me that I never would. I stick to what I know. I will never be the daughter that you want."

"No, the daughter I wanted killed herself, like a coward," my mother retorted. Jared growled, because the statement wasn't just a judgement on Katie, but on Amy as well.

"No, Mother." I sobbed with abandon now, the tears dripping like steady rainfall. "_You_ killed her. You refused to acknowledge what had happened. You made a victim feel like it was her fault, just like you made me feel like it was my fault that I was never good enough. It didn't matter how much work I did. It didn't matter how hard I tried. I was never good enough. Katie didn't know what that felt like. God forbid she did, Mother. She was your perfect little angel. How many times did you say that while you brushed her hair? While you did her makeup? While you told her how beautiful she was?

"But when she turned out to be a little less than perfect, you turned your back on her. She had no friends at school, not after the incident. She had Amy and you wouldn't allow that _slut_ in your house." Jared growled now. "If Katie'd had people to turn to, a mom who _really_ loved her, she wouldn't have killed herself."

"I love you and I loved your sister." I chocked out a strangle half sob, half laugh.

"That's how I know you don't." I took a deep breath so that I could say what I really needed to. "You don't love us and I know that because a real parent doesn't stop loving their child just because she dies. A real parent doesn't judge her daughter for being the victim of an assault. With your actions then, Mother, you confirmed what I always knew, but what I'd hoped was a lie. You are exactly what Dad you were. You are heartless and cruel. You thrive on hurting the people around you. You have to build yourself up so high so that the truth can't knock you off your prideful podium.

"I have let you rule my life for too long, Mother. I'm done. I forgive you for the pain, the hurt, the cruelty. I'm not going to let you control me anymore. I'm going to love, and love hard. I'm going to trust. And I'm going to see myself as beautiful. No matter what you say. I just hope that one day, you'll realize what you've done."

"I won't sit here and listen to this garbage," she said, but for the first time in my life, she sounded slightly flustered. "I want the rest of your things out of my house at the end of the week." She didn't say anything, but I noticed her hands shaking as she reached for the doorknob. When the click echoed, I turned my face towards Jared's chest.

He gathered me close and made room for himself on the bed, stroking my and petting my hair. "I'm so proud of you, Kim," he muttered against my skin, pressing a kiss to my neck.

"Don't," I commanded. "I'm mad at you, too."


	40. Chapter XXXIX

**Author's Note: I don't know if there will be any more chapters for my other stories tonight. I have a paper to right. If that's the case, there will not be an update for this story tomorrow. Sorry, guys. Enjoy!**

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**Chapter XXXIX**

"What do you mean you're mad at me?" he asked, furrowing his brows at me like I was confusing him beyond all belief. I couldn't help but stare at him. How did he not know that this was all his fault? And what was this vindictive side of me that wanted desperately to tell him what had happened? To explain to him what he had done? To tell him not only his part in my injuries, but what they meant for me now? I didn't look at him, though. I kept my eyes to the ceiling. "Kim?" he begged quietly.

"You should have trusted me," I whispered, back to my quiet self. "You should have believed that I knew what I was doing. Instead, you tried to take matters into your own hands." His eyes went wide for a brief second and then narrowed as his brain processed what I was saying to him. "Geronimo and Mytus both took time to get used to you, Jared. I think that sometimes you forget that you're part _wolf_. Horses are scared of wolves. You scared that little mare. Her eyes told her that you were human and her instincts told her that you were a threat."

"She bucked because you couldn't control her, Kim," he tried again, but there was very little conviction in his voice. "It's okay, sweetheart. She was just too much horse to handle." I scoffed a laugh and raised my eyebrows at him. "Why are you looking at me like that? It's kind of scaring me." I wondered how long it would take for him to understand the hint. I was trying to give him a chance to recant, a chance to say, "Sorry, Kim; I'm being a jackass." Evidently, his confusion was still too great for that.

"She bucked because she smelled wolf. I was fine, Jared. I wasn't even freaking out until I realized that I didn't have reins in my hands. Do you know what to do when your horse takes off like that? No!" I practically shouted. "No, you don't because you've only been on fully trained horses. But I do. I know how to pull her head back and force her to turn, like I did the first time. This is what I _do_, Jared. This is my passion. I would have been fine if you had just given me control. But you didn't. I trust you to go off and do what you love every day and you couldn't give me that for a few minutes."

"I was just trying to protect you."

"By taking away the feeling in my hand?" I screeched now, tears welling up. I could ride with one hand. I could show in certain events, but I would never be able be able to work cattle again. Not competitively, at least. I couldn't rope. I couldn't team pen. I looked down at the hand that I had yet to pick up. The doctor's had woken me before my mother and Jared came in. He'd explained, in words that made no sense to me, that it would be a matter of time to see what would heal.

The disks that surrounding my spine, protecting my spinal cord, had suffered trauma from the fall. According to the doctor, one of the disks had swelled to the point that it was pressing against the line membrane surrounding my spinal cord. That already limited the feeling that I had in my arm, but it was combined with swelling in my forearm and hand. According to the doctor, any swelling in the hands put pressure on nerves. In a lot of words, I had no feeling in most of my left hand.

"What do you mean?" he asked, his mouth open like a fish. God, I didn't want to tell him. My intentions of making him feel bad had gone out the window now. I didn't want him to feel guilty for something that was beyond our control. I just wanted him to admit that this was his fault. I had everything under control. I wouldn't be lying in a hospital bed with broken ribs and disk injuries to my spine. The injury itself wasn't his fault. The circumstances that surrounded it were his fault, but the horse had kept bucking even after she was away from what she considered dangerous.

"The doctors say that it may get better with time. When the swelling in my hand goes down, I should be able to feel more. They don't think that I'll need surgery though," I tried to soothe. He didn't look at all comforted. "Okay, here's the deal." Slowly, I began explaining what had happened, what the doctors suspected the fall had done and what their hopes were. Jared's eyes were intent on me as I spoke. The anger that I had felt to start with had disappeared. I found myself wanting him to blame me, to tell me that it was my fault for not protecting myself. Because anything was better than his silence. Anything was better than knowing that he was doing exactly what I'd actually hoped he would.

"This is my fault then," he said. My heart crumbled inside my chest while I tried to shake my head. "No, Kim, it is. That's what you were trying to say, right? I shook my head again, but he dropped my hand and began to pace along the foot of the bed. "I should have trusted you, Kim. You're right about that. I just... I could see that she was a little wild. I was scared Kim. Scared that something would happen. That something like, well like this would happen." I could see him fighting with himself, trying to figure out how he could get me to forgive him.

"Jared."

"I'm so sorry, Kim. Here I am telling you to stick up to your mom -"

"Jared."

"Because she had no faith in you. And I did the exact same thing that she does."

"Jared," I called again, but I was getting no where with him. He was nothing like my mother. He didn't try to destroy me.

"She breaks you down with her words and I did the same with my lack of faith in you."

"Jared."

"I know that I don't deserve it, but I hope that you can accept my apology and find it in your heart to forgive me."

"Jared!" I screamed now. He turned to look at me finally, his heart in his eyes. "Please come and sit with me," I said in a whisper. He hesitated for a moment and stepped up to the bed. The mattress took his weight, his hip pressed against my thigh. The desperate look on his face hurt. How could I have wanted him to feel bad? This was wrong. He hadn't intended to hurt me. And while his faithlessness had wounded my heart, what he'd done, he'd only done for my protection. It was misguided and incorrect, but it was done with the best of intentions.

"I'm so sorry, Kim," he whispered. "I _know_ that you know how to ride a horse. I should have trusted you. I was worse than your mother," he berated himself. "At least you know what she's like. I led you to believe that I would be there for you and then I acted just like her." I lifted the hand that I could still feel and pressed it to her cheek. "I've always said that you deserve better than me."

"I don't want anyone else," I replied quietly. "And I don't think anyone _better_ exists." His lips twitched a little, his eyes warming ever so slightly. "You are nothing like my mother, Jared. The things that she does aren't to protect people, but to make herself feel better. You were only trying to keep me safe; I know that."

"That's no excuse," he said juts as softly. He reached over my body and grabbed my currently useless hand. To say that I had no feeling in just my hand was wrong. There was less feeling in the entire limb than there had been before. Extending four inches from my elbow was nothing but tingles, like the feeling you get when your foot falls asleep. But my hand, there was no feeling there. "I'm going to make this better, Kim. I promise. We're going to make this good again." I watched his thumb stroke over the skin exposed on back of my hand, a stab of disappointment when I still couldn't feel it. "Did the doctor say what they could do to help this?" he asked then.

"Not really." He looked disappointed for a moment. "They have to wait for the swelling to go down before we can decide what to do next. From the sounds of it, though, everything revolves around physical therapy." He lifted the digits and pressed a kiss to my knuckles. I couldn't stop the tear that escaped when I still didn't feel it. "I'll probably never show in a cow again," I said quietly.

He placed my hand in my lap and cupped my face in his hand, brushing the tears that had fallen away. "Yes you will," he promised. "You're going to be fine, sweetheart. This time next season, you'll show them all." He pressed a kiss to my forehead. "I'll be here with you the entire time. Every appointment, every treatment. I swear." He kissed my cheek this time, but it still wasn't where I wanted his lips. I frowned, but he took it as something else entirely. "Unless, of course, you don't forgive me. I mean, that would only be fair. I asked you to put complete faith in me and when it came time for me to do the same, I didn't."

I chuckled and stroked my thumb over his cheekbone. "I will only forgive you if you kiss me," I whispered. I was certainly feeling bossy today. Jared must have noticed as well. He beamed at me.

"Yes ma'am," he muttered.

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**I'm not a superstitious person, but literally two days after I posted Kim's wonderful fall, I was thrown from a horse I was training and stepped on. Apparently, my brain was trying to warn me of something. Happy Reading!**


	41. Chapter XL

**Author's Note: Here's the next chapter, guys. Please see my profile for information coming up in the next couple of days. There will be a new timetable tomorrow. Just FYI! Enjoy!**

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**Chapter XL**

My mother didn't come back to see me. I hadn't really been expecting her to, but it still stung a little bit when she called and authorized Jared to take me home from the hospital. I knew what she was like. "You've just got too big a heart," Jared said when I confided my pain in him as we were leaving the hospital. "And no matter what this big ol' brain you have says, your heart still believes the best in people." He took my numb hand in his, a habit he had grown found of while I was in the hospital.

I looked back sorrowfully at the white building. I wished that I could be done with that building, but I would be back a few times a week for physical therapy and check ups with the doctors. By the time that I stopped thinking about my mother and therapy and doctors and turned my attention back to Jared, we had already turned down a different road than the one that would take us to my former home. We had agreed that we should go there and get my things before going to his house. "Where are we going?" I asked.

"Took you long enough," he smiled down at me. "I have an I'm-a-jackass-and-I-should-have-trusted-you present." I cocked an eyebrow at him. "You'll like it; trust me," he said in reply. I nodded and rested my face against the window pane of my truck. I might as well start calling it Jared's truck since he was the one driving it. "So my dad and I went over to your mom's and got the rest of your stuff. Everything's a little more cramped, since your new room is significantly smaller than the old one. But everything's there."

Before I could inform him that my new bedroom had several improvements, like its proximity to him, he turned down the dirt road that led to the barn. "Why are we going here? Is everything okay with Geronimo?" I heard him chuckle at me, but he didn't reply. I hated when he did that. "Jared, is everything okay?" I asked, just to make sure.

"Yes, Kim; everyone is fine. Remember, I said we're here for your present," he laughed again. I breathed a sigh of relief, one that disappeared when we parked in front of the gym. My uncle was standing in front of us, his back to us while he talked with Tex. "Calm down," Jared said, releasing my hand to squeeze my thigh. "He's a good guy in all of this." I pursed my lips and looked up at him. "Come on, Kim. He helped me put your present together. You'll like it, I promise." He got out of the car and ran around to the side. "Besides, my dad and Tex are both here to see this. It's not like any of us are going to let anything happen to you," he said when he took my nerveless hand in his again. I tried to get down from the seat, but he only stepped closer ad rested his forehead against mine. "I will never let you get hurt again, Kim."

"I know," I whispered in reply. "Now why don't you show me whatever it is that you have to show me so that we can go home."

"We're not going home. We're going for a trail ride."

"Jared," I warned. I wasn't afraid of horses, least of all Geronimo. But there were so many things that could happen out there. Without control of both my limbs...

"Kim, I don't want you to lose your passion. Not for this," he whispered against my lips now. "You love to ride and you're damn good," he continued. "You know what you're doing on a horse. I should have trusted you. We both know how much I regret that. Please Kim, don't second guess yourself. Both hands, one hand, Hell, no hands; I know you can do this," he said. He kissed my lips, giving me the reassurance that I didn't even know that I needed. His hands found their way into my hair, musing the ponytail that he had put up for me.

A throat cleared from over by the barn. Jared's groan vibrated against my mouth and into my throat before he pulled away. "We're coming," he grumbled, taking my hand and pulling me the rest of the way out of the car. "Okay, so whatever happens, you must promise that you're going to freak out. I have thought everything through and my father and your uncle are both in support of it. And I don't think that we need to talk about Tex. He's a little ecstatic about this." Jared was a little ecstatic.

"What did you do, Mr. Littlecreek?" I asked him then, laughing bubbling in my own throat. He was a little too proud of himself for my tastes. "You're awfully happy with yourself," I said. He beamed at me and slid his hand to my back, guiding me closer to where three men were gathered. Tex was holding a bright blue lead rope in hand. Jared's father, to my surprise, was also hold a forest green colored rope in his hand. "What is going on over there?" I called out in surprise. Jared's quiet snort of laughter made me turn critical eyes on him.

"She's just dying of curiosity," he laughed, reaching a hand out to Tex. "After you accident, I called your uncle, here," he began slowly. Tex handed him the lead line, which he gently began gathering. "After our conversations about your dad and the letters, it seemed only right that he be informed about your accident and the changes that were made." I nodded in understanding and sent a meek smile in my uncle's direction. "Then I got to thinking about that little mare that threw you." He gave more of a tug on the rope, hopping his hand farther up the line. "While I'm loathe to admit it, she was something spectacular. And you looked incredible on her, Kim. She's the same color as your hair.." The line came a little closer, the clop of hooves accompanying his movements this time. "So, I called your uncle here. We talked about a thing or two and then we got her." He pulled again, bringing the beautiful mare into the light.

"I don't understand," I whispered, reaching my hand out to pent the solid black beauty in front of me. She pressed her nose more firmly against my hand.

"Kim," my uncle spoke. "Jared explained how much you love this; how much your father would have wanted this. He was a smart man, Kimberley. He left me money to help you with, to pay for school or houses or cars... Or I guess a horse in this case." I frowned a little, trying to process the words. "Not that I'm taking credit for all of it," he continued. "Jared had to build another pen-thing for this one. And he's agreed to help you by feeding and stuff for Tex. Your mother will have nothing to do with them."

"You bought me a horse?" I asked, looking up at Jared cautiously. I noticed then that the little mare was already saddles up, courtesy of Tex undoubtedly. "You were afraid of me riding this thing, Jared. Why would you -"

"Because I know that you can do this, Kim. Because I saw you riding her. I saw you fall in love with that horse," Jared replied. "Besides, Cleopatra is not the only surprise today," he added. He put the line in my hand and handed one out to his father. He took the green rope and tugged until a solid white horse came forward. "This is Phantom," he explained. "And he's mine. I think he'll complete our little trio quite nicely. Solid black, solid white, and then our mix."

"You bought a horse?" I giggled at him. He nodded.

"A good one. Tex found him for me. It was just luck of the draw that he was solid white," he replied. Like Cleo, Jared's Phantom was saddled, unbridled, and ready to go. "Now give your hugs out like I know you want to and then we'll head out."

"On _her_?" I squeaked, looking over the feisty mare.

"Tex's been working with her since she tossed you. She's been worked down and lunged. She'll be good for you," he promised. I must have still seemed nervous though because he leaned in close. "I'll be right there with you, Kim. Besides, you've said a million times that you're a good enough rider to handle that horse."

"She is," Tex assured.

"Now quit acting like a baby. Go hug your uncle, go hug my father, go hug Tex and we'll head out. I've seen you get thrown and get up before," he added, pushing me towards my uncle and his father. "Go on."

I realized then what Jared was doing. He was showing me that he had faith in me, that he knew I could do this. "I love you, Jared," I whispered.

He kissed my cheek in return. "That's good," he chuckled.


	42. Chapter XLI

**Author's Note: There is a new timetable that has been posted. If you're interested in knowing ****_when_**** stories will be updated, please see my profile or PM me. Also, NO SUNDAY CHAPTERS. Sorry guys, but I guess we'll have to live with six chapters a week. Even God took a day of rest. Enjoy!**

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**Chapter XLI**

Physical therapy was...going. I still had no more feeling I my hand two weeks after being released than I had after it happened. Jared was right about Cleo; Tex had been working with her and she _had_ calmed down a great deal. She wasn't my easy ride, like Geronimo, but she was never as difficult as she was that first day. Jared came out with me everyday for at least two hours to take care of Phantom. He was using one of Tex's saddles, though I suspected that Tex was letting him work the thing off. It was kind of nice to have my alone time combined with time with Jared. A wonderful blend of everything I could ever want.

But I was still frustrated that I couldn't feel anything in my left hand. "If you stop getting so frustrated with it, it'll heal up," he said one night when we were sitting in my bed. Jared's parents were going out of town for the next five days, though his father had made it clear that there was to be no "funny business" over the weekend. "If you could just do me a favor and have a little faith in it, I'd appreciate it," he added. I was lying on my side with my arms pinned between our chests. I closed my eyes ever so slightly and sighed. "I think my dad's getting a little suspicious," he said while I was just drifting.

"What do you mean?" I asked softly.

"I think he knows that we've been sharing your bed," he elaborated.

"It would help if you would actually wash your sheet every once in a while," I muttered. "And the fact that your bed looks like it's never slept in." I yawned and tucked myself a little closer to him.

"Go to bed, Kimmie," he laughed. I nodded and rubbed my nose against chest before drifting off to a peaceful sleep.

The next morning, when I woke to find Jared helping his parents load the car, it dawned on me that I was going to be alone with the man that I'd been in love with for...forever. Unfortunately, I had no idea what I was doing. I wanted more from Jared, from our relationship. I wanted all those things that I'd heard about, seen in movies, but never had the chance to experience. I suppose it would be best to be clean, first. "Do you guys need help?" I called down the stairs.

"No, Katie dear," Mrs. Littlecreek called back. I sighed. I had been living with them for months now, but Mrs. Littlecreek still didn't realize that I was Kim, not Kate. Whenever she realized that Amy wasn't at the house, she made up an excuse. Amy would be asleep or coming home or finishing up her homework before coming downstairs. I know that it saddened Jared that she wasn't getting any better, but there was nothing we could do about it. "When that lazy girl of mine wakes up, will you tell her that I want her to do the beds?"

"Of course, Mrs. Littlecreek," I replied, squeezing the older woman around the waist. I bounced off to the bathroom and stripped down to nothing before hopping into the shower. "There has to be a way to show him," I muttered, the fingers of the hand I still felt playing with my bottom lip. I troubled the soft skin, trying to think back on all the books that I'd read, the ones I'd snuck from my mother's room. The women in those stupid stories were all so confident. They knew what they wanted and they weren't afraid to go after them.

But I was afraid.

I knew that Jared would never reject me. He _did_ love me; he'd proven that a million ways. The question wasn't whether or not I would be accepted, but rather if he was just as willing as I was. Jared may have some kind of plan, something he didn't want me to know about. There was all was the possibility that he wanted to wait until we were married. I didn't know why he would want that, but I guess I would have to respect that.

I leaned my head against the cold tile, hoping that it would cool me down. Girls weren't supposed to get like this. This was supposed to be a boy's territory, this desire to have sex. The hot water rolled over my body and I couldn't help but wonder how Jared's hands would feel. He was warmer and softer, with rough calluses that chaffed my skin whenever her touched me. It was like rubbing electric sandpaper over my skin, sending shivers down my spine. My heart sped up, my dream becoming far too real for me.

I jerked my head from the tile, spun around, and turned the water to icy cold. I needed to get my mind out of the gutter. A lady couldn't expect chivalry when she acted like a whore. "Kim?" Jared's voice called through the bathroom door. "Are you okay?" he asked. "Your heartbeat went a little crazy there," he explained.

I would have this problem while stuck in a house with a man-wolf with super hearing. I took a shuddering deep breath and rubbed at my forehead, just where it connected to the bridge of my nose. "Yeah, Jared, I'm fine. I was just, uh, startled by the water. It was colder than I was expecting," I lied. I could practically feel his frown through the thick wooden door. "I'll be out real soon," I promised.

I tilted my face upward to take the cold water straight against my eyes and face. I could still feel embarrassed flames licking at my cheeks, undoubtedly tinging them red. "He had the be the best looking boy in school," I muttered under my breath. With another deep sigh, I reached for the shampoo and lathered my hair as much as I could with one hand.

When I was finished, there was no steam on the mirror or windows, since I'd bathed in ice water. I wrapped the towel tight around my body and padded towards my bedroom again. I found myself licking my lips and looking down, still struggling to get a grip on my thoughts. I smacked straight into Jared, walking up the stairs with his coffee cup drawn up to his lips for a long drink. I squeaked in shock, throwing my arms out in the hopes of catching myself.

"Shit," Jared muttered. I heard the thunk of his mug against the little table in the hallway before his arms wrapped tight around me. Which was probably for the best because I was coming down hard on my left arm. I wouldn't have been able to catch myself. I didn't even realize that it was the side I was coming down on. "You okay?" he asked, not the slightest bit breathless. My chest heaved in between the two of us, my body trembling from the surge of adrenaline.

I tried to nod, but the motion was too shaky to really be considered a _nod_. "I was j-j-just distracted," I muttered. "Lost in m-m-my thoughts," I expanded. I rested my good hand on his chest, using his closeness to hold myself up and allow his smell to calm me. He was woodsy and warm and spicy and... and male. I couldn't swallow my groan as I realized that, having barely just woken up, Jared was still shirtless. If the boy had his way, I strongly suspected he would be shirtless all the time.

"What were you thinking about?" he asked innocently enough. Heat rushed to my face and I forced myself to look away from him, my embarrassment becoming evident. "She blushes?" he chuckled. "Now you have to tell me what you were thinking about." I shook my head, my anxiety growing. He was full-out laughing at me now. My ire was sparked, but not enough to say something. It was better to keep my nose to my chest and hope for the best. "If you don't tell me, Kimberley, then I'm going to have to start guessing," he warned. My eyes narrowed while I considered that. I highly doubted that Jared would assume _my_ mind was on sex. I doubted anyone would assume that's what quiet little Kim Conwell was thinking about.

"Fine then," he said, tucking me more securely against his chest. I could feel every hard line of his body pressed against mine. "Were you thinking about your mother?" I shook my head, feeling a little more confident with my decision to let him guess. "Were you thinking about the horses?" I gave him negative again. "Were you thinking about my parents?" I barked a laugh at that one and shook my head again. "Were you thinking about me?" My heart stuttered, but I would never lie to him. So I nodded, tucking my lip between my teeth. "Interesting development," he muttered, his hot breath fanning over my face. "Because I was thinking about you too," he breathed against my lips.

I slid my right hand from his chest to the back of his neck. Maybe I could get him to _think_ that this was all his wonderful idea. I tugged ever so slightly, but that was all the hint Jared needed.

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**Author's Note Cont.: I am considering putting a more mature chapter up for the next chapter. If you could leave a review and tell me what you would think about that. If I get enough "yes's" then that'll be tomorrow's chapter. If not, forget it. Let me know!**


	43. Chapter XLII

**Author's Note: I know that there were some of you who didn't want a MATURE CHAPTER, but the majority wins. The way that I write these has nothing to do with the plot, so if this isn't your thing, skip this chapter. For those who wanted this... Enjoy!**

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**Chapter XLII:_ Jared's Point of View_**

She wrapped her arms around my neck and tugged ever so slightly. I brought my mouth to hers because that's what she was wanting. Hesitantly, in a way that was so Kim it took my breath away, her tongue tripped out of her mouth and brushed against my lower lip. She'd been getting so much braver in the last few months, understanding that I truly loved her, knowing that she could try anything she wanted and I would never deny her. God I would do anything that she wanted me to do. "Kim," I breathed.

Softly, but insistently, she shoved against my chest until I was backing up. I had been expecting there to be a wall behind me, but found myself traversing back into the bedroom. I could feel myself getting a little too carried away. We tripped and stumbled, which never happened to me. I tried to catch myself before I hit the ground, but was too late. I tightened my arms around Kim's waist, holding her tight so that she wouldn't get hurt when she landed. Her quiet little giggle whispered into my mouth as we tumbled. "Kim," I repeated. She only laughed again.

I wasn't sure what I was trying to tell her or why I was so insistent on being heard, but I did know that we needed to stop this. Now. I was going to get carried away and end up hurting her. I needed to talk to someone, Sam, anyone about how to handle this. The wolf inside of me was dying to break free, to bury myself deep inside of her and give her everything that I had. I wouldn't be able to control myself. I would hurt her or worse: I would scare her. My shy, quiet Kim would be terrified if she only knew that things that I wanted to do with her.

I was sprawled out on the floor, my hands finding their way to the skin exposed. My fingertips played with the edge of the fluffy towel. It would only take one little tug, one slight pull with my fingers. All of her glory would be left bare to me. I would be able to touch every soft inch of her. The thought of it made me want to take that towel from her right then. Of course, it didn't help when Kim spread her knees so that she was straddled about my waist.

Her hand slid from my neck to my chest, bracing herself over me. Her hair, damp and curling about itself from lack of brushing, fell over her face like a curtain, shielding us both from the scrutiny of people who weren't there. Not that I would have noticed them with the feel of my imprint naked against my chest. I caught her lip between my teeth, giving it a kind nip. She gasped and moaned into my mouth, the thick towel the only thing between us at the moment.

"I can't," I groaned. As gently as I could manage, I pushed us both upright and placed Kim on the bed. Her cheeks were flushed, her lips swollen and tinged almost purple. "I, uh," I cleared my throat and tried to think of an adequate reason. "I have to run patrol. I'll be back real soon." I didn't give her a chance to say anything to me. I tugged on my hair and bolted down the stairs. Bolted back to safety. I phased the second that I hit the forest, sprinting with everything that I had in me.

_What's wrong?_ Sam asked politely. My brain flashed images of Kim, lying on top of my chest. The towel was so close to letting go of her breasts, of letting everything fall open. _Okay, that was more than I ever needed to see of your imprint_. I growled as I realized what I'd come so close to exposing. The thought of having anyone else see my imprint in all her glory was unacceptable. _Cool your jets. I'm not going to take her from you. I got my own, remember?_ I nodded briskly. _Now what's wrong?_

So I explained. I explained the bent up desire. The need to take her, the fear of losing her. _Look man, it's going to sound cliche and stupid and, frankly, girly. But the best advice that I can give you is to talk to her. Because if you don't cool off and go back to that house, you're going to lose her. _I growled, the thought making my spine arch like a cat's. _No, listen to me Jared. You tell yourself that you will never reject her, but that's exactly what you did to her._

_ I did not!_

_ Not in your mind. But in hers, that is _**_exactly_**_ what you did. She was trying to start something, Jared. And you walked out on her. She tried to show you what she wanted, but you left her in a bedroom, _**_naked_**_! In her mind, you rejected her. Let's not even begin to talk about the fact that you left a beautiful, naked girl in a room by herself after she quite literally threw herself at you._

_ When did you get so smart?_

_ Living with Emily has its perks._ He smiled a wolfy grin at me. _You finish up your run, cool yourself down. Then go home and talk to the girl. Okay?_

_ Too damn smart for your own good, _I muttered.

_Well, since you're going to be running, I think I'll head home to _**_my_**_ imprint._ He laughed at me when I groaned. I couldn't go back yet. I had too much to think about, too much to decide.

It wasn't like I didn't love the girl. I did. I loved her kindness, her innocence, her determination, her quiet warrior spirit. The girl may be quiet and meek, but she was strong if ever the trait existed. She wasn't afraid of me, even when I was at my angriest. Even when I was yelling and screaming to the world and everything and anything, she didn't mind. Would I really terrify her in the end? Sam and I had talked about marking, about what it would do to her. Would I scare her, when she realized that I was going to sink my teeth into her neck? That there were certain things about me that were going to be more animal than man?

When I'd finally gathered up all the courage to tell Kim that I wanted _more_, that I wanted this, it was dark. I collapsed down in bed beside my imprint. There was no evidence of tears on her face, which kind of surprised me. She was smiling slightly, clearly dreaming happy dreams. "The things you do to me, Kimberley Conwell," I muttered, rolling myself against her side. She repositioned herself in her sleep. Her head pillowed on my shoulder, her good hand trapped between us. I took her numb hand in mine and pulled it up to lie on my chest. She may not have feeling in the limb, but I could still feel it. I loved to feel the warmth of her again me. It brought comfort; comfort that lulled me off to a peaceful sleep.

Kim's one hand traversed over my chest, tracing each line of my muscles. I applauded my imagination. Normally, in my dreams about Kim, she wasn't this perfect combination of sweet, shy, and exploratory. Normally, we just jumped right into things. In my dreams, at least. But this...this was infinitely sweeter. Her hand moved north, over the plains of my face. She traced the outline of my lips with rough, callused finger. I shuddered under the hand of the phantom. "Kim," I muttered.

Her hand left my skin, leaving behind a cool wind that chilled me to the bone. I groaned, wanting that hand back. "Kim," I said again, a plea this time. I was begging her to touch me. My eyes were still fused shut, fear of losing this dream having sewn them shut. But I was moments away from opening my eyes when it happened.

That hand wrapped tight around me. I heard a little sigh of relief from her, but it was nothing compared to the sigh that left me. Although it might have been closer to a shout of joy than a quiet sigh. Tentatively, I felt her hand move up until her thumb was at the crown of my manhood. "Oh, God Kim!" I grunted. I heard a quiet chuckle that was much bolder than my quiet little Kim. Her hand slid back down again. She hummed a little question in her throat, like she was unsure about what she should do next. I liked this dream. It was so real.

Cautiously, I slid my hand to find her wrist and wrapped my hand tight around it. Her skin was real, warm and solid and... And real. My eyes popped open.

Kim was leaned over me, her hair tossed over her shoulder. The tips of it covered the tips of her nipples. She had her lip tucked firmly between her teeth, focused intently on her task of pumping her hand like I was asking her to. "What in God's green Earth are you doing?" I demanded of her.

She opened her mouth like she was going to respond, so I just stared at her expectantly. Of course, then she did the last thing I expected and leaned down to allow her mouth to cover what her hand wasn't.

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**This is just the beginning. Tomorrow's chapter will also be maturely themed. I know that I'm late updating and all that. I'm a little out of sorts today. Sorry!**


	44. Chapter XLIII

**Author's Note: Okay, all, here's the MATURE CHAPTER that you've all been asking for. Let me know what you think! Enjoy!**

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**Chapter XLIII**

He'd left me! He'd left me hot and bothered and sitting on his bed. After he'd said the phrase: I can't. _I can't?_ What was that supposed to mean? He didn't want me like I thought that he'd had? No; he most definitely had. I had felt the proof of that straining against his pajama bottoms. I had seen it in the way he held me and in the way that he'd kissed me. He wanted me. So then why had he run from me? I knew that he didn't have patrol! We'd talked about his schedule for the weekend when his father first announced that he was going out of town.

For a good fifteen minutes after Jared left, I just laid on the bed, regulating my breathing and calming my heart down. And I may or may not have been hoping that Jared would come back to the room and finish what we'd started. God I wanted to finish what we'd started. After an our of getting myself ready, it became clear to me that he wasn't coming back. I needed to talk to someone about this. Normally, that person would be Jared, but that wasn't going to work at the moment.

So I decided to call Ryanne. She would have something for me here. She would be able to give me some kind of advice for this whole thing. _"What's on your mind?"_ she asked immediately. _"No, no, wait, let me guess."_ People clearing wanted to guess my life today. _"You two are fighting because he doesn't like the idea of your horseback riding?" _I opened my mouth, but she rushed forward. _"No, that's not it. Jake said he just bought a horse with you. He... You think he's cheating on you?"_ I scoffed. _"What? You used to be rather insecure," _she defended. _"I give up. What it is?"_

"I want to have sex with Jared," I admitted. "And every time that I try to do something, I get shut down. I literally threw myself at him, Ryanne. I was wearing a _towel_ and that's it. I tried really, _really_ hard! And do you know what he said?" I didn't give her the chance to answer. "He said 'I can't' and ran out of the room. That was it. He was gone. He said that he had to go run patrol and he left."

_"You let him leave?" _she laughed.

"What was I supposed to do, Ryanne? Chain him to the bed?"

_"I said make him stay, not get into bondage,"_ she giggled. I flinched and made a gagging noise in the back of my throat. _"Okay, so he's gone? Well, he has to come back at some point or another. Put on something that you would consider sexy and wait for him. When he comes, you pounce. It's easy."_

"Says that girl who doesn't have this problem," I grumbled.

_"Okay, true that I don't know any better than you do," _she admitted._ "But I do know that your stronger than you're telling yourself you are." _I rolled my eyes. _"Okay, this is going to sound a little weird, but if this was a horse that wouldn't let you go and 'catch' him or whatever, you would keep going after it. You would make that horse listen to you."_ True enough. _"Now, that girl is in you _**_somewhere_**_ in you. You need to bring that girl out. Now, go get sexy and wait for your man to come back. Then, you don't take no for an answer."_

"Rye, I'm pretty sure that's rape," I laughed.

_"I don't think he'll call it that when you're done with him,"_ she replied. _"Have fun."_ She didn't even give me a chance t say goodbye or even to laugh. She hung up on me then and left me to my thoughts.

I busied myself during the day, doing anything and everything while I waited for him. I went out and took care of all three of our horses, showered again, and eventually decided to go back to see. I was more than a little disheartened that Jared hadn't come home. I would be lying if I said that my doubts weren't starting to creep in. But Ryanne was right. Somewhere inside me, the confident girl that was afraid of nothing on a horse was hiding. She would be the only one to get Jared to do this. So I went to sleep.

I hoped that Jared didn't realize when I woke up. I was most relying on his deep sleep and insanely loud snores that had woken me from my own sleep. "Jared?" I called quietly. "Jared, are you awake?" I gently shook his shoulder with the hopes that he would stay asleep. He grumbled something in his sleep and released me enough to roll on my side. "You're either going to be mad or really, _really_ happy," I breathed. Cautiously, I traced the line that ran down the center of his abdomen, dividing the muscles there. He groaned, my gaze flashing to his face. But his eyes were still closed, so I continued.

I gently scratched at his face with the tips of my nails, noticing that they were in need off some filing. Oh well, we'd just have to get through this without my nails being perfectly manicured. I tipped my finger so that I wouldn't be hurting him ad traced the outline of his lips. "Kim," he sighed. My heart leapt. He could say that he couldn't this time, but he wanted to More so than he had before. I licked my lips and removed my hand, but he only moaned my name again. It took a deep breath and gave myself a stern lecture about my strength, about my fortitude and slid my hand beneath his waistband. "Oh God, Kim!" he grunted, his hand bucking towards my hand. I smiled, swallowing my giggle as much as possible.

I was unsure what to do after I had him in hand, though. I may have read a book or ten about romance, trying to understand what this was all about, but that didn't exactly tell me what to do next. Luckily, Jared closed his hand around my wrist, gently prompting me to pump my hand. "What in God's green Earth are you doing?" he groaned. My heart thumped in the chest, nerves boiling in me. I was about to tell him what I was doing, but decided that there was something else that I could with my mouth. He groaned again loudly, his hand burying into my hair. He encouraged the bobbing motion that I was making with my head. "Shit, Kim," he added when I finally decided that enough was enough.

"I forgot," I said coyly, turning away from him. "You can't." I rolled onto my other side, so my back was facing him. There was a shudder behind him; I heard Jared exhale. And then I was being flipped onto my back, rolled underneath him. "What are you doing?" I chuckled. "I'm trying to get some sleep. I suggest you do the same." He growled at me, his eyes darkened with desire that I was literally dying to see.

"What are _you_ doing?" he moaned, resting his weight against me. "You can't just do, do, well do _that_ and then tell me to go back to sleep!"

"Why not? Just take like an hour or so; you'll calm down. That's about how long it took me this morning," I muttered.

"I don't want to scare you," he whispered, the hand that he wasn't using to hold himself up tracing the curves of my waist and hips. "Good God, you are beautiful." I smiled, not able to see it myself but believing him nonetheless. I craned my neck up to catch his lips, forcing him to kiss me. "Marking, Kim. We need to talk about marking," he breathed, his breath mingling with mine.

"I don't want to talk tonight, Jared," I replied. Hoping that he would obey, I pressed against his shoulder with my hand and had him roll to his back. I had been prepared when I woke, having shed my shirt and sleep shorts. I straddled him, grabbing his pulsing manhood in my hand and breathing a sigh.

"When did you get naked?" he asked me, though the sound was strained.

"You were tired," I shrugged, leaning down so that my chest was pressed again his. I lifted my hips again, my hand still snaked between us.

"Wait," he grunted. I stopped, my heart sinking in my chest. He didn't want this. "You got to have your fun, now it's my turn." Heat pulsed through me, the muscles in my belly contracting. His hot hands fit themselves to my hips and pushed me down onto his belly. I gasped at the feel of his skin against the part of me that had never been touched before. Slowly, he trailed his fingers upwards until he found the dip in my waist. "So, so beautiful," he whispered then, like it was a psalm. His hands pinched at my skin, squeezing slightly, possessively. Like he never wanted to let me go again. "How did I get so lucky?" he laughed after a few more minutes of simply holding me against his chest.

I began to squirm, feeling like nothing was enough at this moment. Jared leaned up and brought his mouth to the crest of my breast. I gasped and leaned into his mouth. His chuckle surged through the muscle and tissue and rocketed straight to my heart. I gasped when he let go of my hip to knead the breast he wasn't giving attention to. "Jared," I whispered, finding his chin with my hand and trying to pull him up to my face. "Jared," I moaned again. He smiled and switched to the other nipple.

My breath was coming in ragged gasps while he sucked and licked and eventually nibbled. "Holy God," I gasped. I felt his hot mouth leave my body then. He latched onto my lips then, but it still wasn't enough.

"I think I'll stick with Jared," he laughed then. His lifted his knees even so slightly and rolled me onto my back, leaning down to kiss me again. I was struggling to catch my breath with every emotion I'd ever felt swirling to become lust. He collected my wrists in one hand and pressed his weight onto his forearm. The hand on my hip wrapped slithered down, to brush against my inner thigh. I gasped loudly. "It's going to feel good, Kim," he promised.

I nodded. His hand slid up farther, until he found the heartbeat that was pulsing at that juncture. I grasped at the air again, but instead I only found Jared's mouth on mine. His tongue pressed into my mouth, his turgid arousal pressing into my thigh. Some part of my brain was afraid of the pain, afraid of what I would be feeling in a moment or two. Yet, my body knew exactly what it wanted. "Jared," I growled into his kiss as his fingers found the secret button I never knew existed. I bucked my hips against his and felt him laugh. "Jared," I moaned again, fear now building with the desire.

I wasn't sure what was happening to my body, but I could feel waves of heat rolling from me. A knot was coiling in my stomach, like a spring for a trap that was about to be set. It wound tighter and tighter, setting my heart to a palpitating rhythm. "Jared," I gasped again. He released my mouth and found my collarbone and neck and shoulders as he continued to play me line a finely tuned instrument. "Jared!"  
"Let go, Kim. Trust me, and let go," he breathed against my sternum. One final tweak of his fingers and the thread holding the spring snapped. I vaguely heard myself screaming his name. My thighs trembled, as if I was having a seizure of some kind. But if this was what a seizure felt like, I wanted more. Jared's hand and mouth continued to play until I was breathing heavily again. I flopped my head down against the pillows and sighed. "Open your eyes, Kim," he breathed against my chest. I did as he asked, only to find him staring down at me. "Are you alive?"

"If I'm not, don't bring me back. That was the best way to die," I sighed. He laughed at me then. I rolled him onto his back and positioned myself over him. "My turn," I muttered. He smiled and pulled me down to his chest, his hands splayed over my back. I gripped his organ, which was harder than I thought possible, and sank down. He groaned and grabbed hold of my waist with bruising force. Slowly, I lifted my hips, but Jared pulled me down again.

"Wait, Kim," he begged. "If you start, I won't be able to hold out very long," he promised. I laughed and kissed his nose. Raising my hips again and feeling him fall deeper inside. "Pain?" I shook my hand and leaned forward to press my forehead to his, deciding that I was the one in control tonight. My hips rose and fell faster and faster while Jared pleaded with me. He would beg me to stop and then to go faster.

Before I knew what was happening, I wound up on my back with Jared's hands pulling me towards him while he slammed into me with everything that he had. With a groan that rivaled my earlier scream, he stilled. A warmth surrounded me and broke another string I hadn't realized was there, sending me over the edge one more time. He collapsed over me, the weight of him almost crushing me, but it felt so good. All of it felt so good.

"Good?" he panted after a few minutes.

"Good," I agreed.


	45. Chapter XLIV

**Author's Note: I know I've been gone for a few days. I was hit with some virus and have been throwing up nonstop. Every time that I thought I was feeling better, I started to feel sick again. Anyways, this is just a filler chapter for the day. Remember that there are no longer Sunday chapters. Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter XLIV**

When I woke the next morning, I was hit with just how comfortable I was. Jared's arm lie draped over my waist. His cheek rested against my shoulder. It was a position that he seemed to favor, his lips pressed against my bones possessively. I inhaled, thinking that I wanted to get up and clean myself up before he woke up. "Don't even think about it," Jared muttered, his breath washing over my skin. I shivered in his arms. He pulled me even tighter to his chest, his smile pressing against me. He flipped me around so that my chest was pressed into his. "Good morning," he grinned down at me.

The fingers of one hand lifted to stroke my neck. His touch always scent a wave of emotion coursing through me, but this was different. It was the closest thing to our intimacy last night that I had ever felt. I gasped loudly and arched into him. "It's a mark," he whispered. I reached up to feel the scabbed over bite with my own fingers, confusion etching my brow. "What's wrong?" he asked, smoothing my hair away from my face.

"When did you do that?" I asked softly. He proceeded to remind me of our midnight escape, in terms that had me blushing redder than the ripest strawberry in summertime. I knew that I had to get up at some point, but it was so difficult with Jared holding me and whispering into my ear. We were lost in our own little world of bliss, one where nothing could interrupt us and it was perfectly acceptable to lie in bed all day without a care in the world.

"Hey, Jared, I'm starving and I was on patrol and -" Paul's voice was drowned by Jared's growl. I found myself pulled under Jared and the sheets tugged over my head. I heard Paul curse and mutter something about "Little Conwell" but then there was a thud and everything was silent. "You could've just asked me to go downstairs," Paul shouted through a now-closed door. Funny that I hadn't noticed that we left the door open until now. Cautiously, I peered out from underneath the thin linen that I'd been covered in.

"Sorry," Jared whispered, his arms trembling almost a mile a minute. "I thought we were going to be alone." I shrugged like it didn't matter, because in truth, it didn't matter at all. I would get up and get dressed and then Jared and I could join the rest of the world. I sighed at the opportunity lost. We could have spent the entire day in this bed and I would have been completely content. Jared didn't seem to mind that our day was, in my mind, ruined. No, he kissed my nose and brushed my hair away. "Why don't you get up and shower? I'll go kill Paul and then I'll start some breakfast for the two of us?" I laughed at his casual mention of murder.

"Don't kill Paul. He didn't do anything wrong. You left the door open when you came home last night," I giggled. He opened his mouth, but I rushed on. "And don't say it was y fault. I was preoccupied with other things last night." He laughed now and kissed me again, despite the fact that I was sure I had the worst morning breath possible. "Okay, I have to go shower and brush my teeth. I'll meet you downstairs in just a few minutes," I promised him, pulling away when I was sure my breath was too much to bear.

I had never thought that I would like Paul LaHote. Throughout the years, I had seen him as a womanizer and a jerk. The more that I got to know him, learned about his childhood from Jared, heard stories about him and his little sister, I realized that it was just a front that he put up to keep people from knowing just how angry and hurt he was. In a lot of ways, he was like me. "Good morning," I whispered shyly when I came downstairs. I had pinned my bangs back, but otherwise left my hair down to cover the the two distinct marks on my neck.

"I thought that's what you two were up to," Paul said, sticking his nose up in the air and sniffing loudly. "As if one of you smelling like you wasn't enough. God Jared," he shook his head. I looked between him and Jared in confusion. "You didn't explain it to her? What is wrong with you?" Jared growled at him. "He marked you. It makes you smell more like him instead of you, but to everyone else, you smell like poison. It makes sure that you're safe from other supernatural bad guys." I nodded slowly. "You are supposed to explain these things before you bang them, Littlecreek." I blushed.

"Paul eat your food or get out," Jared said tightly, reaching behind him for a coffee mug. "This is my house after all," he added, holding the ceramic mug out to me. I sipped in silence for a few minutes, pretending to be interested in the list Mrs. Littlecreek had on the refrigerator. "Hey Kim, so there's this bonfire tonight. All the Pack is going. And since you're my imprint, you are officially part of the Pack. So I was thinking that we could go," he said after a few moments. "Unless you have other plans."

"No, a bonfire with your friends sounds great," I whispered. Though there was the fear that I was going to be the sore thumb. I reached up with my left hand to pour more coffee when I realized what I was doing. When I realized that I could feel the plastic handle of the coffee pot. "Jared," I whispered, still holding the pot aloft. He looked at me quizzically, but didn't say anything. Still I waited for him to see what was happening.

"What's wrong?" he asked. I lifted my hand higher in front of his face. Cautiously he sniffed at the pot. "There's nothing wrong with it, Kim. Are you feeling okay?" He took the canister from me and put it back on its hotplate. His hand pressed against my forehead, like he was testing for fever.

"Maybe you knocked the sense out of her last night," Paul suggested.

"Paul, shut up," Jared snarled. "They said that the medication they've been giving your for your hand can make you a little sick to your stomach. Is the coffee making you feel sick?" I shook my head and pressed my lips together to hide my mirth. "Does your head hurt?" he asked then. I shook my head again. "Kim, I'm not a mind reader here."

"I can feel my arm," I breathed. I hadn't even realized at first that I suddenly had feeling in the whole arm. The swelling couldn't have possibly gone down over night. No; this had to be some miracle. His eyes narrowed for a moment, his brows hooding his gorgeous brown orbs. Then everything seemed to click in his brain. He tugged the coffee mug away from my hand and dropped it on the counter with a _clunk_.

He swept me into his arms, spinning around quickly and grinning. "You can feel," he laughed when he set me back down. I smiled stupidly at him. "You could have just said something," he added, kissing my cheek. "Standing there holding a coffee pot didn't really do much for me." I giggled. "Thank God. We've had more than enough time waiting, wouldn't you agree?" I nodded.

"The healing power of sex," Paul inserted. Our happy, celebratory moment ended just like that. I hid my laughter at Paul's comment while Jared dumped his plate of food onto a paper plate. "Dude!"

"Nope; you're done," Jared announced. "Get out." Carrying the plate like a dog treat, Jared led him to the front door. I heard it slam shut loudly while I spooned potatoes and eggs onto my own plate. "You'll have to excuse the mutt," he said loudly. "We're still house training him." An answering bark sounded from the backyard. I rolled my eyes at him and sat down at the bar to start eating. "I told you that you just had to stop being frustrated with it," he added.

"Yeah, I directed my frustrations at you for walking out on me yesterday," I muttered. He gave a sound that was half laugh, half groan and kissed the crown of my head. "I think that we should bring potato salad to the bonfire tonight. Doesn't that sound good?"

"No," Jared retorted.

"I thought you like the potato salad that I made a couple of weeks ago?" I questioned. I could feel the hurt that seeped into my voice. I never thought that he would lie to me.

He elbowed me lightly in the ribs. "Which would be why it's not okay to bring it to the bonfire. I don't want to share."

"You are such a boy."


	46. Chapter XLV

**Author's Note: We're in the honeymoon phase of life here. Who knows what's going to happen next!? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter XLV**

Jared let me go to ride my horses. Geronimo would always be a special animal to me. We'd had too many times together, the good, the bad, the ugly. But there was something about my little Cleo that I found myself loving. She was faster and wilder than Geronimo had ever been. It was silly, but I wanted to believe that there was something in her that reflected me, that lingering deep down in me, there was that wildness, too. "Good morning, Your Highness," I said as I shoved her paddock gate aside. Jared'd had to build another paddock for poor Tex, since he'd insisted that we board the three monsters beside each other.

Cleopatra tossed her head at me, her attitude evident to any and all. "Guess what, you little stinker?" I asked her, checking her feeder and water trough. "I have feeling in both my hands which means you're in for it today," I explained to her. She let me slip the halter over her nose and clasp it without problems. She even followed me out to the tie station. She was a good horse. She had a lot of spirit to her. It was a change for me.

I'd worked with a fully trained horse for years. Geronimo may get a little exited, but it took a lot to get a big reaction from him. Riding a horse that required as much attention as Cleo was difficult but so much fun. I took both reins in hand and kept my hands up, prepared for the slightest buck. I walked her one round on each lead before setting out to the lope, my excitement too much to contain. "Keep her head in," Tex shouted from his own mount when she tossed her head and gave a mighty jump to start her step.

I loped her until I could feel her calming down again and came to a stop, a nice set of elevens behind me. "Good stop." I whipped around at the sound of the voice. I didn't recognize the deep tone. The man reined his mount to a stop, the chestnut dusty from the dirt kicked up in the arena. Cleo tossed her head and snorted at the man and his horse. "I'm Johnny," he said politely, extending his hand to me. I released my hold on one rein and gathered them in my left hand and took his hand. "Pretty little mare you've got there," he added, giving my hand a firm shake.

I reached down and patted her neck, though it was sweaty from her nice run. "She's green, but she'll be good when she gets some more time put on her," I agreed. He was white with brown eyes and chocolate brown hair. He smiled at me and revealed a set of pearly white teeth. His hands were smooth, like he hadn't seen a day's work in his life. I sat myself up straight in the saddle. "Nice looking chestnut you've got there," I complimented in return.

"He's a good guy," he said. "I didn't catch your name," he added when I began walking. I frowned, mostly because I was confused.

"Kimberley," I finally said, because I could see no harm in telling him my name. If he was going to be around the barn, I might as well know him. "If you'll excuse me, I should get on with her workout. She gets a little barn sour being in her stall." I didn't wait for his permission. I pressed my spur into her flank gently and led her to a lope. "Tex," I said, sliding to a stop beside him. "Who is that man?"

Tex waved a hand at him. "He's a new border. One of those city boys who thinks he doesn't have to do anything. Between you and me, he didn't even saddle his own horse today." I frowned at that. "I know what you're thinking. But Kim, we don't have the right to refuse to board some sissy's horse. Money is money." I nodded, but wished that it could be different. "Don't judge him too harshly. He's not a real rider. He's just someone who knows how to ride a horse." I nodded again. Cleo needed to learn to listen to me, not do as she would. For that reason, I stopped her and made her patiently wait for my signal to roll back. I lifted my reins, prepared to give her that signal when Tex stopped me again. "I don't like him, Kim. So do me, and Jared, a favor and stay away from him." I rolled my eyes at him and nodded, turning Cleo around and setting off at a working trot, posting the entire way. "I'm going to pull out a few cows in a little," he added.

I lifted my hand in a lazy salut and kept going. Cleo kept her nose down and her head, making me smile at the progress that she was making. In fact, I only rode her for two hours before deciding that she'd had enough. I walked her back to one of the three crosstie stations in the hallway. I left her there for a few minutes while I pulled Geronimo out of his stall. He stood, practically asleep while I stripped Cleo of her tack and began placing it on my boy. "Two horses?" a voice called down the hallway. "Busy girl."

I ignored him and unclipped my horse. I kept a firmer hold on her than I would on my other horse, but she was still green. There would be plenty of time to get her trained up. I neared the wash-rack and dug my cell phone out of my bra. _"Hey babe. How's the hand?" _Jared asked immediately.

"If you keep asking, it might just spontaneously lose feeling," I warned, having grown sick and tired of his question. "I'm fine. I just finished up with Cleo and am getting ready to ride Geronimo. Are you going to make it down to Phantom today?"

_"I don't know yet. If you have the energy, feel free to hop up. If not I'll make it down there after the bonfire," _he promised.

"I just did two hours on Cleo. My energy is already flagging," I teased. "I'll let him out to run around while I ride Geronimo and we'll go from there."

_"Sounds like a plan,"_ he agreed. _"I love you."_

"Love you, too. I'll see you soon." I shoved the phone into my back pocket and tied Cleo to the pole. I started at her legs, letting the water spray the dirt off her feet and legs. I moved up her legs, over her chest, up her neck, down her back and over her hind quarters. I brought her back to her ties. Geronimo lifted his head to look at me pleadingly. "I know, boy, but let me get Phantom out of his stall first. Then we'll be ready to go."

"Three horses, huh?" the guy said then. I ducked my head and ignored him again. I was almost as good at ignoring people as I was at being ignored. "Someone's a busy bee," he added. I kept walking, but felt myself being followed. Over my shoulder, I could see the man following me to the round corral. Phantom tossed his head and bucked around when I let him go. "So tell me, do you spend all your time here? Or do we allow for some fun every once in a while?"

I hooked Phantom's halter over the lock on the gate and turned to find him looking at me. "Is there something that I can help you with?" I asked, feeling rather rude. "There's shampoo and conditioner at the wash station."

"I was just saying hello," he replied.

"I believe we got our introductions over with," I replied in kind. "Unless there's something that you need, I see no reason for us to keep saying hello to each other." I brushed passed him and up onto over to my horse. I swiftly bridled my horse and led him outside. "Have a nice day," I added kindly.

"Maybe you could wait a few minutes and I'll get my horse saddled again?" Yeah, but who was going to saddle his horse? Apparently, not him. "We could go for a trail ride." I tried not to raise my eyebrows and make the rude remark that came to my head. Instead, I simply shook my head and trotted to the arena so I wouldn't have to hear him. "Hard to get only works if you eventually give in," he shouted.

Was it wrong that I hoped that Cleo kicked the stupid dude in the head? Probably, but it didn't stop me from wanting something to happen. Still, once I was on my horse, all of my troubles began to melt away. I wasn't thinking about my complicated life or the decisions that I had made. I needed a day at the barn, that was for sure.


	47. Chapter XLVI

**Author's Note: This story has differed from my others in the fact that it's been mostly drama free. For the past forty-five chapters, we've been living in the honeymoon phase and watching our couple fight through things together...  
I declare this honeymoon over.  
Enjoy!**

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**Chapter XLVI**

I was showered and cleaned, wearing ratty old flip-flop sandals that I hadn't put on in ages, when my phone rang. "I'll be ready in just a second," I told Jared. I pulled the device from my pocket and answered, balancing the thing against my shoulder while I pricked the deviled eggs with tooth picks so that the plastic wrap wouldn't ruin them. "Hello?" I answered. There was a moment of silence on the other end. "Hello?" I repeated after a few seconds.

"Miss Kimberley?"

"Mrs. Callahan? What are you calling me for?" I asked rudely. "I thought that my mother terminated your employment."

"She was forced to reconsider, Kimberley. You're mother has a quite a reputation among housekeepers. She went looking for help and couldn't find anyone." My mother had quite a reputation with everyone. Of course, I didn't voice that particular thought. "Your mother is the reason that I'm calling, Kimberley," she carried on in her British voice. "God knows your mother would fire me if she ever found out that I called you, but I think it's time that you knew."

"Knew what, Mrs. Callahan?" I asked, stopping what I was doing to hold that phone up to my ear instead of cricking my neck.

"I took your mother to the hospital about a week ago," she said sheepishly. "They diagnosed her with cancer, Miss Kimberley." Cancer? My heart thumped unevenly. "Stage four, Kimberley. She told me not to call you, but last night, before I brought her back to the hospital, she was asking for you and Miss Katherine. I thought it was about time that you knew."

"Why did she go back to the hospital, Mrs. Callahan?" I begged.

"Because they are trying to get it under control," she replied. "Listen, Kimberley dear, I know that you two have had some kind of falling out, but I've been with this family for a good long while now. Kimberley, I practically raised you. If it weren't for me and your father, I'm sure that you and your sister would have turned out just like your mother. I know that you're angry with her, and justly so, but she is still your mother. I think that you should go to this hospital, Miss Kimberley. Before it's too late."

"How sick is she?" I asked before I could lose the gumption.

"The cancer's all over her body now," Mrs. Callahan replied. "It's nearing the end as far as anyone can tell."

I thanked her for her call and promised her that I would call her back after I got back from the hospital and hung the phone up. I tried to continue sticking pins in the egg halves, but I couldn't keep my mind from straying to my mother. My father hadn't told me to abandon her; he'd told me to tell her to truth. He wouldn't want her to be alone in this hospital; not when she was dying. Once upon a time, my mother had been a different person. My father had even said as much to me in one of his letters. "God bless it," I muttered, tearing the plastic wrap and covering the eggs.

"Kim, are you almost ready to go?" he asked me.

"I'm not going," I replied, sighing heavily. "My mother's in the hospital and I need to go and make sure that she's okay."

"Are you kidding me?" Jared asked. "She didn't come and see you immediately," he added.

"Jared."

"No, Kim, seriously. She has never shown you an ounce of kindness in all the years that you can remember. You're going to go down there and do what?"

"And be there for my mother," I retorted, anger welling up in me. "You're supposed to be there to support me through everything, Jared. That's what you told me. Now this is my mother that we're talking about, Jared. She's my family. I will be there for her no matter what." Just like he promised me that he was going to be.

I turned around and grabbed my windbreaker from the hook and my keys from the ledge. "I have always imagined that when I fell in love, it would be with a partner; with a ma that I would be equal with for the rest of my life."

"We are equals, Kim; I don't know why you're acting like this."

"Are you serious?" I asked quietly. "You told me that you would support me in anything that I decided to do, but right now, you're making it sound like whatever _you're_ okay with," I whispered. "This is my mother. She will _always_ be my mother, Jared. If you're going to force me to pick sides, you should know that I'm going to pick my side."

I was walking out the door then, my keys swinging from my index finger. "That doesn't even make sense, Kim!" he shouted after me. "I don't want to see you get hurt. And you're going to get hurt if you let that woman back into your life. You are stronger than that, Kim." I ignored him. "What do you mean you'll pick your side?"  
"I mean that I will _not_ be forced to pick between my boyfriend and my mother. I mean that if I allow my heart to become hard and I avoid her, then I become just _like_ her. I will not turn into my mother, Jared. Have fun at the bonfire."

With those words, I stormed out the door and into my car. My mother had cancer. The phrase kept replaying over and over again in my head, but I couldn't make it real in my heart. The woman had always seemed invulnerable in my mind. There was never a day that I could remember where she didn't seem like a giant, like a stone statue that was never going to get ruined. She was impossible to defeat, like Goliath.

But some little tumors that she'd never even known she'd had were her David. She was only thirty-eight. She was going to die this young? She was going to die so soon? I didn't even know how to make reparations. I wasn't sorry for the things that I had said, but I did need to apologize for its delivery and timing. The conversation should've taken place when I wasn't angry and worried and stressed. It should have been between the two of us; just the two of us. At least, those were the things running through my head when I arrived at the hospital.

I spent a good twenty minutes sitting in the car, my forehead resting against my steering wheel. Finally, I gathered up my courage, the same courage that had landed me in bed with Jared only a day earlier, and got out of the car. "I'm here to see Regina Conwell," I told the receptionist. She looked me up and down, noticing my windbreaker folded over my forearm and my flip flops, no doubt.

"Ms. Conwell isn't accepting visitors," she replied shortly.

"She'll see me," I promised. "I'm her daughter." That brought her attention back to me. She asked for identification, which I gave. She called ahead to the nurse's station by my mother's room. It didn't take too long before I was walking down the stark white hallway to my mother's room. "Mother," I called quietly.

I hadn't seen her in weeks. The woman who was lying on the hospital bed looked little like my mother. This woman was paler, sicker, with stringy hair. Her bones were practically pushing through her skin, stretching the thin layer between them and the rest of the world. The regality that I normally associated with my mother was gone. She was truly sick. "Kimberley," she greeted stiffly. "What are you doing here?"

"Mrs. Callahan called me," I admitted, feeling bad for getting the old woman in trouble, but needing to be honest. "She told me that she needed to talk to me about you." My mother's ghostly figured turned her face away from me. "Why didn't you tell me that you were sick, Mother?"

"Would it have mattered?" she asked.

"You are my mother; of course it would have mattered," I replied. "I'm here to take care of you, Mother."

"You don't even like me."

"That doesn't mean that I don't love you, Mother," I said softly. "I will always love you. Just because I don't agree with the things that you've done and the way that you raised me doesn't change that fact."

"Have you talked to the doctor's then?" I shook my head. "You know I'm not going to let some silly little thing like cancer kill me, Kimberley." There was the mother that I knew and remembered. I shook my head at her.

"I would expect nothing less, Mother," I whispered.

I watched in horror as tears filled her eyes. She motioned me towards the bed. I took her cold hand between mine and settled on the side of the bed. "How did an old witch like me raise a daughter like you?" she asked. She brought my knuckles to her mouth and pressed her lips to them. "I know I don't tell you this, Kimberley, but I love you."

She tried to turn her face from me again, but not before I could see the first tears roll down her cheeks. I always said an apocalypse would have to happen before my mother changed.


	48. Chapter XLVII

**Author's Note: My computer is trying to kill me. I swear! Anyways, here's the next chapter! Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter XLVII**

Jared and I weren't speaking. We had tried sure but everything came back to my decision to be there for my mother. Esophageal cancer. A few hours after I'd made the decision to go to the hospital, he called me. I, of course, answered with the naive hope that he was calling to apologize. No, he was calling to convince me to come home. He even tried to tell me that I had overreacted. He was, after all just trying to protect me. "The doctor's is here, Jared. I'm staying to find out what's wrong. I'll cal you later," I'd said.

The doctor hadn't been hopeful. After my mother had given him permission to tell me what was going on, he'd explained that the cancer had spread to different parts of my mother's anatomy. They could try radiation and chemo therapy, but the chances were slim with such advanced stage cancer. "What about surgery?" I'd finally asked. We had more than enough money in the bank. We could afford for my mother to be off of work for a few months. "Is there a way that we could remove the tumors and try to get rid of the other ones?"

The man in front of me sighed heavily. "The tumor that we're hoping to remove, the most dangerous one, is attached to your lung," he told my mother. "Ms. Conwell, I know that this isn't what you want to hear, but there is no way that we will be able to remove the entire thing. We can try, but ultimately." He paused, but I knew what he was going to say. Ultimately, the cancer was going to come back. "There is no way that we can get rid of this for sure," he said. My mother nodded her head.

"That's it? It's just a hopeless case?" I asked quietly. I may not have liked her all the time, but this was my mother. I couldn't just let her die. "We need a miracle, is that what I'm hearing?" My mother patted my forearm in a manner that was so unlike her that I didn't know how to react to it. She thanked the doctor, who promised her that they would try everything that they could before leaving the room. "There has to be something that we can do, Mother," I whispered. "I mean, other than just accept it and moving on."

"I want to go home," she replied. I frowned at her, thinking about all the things that were _here_ that could help her. "If it's as bleak as he's making it sound, then there's no reason for me to live the rest of my life out in a hospital."

"Mother, he didn't even give us a time frame," I replied.

"I want to go home, Kimberley." I sighed. "I'll let the nurse know. Hopefully, you'll be able to take me home," she added, though I could see a hesitance in her eyes. "I would understand, Kimberley, if you didn't want to."

"I'm moving back home, Mother. Someone needs to be there to take care of you," I replied.

"I have Mrs. Callahan," she replied, waving a hand at me.

"She's not your daughter, Mother. I'll be moving home to take care of you." She cocked her head to the side and looked at me with eyes that were softer than I'd ever seen before. She shook her head though, slowly, like she was laughing at herself.

"How did I get a daughter like you?" she asked again.

"I have to go and call Jared so he knows what's going on," I told her. She nodded and let me go, watching me rise to my feet and walk outside. I paced along the windowless wall outside her room, twirling my cell phone in my hand. He wasn't going to be happy with me. That was a lie; he was going to be angry. In his mind, I was siding with the woman who had hurt me for years. But I wasn't going to give her up. I wasn't willing to pick between my mother and my boyfriend. I cracked my knuckles out of habit and dialed his number.

_"Everything okay?" _he asked after only one ring.

"No; it's not," I admitted. "My mother has cancer, Jared. Esophageal cancer that has spread through the rest of her body. The biggest tumor has attached itself to her lung, so they can't remove all of it. No matter what they do, the cancer is going to come back."

_"So what are you going to do?"_ This was the hard part. For the moment, he was being supportive. But he wasn't going to like what I had to say, what I'd decided to do.

"I'm moving back to my mother's, Jared. She needs me there."

_"What you got trampled by a horse, she didn't come and stay with you,"_ he began. _"She didn't try to help you. She left you to me and my family. You're really going to go back there, Kim?"_

"Jared, this is my family. She is the _only_ family that I have left."

_"I won't sit by and watch you hurt yourself," _he retorted.

I'd hung up on him then. I couldn't listen to him anymore. He was just going to be angry with me for things that I wasn't going to change my mind about. I was sure in my thoughts and my opinions. My mother deserved her family to be there for her. It had hurt me when she'd refused to be there for me. I wouldn't do the same to her. I wouldn't be her. Hurting Jared in the process, making him worry about me... Well, that wasn't what I wanted to do. But I had said from the very beginning that I wasn't going to change myself to suit the needs and desires of my boyfriend. We weren't even back at square one, here. We were in negative squares because I'd never been so hurt or angry.

The nurses said that my mother could leave the following day. They wanted to make sure that she was going to be okay at home, even recommended home hospice care, which my mother refused. I was only seventeen; I didn't have the right to negate her desires. Being her daughter didn't matter. "I'm going to go to Jared's and get my clothes," I told her. "I'll be back to eat dinner with you." She shook her head again. "What? You don't eat dinner or you don't want me around for dinner?" I asked her.

"You don't have to upset your entire life, Kimberley."

"I'm not upsetting my life, Mother. You are my only family that I have left. I'm not going to let you whither away," I informed her. I swallowed hard, the thought of her dying clogging my throat. "I'll be back really soon."

Jared wasn't home when I got there. I grabbed my suitcase from the closet and tossed al of my clothes in. I felt like someone running, like one of those cheesy movie scenes where the girl leaves the guy. If wasn't like that for me, though. I wasn't leaving Jared. If I'd had my way, he would be there with me and my mother in the house. If I'd had my way, I wouldn't lose him because I wanted my mother. He was just going to have to get used to that. I shook my head with sadness when I had finally zipped up my suitcase. I sighed and brought the thing down the narrow staircase. I found a pad of paper lying in the kitchen and took it to the couch, settling it against my thighs.

_Jared,_

_I know you think that I'm overreacting. I'm sorry that you're so upset with me about it. This is my mother. She is the only mother that I have. I may not like her all the time, but I will always love her. I may not agree with the things that she's done to me. But I love her, Jared. I need to be there for her right now. She's the only family that I have left._

_That is not to say that I don't love you, jared. I do; I love you more than anything in this world. I'm hoping that you'll realize that this has nothing to do with the past. I'm hoping that you'll realize that this is about forgiveness. I have to forgive her, Jared. If I don't, I'm no better than she is. I love you, though. If you ever want to talk, please call me or text me or just come and see me._

_I love you._

I left the note on my bed, knowing that he would go and check my room when he got home. I could only hope that he would listen to me; that he would call me. I left, ate dinner with my mother, got her home the next day, talked to Mrs. Callahan, dealt with my life, tried to research my mother's cancer.

But three days later, I still hadn't heard from Jared.


	49. Chapter XLVIII

**Author's Note: I know that you all have been struggling with suspense. Any time that I'm gone for more than a day, please check my profile. For example, this weekend the internet in my apartment complex was out so I was unable to update. Also, I wanted to take a moment to tell you ****_why_**** the drama is happening:  
I really believe that regardless of whether your relationship is some magical thing or not, relationships that don't go through hardship don't make it. In the case of imprints, the relationship is destiny; yes. But it doesn't mean that everything is going to be rainbows and unicorns all the time. And in the specific case of Kim, this story is about her learning to stand up for herself. Hope you all are enjoying the drama for a little while.  
Enjoy!**

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**Chapter XLVIII**

"So, tell me about this boy of yours," my mother insisted five days after I'd brought her home. I hadn't heard a word from Jared, which was almost as painful as knowing that my mother was probably going to die. In the last few days, my mother and I had come to be closer than I could have imagined possible. I smiled and looked down at the cards that I was holding in my hand. I sighed heavily. In my opinion, Jared should have been there with me. My mother should've had the chance to know more about him.

"We don't have to talk about him, Mother," I said.

"Mom," she corrected. I smiled happily.

"We don't have to talk about it, Mom. I know that you don't like him," I said, putting down my cards.

"I didn't like him because I didn't like what he was saying," she admitted. "But realizing that you're going to die changes your perspective on things." I shook y head. "Oh, don't be like that. I know that you hate when I talk about it, but it is a reality, Kimberley. I didn't like Jared Littlecreek because he was saying difficult things; things that your hadn't been said to me since your father." She slapped down the last cards in her hand. "Nerds!" she shouted.

"Dad wrote me letters," I said. She looked at me with confusion. "I found them," I lied, worrying that my uncle would be a sore subject. "In an old box. He wrote me letters from the day that I was born on. He talked a lot about you and what you used to be like." She kept her gaze fixed on the blanket as she gathered the cards once again. "What happened to you, Mom? Why did you change?"

"Because I thought that it was a good idea. Honestly, I thought that I was doing right by you and your sister by teaching you the old way of things; by teaching respect," she whispered, deftly shuffling her cards. "Your father was doing better with his business. He was going to school while he was working. I was going to school, too. Everything was happening so quickly. Suddenly it was more important for me to impress people. I mean, your father was great with you kids, all the time. I wasn't really needed for that. So I started doing better at school and, eventually, I was doing so well that I didn't have to be home. You girls didn't really need me."

"We did need you, Mom."

"You never needed me, Kim," she laughed. "Katie needed me. She wanted to be like me. She wanted to be around me. You - - You wanted to be with your father. It was easy to let you slip through the crack, Kim." She shook her head then. "The truth is that I always had an admiration for you. You were the youngest. You should have been the baby and the one that had it the easiest. And instead, you fought me tooth and nail for everything that you wanted. Even after your father died, you continued to fight.

"You were right about the things that you said to me that night that we fought," she added. "You said that it was my fault that your sister killed herself."

"Mom, I didn't mean those things," I rushed out. "I just... I couldn't listen to you say those things about Katie."

"You were right, though, Kim," she said. "Your sister came back and she needed support. Instead of giving her that, all I could see was her pain. She was so hurt that I didn't know what to do. I freaked myself out. I didn't know how to help your sister so I did what I do best. I pretended that nothing had ever happened to her. Katie - - she never wanted to disappoint me, so she tried to do the same. But at the end of the days, all we did was hurt one another and it was too much for your sister." She stopped shuffling for the first time in her monologue. "There are very few things that I regret in this life, Kim. One of them is not being there for your sister when I should have been. The other is that I never tried to fix things between me and you. Now, I guess it's too late. But I'm going to do the best that I can with the time that I've got left."

She held the neatly stacked pile of cards out to me. "If it's all the same to you, Kim, I'd like to take my nap. Before we head to the hospital, that is," she said. I smiled and nodded. I removed the tray from her bed. She squeezed my hand before I was fully away from her, which made me smile. I was happy that we were finally connecting. After all, I'd only waited seventeen years for that opportunity.

I brought my mother's things and dirty dishes downstairs. Mrs. Callahan smiled from her spot at the sink. "It's good to have things back like they're supposed to be," she told me. I crinkled my brow in confusion. "You were too young to remember. When I first started working for your family, things used to be this happy all the time." She took the tray from my hands. "Your parents used to be like this all the time. Sunday mornings, when I first started here, your father used to make breakfast in bed. He used to wake you girls up early and take you off to your parents' bedroom. I would come in to start my work and the four of you would be laughing up in that room without a care in the world."

"When did that stop?" I asked, having no real memory of those mornings.

"When you'r mother stopped wanting to be woken up in the morning," she replied with a frown. "It's funny because your father was one of the people who made me believe that chivalry still existed. I remember thinking that your mother was crazy for giving up Sunday mornings with her husband and kids." She shook her head, her hands still over the pot that she was washing. "But then, I'm just the help. What right do I have to judge?"

"You've always been more than just the help, Mrs. Callahan. When I was little, I used to pretend that you were my mother," I admitted. "You were family, Mrs. Callahan." She smiled at me and kissed my forehead with a sort of motherly love I was discovering my mother had for me, as well. The doorbell sounded before another word was exchanged though. "Don't worry about it; I'll get it."

I'm not going to lie. Even in that moment there was a hope burning inside that it would be Jared at the door. I wanted nothing more than for him to come into the house and tell me that he was sorry, that he was wrong, that he'd overreacted about the whole thing. I took a deep breath before I turned the knob and pulled the door open. "Can we talk?" he asked. I sighed, wanting to shake my head and tell Paul to go away. But I nodded instead and stepped aside so that he could walk in.

"Mrs. Callahan, I'm in the front sitting room," I called softly, leading Paul towards the formal sitting room. "What are you doing here, Paul?" I asked when I closed the French doors together. He was standing stiffly in front of my mother's formal, entertaining sofa. He looked out of place, like a tumbleweed that had blown into a rose garden. "If Jared sent you -"

"He didn't," he cut me off. "Jared would be more than a little livid if he knew that I was here." My eyebrows winged up. "Look, it's been five days. You don't know what it does to a wolf not to have their imprint," he said. I perched myself on the edge of one of the chairs and looked at him with guarded eyes. He sank down in the sofa. "He doesn't sleep, he doesn't eat. He hates to do anything right now."

"I don't know what you want me to do with that information," I replied. "I told him that I wasn't backing down off of this. This is my mother, my family, Paul. Whether Jared likes it or not, this is where I need to be right now."

"I know that; and I get it. I really do. But can't you see his side of it? He wanted you to make a decision that was best for you."

"This isn't about what's best for me. This is about my mother. She's _dying_ and I need to be there for her. The past is the past and I have to get over it. I told Jared all of this. He just didn't want to listen to me. And unfortunately, Paul, I don't see where I'm in the wrong. So until he's ready to apologize to me, I'm not willing to backdown." He sighed, but nodded and rose off the sofa. He hadn't said much, but then again, there wasn't much to be said. I wasn't going to bend or break on this. Jared had to realize that he was wrong here.

I walked Paul back to the front door. "He really misses you, Kim. If that makes any difference in your opinion," he said, standing over the threshold. I shook my head. "Can't say I didn't try," he muttered.

"You're a good friend Paul," I offered in return.

"Look, I'm his best friend, but I know you too. And I'd like to think that we are some kind of friends." I nodded and smiled. "So if you need anything, just give me a call. I'll do what I can." He looked down at his feet like he was revealing some big secret and said, "I know what it's like to live with a sick loved one."

"And you let me know if you need something, Paul. I don't want you to think it's a one way street or anything."

I had almost closed the door all the way when he poked his head in the small opening. "For the record, I think you're doing the right thing," he added.


	50. Chapter XLIX

**Author's Note: Goodness gracious, it's just one of those days. Please see my profile for updates on timetables and other fun things. Enjoy!**

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**Chapter XLIX:****_ Jared's Point of View_**

"Hey," Paul greeted. I didn't move from my bed. "Jared, you have to get up." I shook my head into the pillow. Light flooded into the room. The curtains were pulled back from the window, the sun streaming in. "You have to get out of this room. It's been six days, Jare." I didn't move. Something heavy thunked against the back of my head. "Oh my God, you are acting like such a girl. Quit your moping and get your ass out of the bed and go apologize," he instructed."

I popped up in my bed, throwing the bookend he'd lobbed at me back at him. "Why should I apologize to her?" he demanded of me. "I have nothing to apologize for. I was trying to help her, to get her to understand that her mother is not a healthy person for her to be around. She blew me off. She doesn't want my help and I'm not sorry about the things that I said. Her mother is not a good person. I can't sit and watch her be hurt," I explained

"Yeah, I agree," Paul said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "It's much better to pout like a douche in your room while she's out there hurting. Good plan."

"Isn't there some unwritten bro code that says that you have to side with me?" I snapped.

"Not when you're being a pansy. The bro code is null and void then." I rolled my eyes. "She's not happy, Jared. I thought you imprinted wolves were all about making your girls happy."

"No, we're all about making sure that they're safe," I snarled.

"Hard to do that from your bed, wouldn't you say?" I threw a pillow at him. "Look, we're guys. The way that life works is that we apologize. We don't even have to know what we do wrong. We just have to apologize. Somewhere along the line, it's our fault. We may not know where it happened or why it happened, but it's always our fault. Just accept that and apologize."

"I'm not wrong, here. She is. Her mother is incapable of change. Kim just has too big of a heart. She'll never see her mother as hurting her or using her. That's what she's doing, Paul. Her mom knows that Kim will always forgive her and she's using it against her daughter."

"So your imprint's stupid?"

I growled. "I didn't say that," I managed through clenched teeth. "Kim is smarter than anyone else I know."

"But she's got to be stupid if she can't see that her mother is what she is," Paul replied. "I mean, there's got to be brain damage somewhere. Maybe one of those falls off her horse that she's taken." He shrugged, ignore my growls of warning to stop insulting my imprint. "She's got to be just _dumb_ if her hope is to change her mom."

"She wants to help her mother, not change her," I snapped. "She just doesn't realize that helping a monster only hurts her."

"Or maybe she wants her mom to see that she's nothing like her," he said. I glared at him, but he just shrugged nonchalantly once again. "I mean, it's just basic logic. Didn't you say that her mom is just mean?" I nodded, barely able to see him through the narrowed slits that were my eyes. "So maybe, by helping her mom and getting her through this, Kim is showing her mother that she'll never be like her." I lowered my gaze. "I mean, just a though."

"You have any other thoughts Buda?" I asked sarcastically.

"It's not my fault that I'm more insightful than you all realize," he said, throwing the pillow back at me. "Why don't you go and check on her, Jared? If you don't want to talk to her, whatever. But at least go and make sure that she's not dead." I growled again, the thought of her dead cutting to the core. "And get out of this room, for Christ's sakes. It smells like rotten milk." He chucked something undefinable at me and walked out of the room then.

I stayed in my room the rest of the day, regardless of what Paul had said. I didn't need imprint advice from someone that didn't have an imprint. And I most certainly didn't need relationship advice from Paul the Man-Whore. Unfortunately, I couldn't get his words out of my head. I hadn't seen Kim in almost a week. I wasn't going to lie: it was starting to take its toll on me. She was the other half of my soul. That was the way that an imprint was supposed to work. Unfortunately, mine had cut me off from her because we disagreed about her mother. "I'm not asking her to pick between us," I grumbled to myself.

The sun was beginning to set on La Push, only the pinkish-purple light coming in from the windows. I had spent the day just like I had spent the past week: staring at the wall and waiting for Kim to come through the doors of my room. Her note screamed at me from the top of my desk. I wasn't asking her to pick between her family and me. I was just asking her to think of herself for once, instead of everyone else that needed her help. I just wanted her to be _selfish_ for a few minutes. Was that so hard?

I decided to clean my room, especially since there was a good chance that something might be growing on my carpet. The entire time, though, I was muttering to myself and telling myself that there was nothing to worry about. Kim would figure out soon enough that her mom wasn't a good person for her to have around and that would be the end of it. Six, almost seven, days later, I was beginning to think that I had underestimated her stubbornness.

I heard my father go up to his room when I was ready to take the last trash bag out of my room. Much as I was loathe to admit it, Paul had been right. My room had been a freaking disaster zone. God forbid that Kim had decided that I was right, which I was, and come in here to apologize to me. She probably wouldn't have been able to find me under all the filth that was lying everywhere. "I'm going to Paul's, Dad," I called down the hall, slinging the plastic bag over my shoulder. My father shouted something back about being home before midnight, but that was it.

I phased the second that I was under the cover of the trees and sprinted towards Kim's house. _Finally_, Embry sighed in my head. I slid to a stop and looked over at the wolf that was sitting beneath a tree. _We're all sick and tired of listening to you moan when you're on patrol._

_I haven't been on patrol in two days,_ I snarled in return.

_Go and apologize to the girl. Just do us all a favor and keep the make-up images out of your head._

_I'm not going to apologize!_ I shouted._ Why do you all assume that I'm the one that needs to apologize? I didn't do anything wrong. I just want her to stick up for herself._ I growled at them. _I'm not going through this again. I have to run. Do me a favor and stay the hell out of my head,_ I added. Embry grumbled something about cranky wolves and their imprints, but quieted after his little rant. It was one thing that I hated most about being a wolf. The mind link came in handy in many cases, but in days like today, when all I wanted was to be left alone, it was just irritating.

Kim's bedroom window was open, the cool night breeze brushing over the sill and into her room. From my spot below her window, I heard her humming underneath her breath. I was half tempted to crawl up the tree behind the house and peek in the open portal, just to make sure that she was okay. It was such a tempting idea, I was actually on my way into the forest to phase when I stopped. I couldn't, though. If I looked at her, I would be too tempted to grab hold of her and clutch her tight to my chest.

I curled in a tight ball, my tail coming around my body and resting by my face. The tension that I hadn't realized was building in my heart began to dissipate with Kim's close proximity. There was still some of it left, though. A hard knot that was bundled in my heart. And unfortunately, I knew what it would take for that not to go away. "Night, Mom," Kim's voice called. "I'll see you in the morning." The only thing that would make it disappear was for me to actually hold my imprint again. And I couldn't do that until she realized that I was right.

Stubborn woman.


	51. Chapter L

**Author's Note: I don't have much to say except Enjoy!**

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**Chapter L:****_ Jared's Point of View_**

I was curled up on the ground beneath her window when her heartbeat jumped out of control. I sat upright, the scent of my fear swirling around my nose. I wanted to call her name and make sure that she was okay, to make sure that everything was fine. "Mom?" she called. I shot off to the trees and phased out, pulled my shorts over my hips swiftly. "Mrs. Callahan!" she shouted then. I heard pounding footsteps in her room and down her hallway. I scrambled up the tree and leaned over her window.

"Mom, wake up. Mrs. Callahan, call 911!" she shouted. Her voice was frantic. "Mom, you must wake up! Come on!" she shouted. I could smell her from where I was standing, wishing that I could help her. "Mom, you need to wake up. You are not going to die on me." I could smell the saltiness of her tears lingering in the air. My resolve officially crumbled. I pulled myself over the window sill and through the window, rushing down the hall to Kim's side; to her mother's room. "Mom, wake up," Kim demanded in a more authoritative voice than I'd ever heard before.

"Kim," I whispered. She was leaned over her mother's side, her shorts clinging to her backside and thighs. She was wearing one of my sweaters, one shoulder exposed to the moonlight. She wheeled around to look at me, her eyes full of tears. Her hand was pressed against her mother's neck, two fingers shoved against the vein there. I stepped up beside her, resting my hand on the small of her back while I tried to remove her from her mother. "It's going to be okay," I promised her quietly. I pulled her completely away from the older woman then.

"The ambulance will be here in two minutes," Mrs. Callahan said from the doorway. Her robe was tossed haphazardly around her shoulder, tied together in a sloppy knot.

I put my own fingers against her mother's neck, trying to feel for a pulse. It was there, frantic and strained. She was trying to take breaths, but something was blocking it. Kim was just staring at me, her mouth opening and closing like a fish. I twirled her aside and set her in a chair, knowing that her mother had to come first. I rubbed my knuckles roughly along her sternum, hoping the pain would keep her breathing for just a few more minutes.

The ambulance arrive, saying that they needed to take her to the hospital. I told Mrs. Callahan to get in the truck, telling the paramedics that I would meet them there. Everyone disappeared from sight then, but Kim was still standing there, staring at me. "Kim," I said softly, coming to kneel in front of her. I took her hand in mine, but it felt chilled, frozen solid with her fear. "Look at me, Kim," I implored. She turned tear filled eyes towards me. "It's going to be okay."

That was all it took for her to crumble. The dam burst and her salty tears began streaming down her cheeks. She leaned forward and wrapped her arms around my neck. I hushed her and pressed her face into my neck. Gathering her to me like a toddler, I plucked her from the chair and rushed her downstairs and into the car. "You're going to have to let go of the boy," Mrs. Callahan tried to tell her when I got to the car. She tugged at Kim's arms, but my girl held fast. "Kimberley, let go of the boy now," the woman tried.

"We don't have time for this. In the car, if you please, Mrs. Callahan," I said quietly, lifting me and a hysterical Kim into the vehicle. She straddled me and made it a little difficult to have a good hold on the steering wheel, but I didn't want to let go of her either. When we were finally on the road, on a straight stretch, I released the wheel to smooth Kim's hair against her head. She wouldn't stop crying. I didn't know that it was physically possible for someone to cry.

The three of us rushed out of the car, though Kim and I were one large bundle. Mrs. Callahan went to the front receptionist's desk to talk to someone about Regina Conwell. Kim, her sobs still gut wrenching and painful, clung to me. "It's going to be okay. I promise you, sweetheart." I turned her around so that she was sitting more sidesaddle now, my elbow resting on her bent knees. I tipped her face towards me so that I could see her clearly. She looked at me with the strangest blend of sadness and anger I almost didn't know how to react to it.

"Where have you been?" she croaked. "I know that you didn't agree with me about going back to her, but I can't believe that you would stay away for a week." She was angry, livid. Her heart beat in a strange rhythm in her chest. "I needed you, Jared. I needed someone to help me and hold me and tell me that everything was going to be okay. And you weren't here." I didn't agree with her; she was right about that. But my guilt welled up in me like a volcano about to explode.

"I'm so sorry," I told her. "I didn't want to hurt you. I thought that you would realize that I was right eventually and you would leave." She shook her head against my shoulder. "I never wanted to hurt you. If I had known that you were wanting me there, I would have been there Kim, regardless of whether we were fighting. I am so sorry." She nodded, her chest still heaving unevenly as she tried to regulate her breathing. "Did you want to talk about it?" I asked her, bringing her a little closer to me.

"She's going to die, Jared," she whispered. "They said that they don't know if there's anything that they can even do. The tumor that has spread has gone all the way into the lining of her esophagus. They'll never be able to remove the whole thing." She looked so sad, like she was really terrified that her would leave. "We were both wrong about her. She isn't this evil person that we always thought she was. She's just misguided." I nodded, not believing her. "We've talked. A lot," she continued. "We're closer now, closer than we've been my entire life."

"I'm happy to hear that, Kim." She looked at me through guarded eyes, her pride returning to the forefront.

"But you still don't think that I'm doing the right thing," she said. I nodded, because I would never lie to her. She twisted and struggled until I finally let her go. "If this was your mother, you would be there for her no matter what. And because it's my mother, because you don't like her, it's wrong for me to help her." Her voice was still scratchy, still sniffly from her tears. "This is my mother, Jared. I don't know how many more times I have to say it. I am not backing down from this. If you're not going to accept that I'm not leaving her, then be prepared to get out of here."

She had never been so mean, so rude. She'd never been so angry with me. I was thinking that it might be best to let her leave when she dove back into my arms. "You can leave in the morning," she whispered. "Because tonight I really need you here with me." I was the one to solidify her against my chest this time. I held her against my chest, against my heart, wishing that I could make her pain go away.

We'd been there for an hour or two when someone finally came to get us. Kim shot up from my lap and stood in front of the woman, tugging her sweater back up over her shoulder in a desperate attempt to look put together in the middle of the night. "How is she?" she asked immediately. The woman in front of us dipped her head professionally and looked down at the clipboard in her hand.

"Your mother has a tumor in her lung. It has been growing and was pressing down on her lungs, making it difficult for her to breath. As the tumor grows, it's only going to inhibit her ability to breathe." Kim nodded, suddenly seeming much older than I had seen her before. She crossed her arms over her chest.

"What can we do?" she asked, her voice strong and sturdy.

"We can go in and attempt to remove the tumor, but we won't know the extent of the surgery until we get in there," the doctor replied.

"You do whatever you have to," Kim said surely. The woman nodded in front of her and turned to walk away but quickly turned back.

"I almost forgot. Your mother said to tell you that she loves you," the doc added before walking out. The simple statement stopped my heart. I looked between the sincere eyes of the medical professional and the watery ones of my imprint.

I'd been wrong.


	52. Chapter LI

**Author's Note: I hope you all can find it in your hearts to forgive me for my negligence this last week. I don't get paid to sit in my house and write all day, or trust me: I would. Anyways, ignore my wishful blather and enjoy the chapter!**

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**Chapter LI**

"Kim, I'm so very sorry," he said for what felt like the millionth time. I nodded because I knew that he was sorry. I knew that he was sorry that he'd caused me any amount of pain. So I shrugged. There were things that were more important at the moment than my pain. "I was wrong," he whispered from behind me. I turned around, feeling the soft fabric of his sweater brush against my stomach as I moved. "I was wrong to keep you from your mother. I shouldn't have done that. You were right, Kim. About it all."

For what felt like the millionth time that night, I rushed into the arms of the man I loved. He caught me up in his arms and held me close to his chest. He didn't hush me this time. A few tears tripped down my cheeks, but they were nothing compared to the tears that I'd already cried. Jared just held me close and told me how sorry he was, saying over and over that he was wrong; that he should have been there with my mother and me; that he shouldn't have been such an ass.

He sat me in his lap and let me rest while we patiently waited for my mother to come out of surgery. The nurse came up a few times and gave me updates, told me that my mother would have to stay in the hospital for a few days while they monitored her. At one point, someone told me that it would be beneficial for her to start radiation. They wanted to eradicate the rest of the cancer and try to get rid of it. I was surprised when Jared actually asked questions, when he wanted to know about survival rates and treatment plans.

Hours later, when the sun was beginning to peek over the hillside, they finally said that my mother was out of surgery and stable. I rose and took Jared's hand within my own, anxious to go and check on the woman. "I'll meet you guys back here in a little while," he said, rising with me." I frowned. "Kim, after the things that I've said to your mother and the way that I treated you when you wanted to come back, I don't think that I should go in there right now."

"Don't be stupid, Jared. She doesn't care about that. She'll barely be awake. With all the drugs that they've given her, I'd be surprised if she knew her own name right now," I smiled. He shook his head again. "Jared, I can't do this without you. I don't think you understand how hard this last week has been. I've been completely on my own, trying to act like I was big and strong so that she wouldn't get disheartened. I had no one to go to at the end of the night to cry to, to tell all my worries to. I cannot do this without you."

"I'm not asking you to," he said, taking my other hand in his. Mrs. Callahan cleared her throat behind. I looked over my shoulder and nodded towards my mother's room down the hall, giving her a brief smile to tell her that everything was okay. "I have to go and explain things to my dad, Kim. I have to get things from my house and set them up in your room. I have to tell the Pack. I will explain things to your mother, I swear it. Right now is just not the right minute for all of this. She's had a rough day."

I sighed but ultimately nodded my head. He was right about this. My mother didn't need me to spring my boyfriend on her, especially when she was just barely learning to like him. "I promise you that I'll be back in a few hours. Let's give your mom some time to recover before we throw me back into the mix." I nodded and took a step away from him. I needed to get to my mother. The two of us didn't have the luxury of time. Jared and I, on the other hand, had all the time in the world. We had the rest of our lives.

I hadn't made it more than a step before Jared grabbed my shoulders and twirled me back into his arm. His mouth came crashing down on me like the waves on First Beach. My arms were trapped between our chests, but I didn't care. I gripped his shirt front between my hands and let him kiss me, let his mouth make things better in the only way that he could. He pulled away after a few short, sweet moments, pulling my lower lip with him. "I've been waiting all night for that," he whispered, his forehead against mine.

I gave a breathy laugh and let him kiss me again. It was brief and tender this time, the hunger that he'd been giving me melting into something infinitely more intimate. He pulled away, whispering a few more words about coming back and walked away, leaving me standing breathless in the lobby of the hospital. "He was wrong," I whispered to myself, laughing at the air before walking down to my mother's room. "How is she?" I asked Mrs. Callahan when I walked in.

The older woman looked at me with a discerning eye, like she could see something that I couldn't. "Not quite as well as you're doing, I would guess," she finally said. I tried to frown, but couldn't quite get the smile off my face. "You might do yourself a favor and try to temper your glow when she awakens. That _I've just been kissed _look is probably not what she wants to see." I laughed and leaned to look at the tile so that I wouldn't have to make eye contact with my house keeper. "I may be old, my dear, but I remember that feeling."

"I think you're getting delirious," I said, trying to downplay the joy inside me. My mother was in the hospital with cancer, recovering from surgery after almost dying. Here I was with a stupid grin on my face feeling like everything might work out for the first time in a long week. "Maybe you should go get some food, Mrs. Callahan. The stress obviously got to you," I said. The older woman looked at me with a bemused expression and nodded before taking herself out the room and down towards the cafeteria. I settled myself in a chair by her bedside and waited patiently for my mother to wake.

I didn't have to wait very long. After no more than half an hour, my mother's eyelid fluttered and she gave a groan. "Mom?" I called. She tried to lift her head, but only ended up dropping her head down again. "You're probably really tired, Mom. It'd be best if you would just stay still, okay?" She gave an exhausted nod. "How are you feeling?"

"Water," she coughed.

"Right, sorry; I'm not the best at this nursing thing," I muttered to myself. I shoved myself out of the chair and grabbed the styrofoam cup full of water. I made a move to tip it before I realized that it would mean pouring water down the front of her. Fumbling with her bed remote, I slowly sat her a little more upright. I tilted the cup and bent the straw at the right angle so she could take a sip. Each of her swallows came with a deep breath from me. "How are you feeling?" I said when she'd brushed her hand away from me.

"Like I got hit with an elephant on steroids," she replied. It may have been the first time that my mother made a joke. Or at least, the first time that I'd heard her make a joke. "Is it the drugs, Kimberley, or was there a boy in our house?" I blushed and looked down at the ugly linoleum tiling of the hospital floor. I gathered up the courage to look up at her, but only managed to open my mouth before she continued. "I don't want to know right now."

"It's been a long night for everyone," I agreed. "Jared and I have some - - No; _Jared_ has some explaining to do. And he's promised me that he will do that explaining. He just didn't want you to wake up and have him sitting in this room." She nodded. "After we talk to the doctor, I'm going to go home and change. Is that okay?"

She nodded. "That, by the way, is the reason that I think you women should wear respectable pajamas to bed," she said, gesturing tiredly towards my clothing. "God only knows what the people in this hospital thought when they saw you walk in here. Spandex shorts, Kimberley?" I laughed because I couldn't help it.

I laughed because my mother and I had finally found the balance between her and me.


End file.
